Not sure I can start over again

[MrBrian]

I posted a couple months back and my little girl abandoning me when I needed her and since then, we have split up. I was going pretty well for a while, getting over her, but we had a MAJOR blow up a week after our breakup and when we tried being just friends.

Fast forward several weeks of me cutting contact, and she calls wanting to talk. I thought she wanted to talk over the relationship, or the friendship. She said she wasn't going anywhere. She said we would always be in each other's lives. She needed professional help with her mental health and I thought that she was going to talk about it this call, but... nope. She called to tell me she ran into some money, was moving clear across the country, she was doing well and then the next bomb she dropped on my lap absolutely gutted me. How to phrase this gently? Ummm... she 's now a prostitute. She started that via a Web site she was visiting, within a week of us splitting up!

We had years together in our ddlg relationship. The roles were ours, naturally. There was no effort. Now I could accept the relationship as being over. I can accept her seeing other people. I can even accept her roleplaying with others. I can accept that because I know whatever she does still holds some kind of meaning. But now? Now she's just sold the most sacred thing we had off to any sewer urchin with the deepest pockets. And I just don't have anything left in me now, since everything I thought was a sacred space that was priceless, has been violated by whatever scum she's let in purely for cash.

Has anyone else ever been crushed by their little girl, this thoroughly? I really can't get excited by the thought of any lifestyle anymore. Sexual excitement just stopped existing for me ever since. The desire to be a Daddy which was already wincing from the original breakup, flat out died then and there on that phone call.

[dekkensrule]

It will take you time to heal from this. Right now it may feel like you're wanting to give up but it gets better. 

Right now is the time to focus on you, focus on where you want to be in life. And that itself takes time. I know because I'm still in the process my self.

I've been on dates since my last relationship but I am not even ready. One of the girls turned into a stalker after one date. It was an interesting week. But regardless I wasn't ready and I won't be for a while longer. I know I'll meet someone else and start over with them but Right now I don't want to.

So don't worry; you may want to give up Right now but it'll work out. You'll be happy again. 

You can't control who she is or what she's doing and trying to will just hurt you, the key is learning how to let go and realising she just wasn't the one.

 

All the best though. Keep at it.

[-Soul-]

Hey Brian,

Breakups are tough, brutal sometimes!! and they’re rarely a clean process. It’s normal to feel gutted, lost, even hollow when something that meant so much suddenly changes shape or ends. I’ve been there myself, and I know that sense of grief you’re describing, it’s love with nowhere to go right now.

Regardless of how you personally view her choices, sex work does exist, and the comments made around it can either challenge the stigma or deepen it. Right now, it sounds like your pain is more about loss and betrayal than the work itself, but framing her decision in a way that devalues her or others in that field doesn’t help you heal, and it adds to that wider stigma.

My suggestion? Cut off all contact for a while. Not as punishment, but as self-preservation. Stop reopening the wound. Therapy or counseling could also help you untangle the grief and anger before they harden into bitterness. Life’s too short to live stuck in that loop! and though it feels impossible now, there is a way forward.

Let yourself grieve. Then start living again.

Edited August 22 by -Soul-

[MasterPhotog]

3 hours ago, MrBrian said:

I posted a couple months back and my little girl abandoning me when I needed her and since then, we have split up. I was going pretty well for a while, getting over her, but we had a MAJOR blow up a week after our breakup and when we tried being just friends.

Fast forward several weeks of me cutting contact, and she calls wanting to talk. I thought she wanted to talk over the relationship, or the friendship. She said she wasn't going anywhere. She said we would always be in each other's lives. She needed professional help with her mental health and I thought that she was going to talk about it this call, but... nope. She called to tell me she ran into some money, was moving clear across the country, she was doing well and then the next bomb she dropped on my lap absolutely gutted me. How to phrase this gently? Ummm... she 's now a prostitute. She started that via a Web site she was visiting, within a week of us splitting up!

We had years together in our ddlg relationship. The roles were ours, naturally. There was no effort. Now I could accept the relationship as being over. I can accept her seeing other people. I can even accept her roleplaying with others. I can accept that because I know whatever she does still holds some kind of meaning. But now? Now she's just sold the most sacred thing we had off to any sewer urchin with the deepest pockets. And I just don't have anything left in me now, since everything I thought was a sacred space that was priceless, has been violated by whatever scum she's let in purely for cash.

Has anyone else ever been crushed by their little girl, this thoroughly? I really can't get excited by the thought of any lifestyle anymore. Sexual excitement just stopped existing for me ever since. The desire to be a Daddy which was already wincing from the original breakup, flat out died then and there on that phone call.

MrBrian, 

I just want to say I'm really sorry you're going through this. What you’re feeling makes complete sense, it's a heavy, emotional situation, and anyone in your shoes would be shaken up. You gave your heart and years of your life to someone, and it’s heartbreaking when things unravel in a way that feels so disconnected from the love you shared.

It’s okay to feel betrayed and gutted. It’s okay to feel like something sacred was lost. You’re not wrong for grieving that.

But also… you’re here. You cut contact when you needed to protect yourself. You were healing. That shows strength. And even now, after this bombshell, you're trying to process things instead of lashing out or spiraling, and that’s something to be proud of, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

What she’s chosen to do with her life from here on out is outside your control. It doesn’t rewrite your past or the love you gave. It doesn’t erase the meaning it had for you. And it definitely doesn’t reduce your worth or the depth of your connection. That was real, even if it ended painfully.

You’re allowed to grieve. You're allowed to be angry. But don’t let this destroy the progress you’ve made. There’s more to you than this one heartbreak, no matter how deep it cuts.

Be kind to yourself, yeah? You’ve already come through a lot, and you’re still moving forward, even if it’s slow and messy. That counts.

Please continue to be strong, one step and day at a time.
 

[MrBrian]

On 8/22/2025 at 3:59 AM, -Soul- said:

Hey Brian,

Breakups are tough, brutal sometimes!! and they’re rarely a clean process. It’s normal to feel gutted, lost, even hollow when something that meant so much suddenly changes shape or ends. I’ve been there myself, and I know that sense of grief you’re describing, it’s love with nowhere to go right now.

Regardless of how you personally view her choices, sex work does exist, and the comments made around it can either challenge the stigma or deepen it. Right now, it sounds like your pain is more about loss and betrayal than the work itself, but framing her decision in a way that devalues her or others in that field doesn’t help you heal, and it adds to that wider stigma.

My suggestion? Cut off all contact for a while. Not as punishment, but as self-preservation. Stop reopening the wound. Therapy or counseling could also help you untangle the grief and anger before they harden into bitterness. Life’s too short to live stuck in that loop! and though it feels impossible now, there is a way forward.

Let yourself grieve. Then start living again.

Oh, i fully support sex workers, I do. But when I know anybody can toss an extra $200 at her and tell her to call them "Daddy"... she'll do it. She won't hesitate. She's basically selling off everything she said was "ours" and "sacred" to whoever pays her the most money, so this isn't like a normal breakup where we just move on and live our lives. There's no part on the past 6 years I can look at without it being toxic now. Even the good moments, all play through to the end she's now living - for sale to the highest bidder.

[MissAnna]

23 minutes ago, MrBrian said:

Oh, i fully support sex workers, I do. But when I know anybody can toss an extra $200 at her and tell her to call them "Daddy"... she'll do it. She won't hesitate. She's basically selling off everything she said was "ours" and "sacred" to whoever pays her the most money, so this isn't like a normal breakup where we just move on and live our lives. There's no part on the past 6 years I can look at without it being toxic now. Even the good moments, all play through to the end she's now living - for sale to the highest bidder.

I can't imagine what you are going through, all I can offer is my condolences. 

Take time to grieve and focus on you, if you want to work on your relationship with her, you can ask her to refrain from certain words or phrases with her clients.

Its up to you, in the end you have to grieve and with grieving it takes time, I really hope everything works out for you. 

[-Soul-]

1 hour ago, MrBrian said:

Oh, i fully support sex workers, I do. But when I know anybody can toss an extra $200 at her and tell her to call them "Daddy"... she'll do it. She won't hesitate. She's basically selling off everything she said was "ours" and "sacred" to whoever pays her the most money, so this isn't like a normal breakup where we just move on and live our lives. There's no part on the past 6 years I can look at without it being toxic now. Even the good moments, all play through to the end she's now living - for sale to the highest bidder.

Hey Brian,

I get that, I really do. It feels like something sacred was made cheap, and that can cut deeper than a clean breakup ever would. But here’s the hard truth… that was hers to give or sell, just like if you one day call someone else your little girl or they call you “Daddy,” it doesn’t erase what you once had. It just means it’s no longer exclusive.

Right now, holding onto that sense of violation is only keeping the wound open. She’s made her choices that’s her prerogative. What you need to do now is grieve what’s lost, then start the process of letting go. The more you live in that anger and resentment, the more you’re only hurting yourself, not her.

Life’s too short to stay bleeding over someone who’s already moved on.

[beanbean]

On 8/22/2025 at 12:42 AM, MrBrian said:

I posted a couple months back and my little girl abandoning me when I needed her and since then, we have split up. I was going pretty well for a while, getting over her, but we had a MAJOR blow up a week after our breakup and when we tried being just friends.

Fast forward several weeks of me cutting contact, and she calls wanting to talk. I thought she wanted to talk over the relationship, or the friendship. She said she wasn't going anywhere. She said we would always be in each other's lives. She needed professional help with her mental health and I thought that she was going to talk about it this call, but... nope. She called to tell me she ran into some money, was moving clear across the country, she was doing well and then the next bomb she dropped on my lap absolutely gutted me. How to phrase this gently? Ummm... she 's now a prostitute. She started that via a Web site she was visiting, within a week of us splitting up!

We had years together in our ddlg relationship. The roles were ours, naturally. There was no effort. Now I could accept the relationship as being over. I can accept her seeing other people. I can even accept her roleplaying with others. I can accept that because I know whatever she does still holds some kind of meaning. But now? Now she's just sold the most sacred thing we had off to any sewer urchin with the deepest pockets. And I just don't have anything left in me now, since everything I thought was a sacred space that was priceless, has been violated by whatever scum she's let in purely for cash.

Has anyone else ever been crushed by their little girl, this thoroughly? I really can't get excited by the thought of any lifestyle anymore. Sexual excitement just stopped existing for me ever since. The desire to be a Daddy which was already wincing from the original breakup, flat out died then and there on that phone call.

That’s really rough I am sorry ! But isn’t it just possible she wasn’t really who you thought she was ? Sometimes when we are blindsided from something it’s because we ignored the warning signs.! I do understand not wanting to start over !

[Lil_K47]

I'm really very sorry that you're going through this. 

Her behavior now could be part of her mental illness, could be part of her personality that you just never knew about. Really it's impossible to know and to continue to try to puzzled it out, all you're gonna do is drive yourself crazy!

Dealing with mental illness, is difficult in end of itself, and honestly you can't help someone who isn't ready to help themself. 

For now it sounds like the best thing you can do is to take care of yourself, your mental and emotional well-being is important. Focus on you and your healing, because unless you do that you'll never be able to move on. And moving on and healing, its a process, it's not gonna happen overnight, so remember that and try to be kind to yourself!