Struggling to be a Daddy and Caregiver

[MisterLion]

Losing my touch day by day. Maybe I’m not fit out to be in any role 

[Mogwai]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. 

[-Soul-]

Hey Lion,

I hear you, and those feelings are absolutely valid. Every Daddy and Caregiver goes through moments of doubt, and it doesn’t mean you’re “not fit” for the role, it just means you’re human. It takes a lot out of us to pour into others, and sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and for your dynamic is to take a step back, breathe, and give yourself permission to recharge.

You don’t have to have all the answers or be perfect every day, what matters is the heart and intention you bring. I believe in you, and I’m rooting for you. Give yourself the same care and patience you want to give others! you deserve that!

You’ve got this.

 

 

Edited August 17 by -Soul-

[MissAnna]

Hi Mr Lion, I'm so sorry you are going through this 

My daddy @-Soul- is right, sometimes you have to take a step back and allow yourself to breath. It doesn't make you any less of a Caregiver or daddy, and it doesn't mean you have to leave your little/pet. It just means you have to take a deep breath and re-examine the situation that's all. 

Life is so hard at times, and being a daddy/caregiver means you not only have to make sure your emotions are in check but the emotions of your little/pet too. 

You aren't a failure, I promise.

Don't give up on yourself, you are doing so well, just one day at a time 

[Journey]

I struggled with this too and after nearly 20 years of marriage to a middle, I have figured out a couple of things.

You are going to make mistakes. You are going to miss opportunities. That is okay. That is part of the learning curve of any relationship, not just DDlg. 

There are two parts you have to take care of: taking care of her, and taking care of yourself.

One of the downsides of a DDlg relationship is that she might not take care of you. She may love you. She may try to please you. She may give you pleasure. But that is not necessarily the same as taking care of you. That means you have to take the time and space necessary to take care of yourself and address your own needs. If you have a partner that takes care of your emotional needs, then you chose wisely. But regardless, as the caregiver, as a daddy, and as a man, ultimately you have to take responsibility for your own well-being. Fair? Not really. I would rather be the little and be taken care of. But as a daddy, I have to be responsible for both her and myself. 

After all, if you don't take care of yourself, you can't effectively take care of her or anyone else. Self-care is that important.

Being here, around people who can be supportive of you is a good first start. We all want you to be happy and to succeed. We are here for you.

I have figured out that DDlg is a journey, not a destination. It has its ups and down and its curves, like any type of relationship. But you can get through this and learn from it. And when you learn from it, you can get some amazing results from what you learned. 

Keep your chin up. There is hope.