Age Regression - Perception of Ages

[Journey]

I have been married to a middle for nearly 20 years now, and I noticed something interesting. Regarding age regression, what age I think she is and the age she things she is not the same. 

For example, when we first met, she told me she always felt like she was 14, and later while in middle space said she was 12. This was during her SpongeBob phase. But from my perspective as the caregiver, she was probably age regressed to around 8 to 10 years old, and was nowhere near 12 or 14. 

Now she is in her anime and playing on her phone phase. I am not sure what age she thinks she is now, but my impression is that she is age regressed to somewhere around 11 to 12, even when she thinks she is being an adult.

I am curious if anyone else noticed a discrepancy between the age the little thinks they are while regressed and the age the caregiver thinks they are while regressed.

[Journey]

On a side note, it may be a cultural thing, a generational thing, or a perception thing.

I am older than her so I am in a different generation, and she comes from a different culture that is much more playful, from a country on the other side of the world with very different customs. 

But it also could be how your perception of yourself does not necessarily reflect reality or how others view you.

 

[CupcakeSparklies]

I think I am 5 or 6. Daddy says I am more like 3. 

*shrug* 

[kuuchan]

Does it really matter though? If she thinks she's 12, that's what she is. I am a middle who regresses to a 12 yo, but i enjoy baby things like pacis, bottles and diapies, but i also like more "grown up" things while in middlespace too. Still a proud 12 yo though! She might have a reason why that age range feels special/comfortable to her, and that's why she chose that. But i don't know her, so who knows, maybe she could still be figuring things out. 

i just don't think a specific little age really matters that much at the end of the day. 

[Journey]

I don't think it matters either, but I was just curious about other people's experiences. 

[CupcakeSparklies]

1 hour ago, kuuchan said:

Does it really matter though? 

i just don't think a specific little age really matters that much at the end of the day.

 

1 hour ago, kuuchan said:

Does it really matter though? 

i just don't think a specific little age really matters that much at the end of the day. 

This is exactly how I feel I feel I dont really have a specific age, but more of a range or a developmental stage. 

[sheepie uwu]

I stopped labeling myself with a Littleage recently. I'm an adult with cute hobbies. Other people's opinions about my regression don't really matter, as I'm not doing it for their benefit.

[Journey]

1 hour ago, sheepie uwu said:

I stopped labeling myself with a Littleage recently. I'm an adult with cute hobbies. Other people's opinions about my regression don't really matter, as I'm not doing it for their benefit.

I think that is how my wife is these days. When we first married, she often picked an age. Now, I don't think she does that anymore, she just happens to like the same things an 11 or 12 year old likes. 

I just let her be whatever age she wants to be and adjust my interactions based on that. When she needs more support, I give her more support. When she wants more independence, I giver her the space to do so.

But, in my case, she is the one who wanted the DDlg relationship and introduced me to the concept. So I am just pretty much catering to her unique needs. 

 

 

 

[sheepie uwu]

I imagine some couples might notice an age discrepancy when hard rules are in place. They might even have funishments and rewards revolving around it. But I don't really think it's the bigger picture for a lot of us.

[Journey]

On 9/13/2025 at 1:49 AM, kuuchan said:

i just don't think a specific little age really matters that much at the end of the day. 

I thought about this for a bit, and I realized that from a caretaker's perspective, it does matter to certain degree. Not in the sense that you have to assign an age to it, but rather in the sense that you have to know their mental capacity while age regressed. 

It depends if your partner is age regressing or is just role playing. If you are role playing, age is just a number. But when age regressed, they can't handle the same things an adult can.

For example, I need to know when my wife is age regressed to 10. When she encounters something above her mental capacity while age regressed, she starts having anxiety because she can't handle it. Or, in other words, if a 10 year old would be stressed about it, so would my 26+ year old wife while she is age regressed. So I, as the caregiver, have to create an environment where she is not overwhelmed and stressed, and that I provide the emotion support suitable for a 10 year old rather than an adult.

If you are caring for someone who is age regressing, knowing their mental state in the moment is vital, because the care you give someone in an adult state is different than someone regressed to 10 or 5. And someone age regressed to 5 needs different care than someone age regressed to 10 or 13. 

For the little or middle, I don't think it matters. Whatever age they feel is whatever age they feel. Just go with it. But the caregiver needs to be mindful of their mental state. 

[kuuchan]

4 minutes ago, Journey said:

I thought about this for a bit, and I realized that from a caretaker's perspective, it does matter to certain degree. Not in the sense that you have to assign an age to it, but rather in the sense that you have to know their mental capacity while age regressed. 

It depends if your partner is age regressing or is just role playing. If you are role playing, age is just a number. But when age regressed, they can't handle the same things an adult can.

For example, I need to know when my wife is age regressed to 10. When she encounters something above her mental capacity while age regressed, she starts having anxiety because she can't handle it. Or, in other words, if a 10 year old would be stressed about it, so would my 26+ year old wife while she is age regressed. So I, as the caregiver, have to create an environment where she is not overwhelmed and stressed, and that I provide the emotion support suitable for a 10 year old rather than an adult.

If you are caring for someone who is age regressing, knowing their mental state in the moment is vital, because the care you give someone in an adult state is different than someone regressed to 10 or 5. And someone age regressed to 5 needs different care than someone age regressed to 10 or 13. 

For the little or middle, I don't think it matters. Whatever age they feel is whatever age they feel. Just go with it. But the caregiver needs to be mindful of their mental state. 

hmm, interesting, i've never thought of that. I've never been in a relationship (vanilla or otherwise), and don't plan on being in one, so i can only really speak from the little/middle perspective. And since i enjoy this lifestyle alone, i tend to only see it from my own perspective only. I just see a lot of little specifically, get too hung up on the number and then they get stressed over it, which is obviously not nice to see. My regression age is special to me, but it's also just a number and it doesn't restrict me. 

but thank you for your perspective on the matter. i understand more what you're original post means. I need to remember more often that this site is mostly for people in relationships and exploring healthy dynamics not just for the individuals. 

 

[Journey]

1 hour ago, kuuchan said:

hmm, interesting, i've never thought of that. I've never been in a relationship (vanilla or otherwise), and don't plan on being in one, so i can only really speak from the little/middle perspective. And since i enjoy this lifestyle alone, i tend to only see it from my own perspective only. I just see a lot of little specifically, get too hung up on the number and then they get stressed over it, which is obviously not nice to see. My regression age is special to me, but it's also just a number and it doesn't restrict me. 

but thank you for your perspective on the matter. i understand more what you're original post means. I need to remember more often that this site is mostly for people in relationships and exploring healthy dynamics not just for the individuals. 

I am not that common either. I've been married 20 years to a middle who is pretty much age regressed all of the time. Most of the people on this forum have little space and adult space and switch between them. Some are age regressing, some are role playing. Most of them seem new to DDlg, at least relative to me. I think it is a bit different for everyone. But I am an outlier here too. 

And I don't even think my wife picks a number anymore. She just is who she is. She happens to like the same things an 11 year old would like, and is just being herself. Some days she is more confident in herself and some days she is more insecure. There are no restrictions on who she is. She is just herself. 

I realized I had to pay attention to my wife's mental state when she started having anxiety attacks, and then realized she had age regressed and that she was pretty much operating at an 11 year old capacity. I started treating her like she was 11, and the anxiety is going away and she is become more confident in herself since I am there to support her.

So my case may also be unique. But I think the principle still applies when caring for another person. You can't effectively care for them if you don't understand their mental state in that moment. This even applies if you are not in a DDlg relationship.

Edited 10 hours ago by Journey

[BabyPoppy]

I think this makes a lot of sense. As a little i regress and I'm not always in control of when, where, or how that will look for me, so it does effect my adult life. I have tricks I use to stay in the right head space for work or other adult tasks, but it is a challenge sometimes and I don't always know I'm slipping. This causes a lot of anxiety or even panic attacks for me, and depression symptoms later when I realize I was behaving immaturely. I don't want to slip into littlespace at certain times, but the more comfortable I become with my little self, the harder it is to stay in grown-up awareness when I need to be there. I think it would help if I could have more time to be in littlespace daily, but my life doesn't allow for that right now.

Littlespace regression time, for me is a wonderful place I can find peace, healing, safety,  acceptance and love for who I am. It's not just a place I go to be little. It also doesn't really have an age. In my head, it's just a sense of freedom, love, peace and safety. The age part comes from my grown-up brain trying to understand something abstract and give meaning to something bigger to help others accept me too.

Maybe part of the anxiety comes from not being understood,  or being misunderstood.  The truest desires of my heart are to bring love, and support to those around me, but people see me and fight it. How can an innocent adult be successful? They wanna control me and push me to be like them.  But I'm not, I'm me. Littlespace saves me from a very big, very scary world and that's a good thing. 

Hopefully this helps from  a little's perspective.  

[Journey]

In many ways, the whole point of age regressing is to get away from adult concerns and burdens. A caregiver, on the other hand, has to think about these things when taking care of a little or middle.