Fetlife

[Lil_angel_1]

So I was trying to use Fetlife to find more people near me, but it’s honestly overwhelming. I was wondering if anyone had advice on how to navigate it.  It’s just a lot and a little scary. I’ll take any advice, please. 

[Johnny5]

If you still want to use it, I recommend setting your profile up so that only friends you accept can message you.  Otherwise you may get a ton and a half of unwanted messages.  If you choose to post pics, set them to friends only.  There is a large ddlg community on Fetlife.  But remember, it is still the internet.  Just like any other site, you have to be prepared for disappointment and do your best not to take it too seriously.  I have had some success there.  But you have to be patient and be willing to weed out what you don't want.  I hope that helps.  It is just my perspective.  I'm sure other people will share theirs.

[PigtailPrincess]

1 hour ago, Lil_angel_1 said:

So I was trying to use Fetlife to find more people near me, but it’s honestly overwhelming. I was wondering if anyone had advice on how to navigate it.  It’s just a lot and a little scary. I’ll take any advice, please. 

The best place to ask about Fetlife and how to work it would probably be Fetlife

[shadowrider]

I agree with setting things to private.

 You can meet people, though in all the time I was on there I only met one I cared to talk to for more than a hot minute. 

You can search by location to find people and meetups near you which is helpful. I'm not a big meetup and hangout with strangers kinda guy so the local munches aren't my thing. Plus I'd rather not run into anyone I might know. 

Seems like most of the profiles I found near me had been abandoned or were just wanting to sell pics and videos, again, not my thing.

I left a while back because honestly if I wanted to see nothing but penises I'd go on omegle. 

I wish you all the luck though.

Maybe check out their group/club sections to see what interests you. 

 

[LeftyGuitar]

As others have said, its probably best to ask how to use Fetlife on fetlife. That being said I have tried fetlife many times over the years. I often end up deleting my account on there after some time. In recent years and in my opinion Fetlife has become a toxic cesspool. Of course your mileage may vary. Wish you all the best. 

[Andriel_Isilien]

I like FetLife because it got me in the know with munches and events in my area. I highly recommend checking through your privacy settings for who can see your location, who can message you, and even how much personal info you are willing to share (such as your age).

 

I got on there for community and friendships which is exactly what I got 🥰 I also enjoy reading people's writings as they share their experiences not just about BDSM but also life; similar to how people have discussions here. I enjoy learning from them. Many of the photos people share are art. However, I did take the time to set up filters for that and careful selection on who I follow. I avoid the K & P feed (kinky and popular).

 

To find a partner? 😬 I am not so sure about. Even though I'm not looking for that, the subject would get PUSHED despite of all my disclaimers I spell out. Dumb people will assume that the sole reason you exist on Fet is to get into a sexual relationship. 🙄 It is not a dating site.

 

Once I figured out how to lock down on direct messaging, public following, and tag people as part of my inner circle, the issue went down considerably. As a first impression, Fet was overwhelming, scary, and unhinged. Thoroughly explore your profile and account settings. 💯 That helped me immensely!

[eepopporkahah]

@Lil_angel_1 I'm on fet as eepopporkahah. Add me as a friend if you want, I can help you get acclimated.

[yeahokaysure]

Fetlife can be overwhelming. You have to pick and choose the communities that you want to join. There are some really good people on there (like me!) but I have also run across a lot of fakes and creeps. There are lots and lots of ABDL and DDLG communities that are not focused on people trying to find partners and that have decent conversations going on. Just my 2 cents