Regression slips from trauma triggers

[BabyPoppy]

Over the summer I've made some solid connections with a very few people, I trust enough to be Baby Poppy around... I am learning to be more cautious with who I trust and it's beautiful.  

But the past couple of weeks it's been trauma triggers slamming me from all directions from work stress, home stress, community stress, extended family, last week a big injury at work (physical pain and limitations), and church/faith triggers. It's all soooo much! I find comfort in littlespace and peace there, but I also am afraid to let myself go... 

In the past I have regressed into littlespace,  in my 20s it was not a choice to regress, I did not understand what was happening,  I had limited control over my actions, and I would stay there for days or sometimes weeks, depending on the trigger. As I got older, I learned coping strategies to stay present, in the moment and avoid "slipping out of control". My life was super structured,  planned organized and labeled.  

Then crazy hit... abusive ex boyfriend and ex hubby... I lost myself again.... each time starting over, rebuilding my sense of self, getting healthier, but never knowing that I was little, a baby girl inside.... 

7 years after my marriage ended, I found a "Daddy" and started learning about DDlg. (The "Daddy" didn't stick around... but that's another tale). The more I learn, the more I know this is who I am... a BabyGirl... but still I struggle. I have spent decades training myself to be self-reliant,  independent,  strong, competent, professional... when on the inside i was crying, longing to be held, cared for, noticed, validated, cherished.  I feel like life has been one giant musical and I just learn the part I need to play for that day, but this, being little, isn't a part, isn't an act....it's so much bigger!

Regression still happens, it happens more than I want it to,or than I admit. I still don't completely control it, but now it is safer, a place to color or dream, or dance and sing. I don't get yelled at and told to "act your age" any more... but the fear is still there, the anxiety hangs on from all those people who shamed me for being myself.  

This weekend was really difficult for me with a high level of pain, but a need to accomplish a lot of work. I am regretting some choices I made,  still not sure what I was thinking, but a wise person told me that I need to let it go... so I'm trying... someone also said littlespace is ok as long as I'm not at work or need to be making grown-up decisions🥰 so I'm resting in that tonight. 

To those who relate to my message,  please find comfort in knowing you are not alone. Regression is scary, isolating and overwhelming.  It does take you to a special place where life is simpler,  but leaves you without someone to protect you... it is a lot. For CG who take care of littles in this space, please be extra gentle... it makes a huge difference in how they process their experiences and how they remember you. 

 

[Princess snuggles]

Hi,

Firstly, you’re carrying and managing so much right now, and I’m really proud of your courage in sharing that.

I’ve been regressing since I was 9, and I know not everyone likes to hear that because I was a child when it started, but I’ve had a lot of experience with it over the years. I still regress now, but for me these days it’s usually a healthy, safe thing. That wasn’t always the case though. When I first started, I didn’t understand what was happening, and it could be really scary.

For me, learning to manage it came from getting the right support. Being little and regressing is absolutely okay - it can be a safe, comforting place, but when it’s uncontrollable or linked strongly to mental health struggles, having professional help was what allowed me to understand it better and feel more in control.

I’m here for you, and I’m proud of you.

Love,

Snuggles

[BabyPoppy]

I saw my therapist today....extra long. It helped, but I'm exhausted. 

@Princess snuggles I've been regressing since i was 14, but no one believed me... I've been seeking professional help since I was 19... it's been a long road. The trauma and abuse is severe and complex. 

It's taken my whole life to finally find someone to believe me, validate me and work to help me effectively. Someone who didn't minimize my pain, tell me to put it away for later,  or just grow up and act my age. 

It will be a long journey, but I gotta start somewhere. Using littlespace to heal is great, but finding safety will be first.  

Thanks for the support.  ❤️

Poppy

[Princess snuggles]

Hi @BabyPoppy

I completely hear you. It can be really hard. I was quite lucky because when I first regressed it was 24/7 (terrifying) but meant the mental health professionals supporting me, physically saw me regressed. 

It will be a long journey, but that journey has already started and that's amazing. 

I'm here if you need a friend or just someone to talk to, and I'm proud of you.

love,

snuggles 

[Little kaiya]

For myself when I'm exposed to things related to trauma I go instant full on defense adult mode. I typically only ever go into littlespace when I feel safe and am with my Daddy. It's a reasonable defense mechanism but definitely means thst since the assault last year my poor Daddy has seen much less little me ☹️

[BabyPoppy]

On 8/13/2025 at 12:28 PM, Little kaiya said:

For myself when I'm exposed to things related to trauma I go instant full on defense adult mode. I typically only ever go into littlespace when I feel safe and am with my Daddy. It's a reasonable defense mechanism but definitely means thst since the assault last year my poor Daddy has seen much less little me ☹️

I'm so sorry you struggle with this too! That's interesting! I go into defense adult mode during the trouble or stress, to protect others, but the moment I'm alone, I regress and slip into choices that are unhealthy or even unsafe... I can't find balance.

TW - mental health issues

Spoiler

The first time I was hospitalized for mental health at 19, I actually laid on the floor on my tummy in the open community area and colored kid pictures for 2 full days with my feet in the air... wow did I get in trouble for that! No one understood what was happening back then! They figured I was an overwhelmed college student... put me on SSRIs that gave me some wild hallucinations and kept me awake for days! It was such a mess! 

My life has been a process of peeling back layers of trauma over decades... and working to find the right supports in medication, environments,  people, and routines.

The best thing is it has given me a gentle spirit for the suffering of others. I am better able to support my students and their families.