Different ≠ Wrong: a little reminder

[Princess snuggles]

A little reminder about kink shaming.

It’s 100% okay if a kink isn’t your cup of tea. We all have likes, dislikes, hard limits, and boundaries. That's normal, valid, and really healthy.

What isn’t okay is assuming that just because you don’t like something, it must be wrong, gross, or unhealthy for others. We’re already a marginalised corner of BDSM; the last thing we need is to start turning on each other.

Unless you ask, you don’t know how someone else experiences their dynamic. Judging based on assumptions or stereotypes doesn’t help anyone.

The truth is: with communication and consent, a wide range of kinks and dynamics can be built safely and beautifully.

You don’t have to like what someone else enjoys, but shaming them for it, is not it. As long as it’s between consenting adults and grounded in SSC play or RACK, it’s valid. Different ≠ Wrong.

Let’s respect each other’s dynamics. something might not be your cup of tea, but it could be someone else’s whole home.

👏 If you've made it here, thank you for reading 📖 👏 

💭 If you have kinks or dynamics that are often misunderstood, I'd love to hear what the reality looks like for you! 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

As a dominant Little, there are definitely days I feel wildly out of place here. I don't share some common things with the average Little and "Daddies" question my authoritative pink nature- they can't handle it, but to a point of rudeness. Well, I'm not a pushover and will not tolerate bullshit. Sorry not sorry.  

[Princess snuggles]

1 hour ago, .คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ said:

As a dominant Little, there are definitely days I feel wildly out of place here. I don't share some common things with the average Little and "Daddies" question my authoritative pink nature- they can't handle it, but to a point of rudeness. Well, I'm not a pushover and will not tolerate bullshit. Sorry not sorry.  

Hi @.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel that way. It’s so important to remember we can all present differently. I’m a submissive little (and also a brat, more so in big space), and I have a CNC kink too. I’ve definitely been questioned by “Daddies” about both of those, sometimes to the point of rudeness.

I really believe that a good, healthy person within BDSM, especially in something as vulnerable as CGL, shouldn’t be rude about another person’s kinks or experiences, even if they’re different from their own.

Even though I’m only a submissive little, you’re more than welcome in any little space I’m in, and I’d actually love to hear more about your experience of being a Dominant little.

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

3 minutes ago, Princess snuggles said:

Hi @.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel that way. It’s so important to remember we can all present differently. I’m a submissive little (and also a brat, more so in big space), and I have a CNC kink too. I’ve definitely been questioned by “Daddies” about both of those, sometimes to the point of rudeness.

I really believe that a good, healthy person within BDSM, especially in something as vulnerable as CGL, shouldn’t be rude about another person’s kinks or experiences, even if they’re different from their own.

Even though I’m only a submissive little, you’re more than welcome in any little space I’m in, and I’d actually love to hear more about your experience of being a Dominant little.

I think it's the overall vibe that stems from tradpartner ideals and is not actually anybody's fault deliberately and more so a societal issue in regards to anything out of the norm.  So while you apologizing is not necessary, I appreciate the social awareness.  As far as feeling like I can present differently, I've got no problems there.  Life would be boring if everybody was the same.

Oh gosh, openly admitting to having a CNC is bound to have caused you some problems at some point.  

It would be nice if people in BDSM/CGL would just stop being judgmental and rude,  but part of that is just human nature. To judge others in regards to how it reflects oneself and our own needs. However, it would be nice if people in BDSM/CGL would stop being rude to others based on those judgements, at least the ones that don't directly effect them. But that might be a rant for another day, lol.

And I don't mind sharing my experiences. So if you have questions, I might have answers, lol. I know it's definitely not a common topic, but still an interesting one. And of course, I'd be speaking exclusively for myself and from my own experiences. 

[Princess snuggles]

Hi @.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ

I think it’s a bit more nuanced than just ‘human nature’ to judge. People do make judgements, but it’s always a choice whether they’re rude about it or curious about someone’s actual lived experience.

I used to only share my CNC kink after a while of dating, but I’ve realised the people who judge CNC are often the same ones who judge me for being a child abuse (including SA) survivor. So personally, I’d rather be judged for a kink than for trauma.

I know you’re only sharing from your own perspective, but I’d love to hear more if you’re open. I’m the least Dominant person I know, so I struggle to picture it: like, if you’re the Dominant one, do you get to overrule ‘no more chocolate’? 🤭