I'm very nervous

[justin1979]

I am 46 years old I have always been a ABDL I have always dreamed of sharing this with someone. I thought there is something very wrong with me. I have hidden in shame I have not had a relationship before I am so scared. I have had a hard life. I been bullied from age 6 right until I was 20. Living with such fear every day the only comfort was my own little space. I have just started not so long ago and found out that there is other people like me. This week has been so hard I worked for a place where I was treated badly. Always yelled at put down then they discovered the diapers in garage. I rent from my employer. Anyway the mocking he told everyone. I had to run again.. I'm 46 and again going to have to restart my life. It's so hard. I have no family. When I did mother sister even Dad would insult me as a teenager because I was frightened to go anywhere. Basically I am a loser loner terrified hurting person. I do have my Dog Delilah I really love her so much. Anyway I needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you this is my first time public saying I wear diapers.

[beanbean]

Well glad your here and that you can express yourself finally and I sincerely hope you found the things your looking for

[NikkiNoo]

Well done for having the courage to share all of that.

I see it that you're incredibly resourceful for finding a way to cope with life's challenges, and that's certainly nothing to be ashamed of. I'm so sorry that other people have made you feel ashamed.

It sounds like you're carrying a lot of heavy stuff, and that your mind is telling you stories about being a 'loser' and a 'loner.' Our minds are very good at this, and it's so easy to believe that everything we think about ourselves is true. It might help to talk these things through with a therapist, or if that feels too scary you could try something like AI journaling. I have an app on my phone that lets me type out my thoughts and worries, and the AI gives me really helpful feedback and suggestions for dealing with these thoughts.

Take a look at some posts on here, as it can also help to see that you're not alone, and that others have worked through similar feelings to those you're expressing.

I wish you well on your healing journey.

Nikki

[MissAnna]

51 minutes ago, justin1979 said:

I am 46 years old I have always been a ABDL I have always dreamed of sharing this with someone. I thought there is something very wrong with me. I have hidden in shame I have not had a relationship before I am so scared. I have had a hard life. I been bullied from age 6 right until I was 20. Living with such fear every day the only comfort was my own little space. I have just started not so long ago and found out that there is other people like me. This week has been so hard I worked for a place where I was treated badly. Always yelled at put down then they discovered the diapers in garage. I rent from my employer. Anyway the mocking he told everyone. I had to run again.. I'm 46 and again going to have to restart my life. It's so hard. I have no family. When I did mother sister even Dad would insult me as a teenager because I was frightened to go anywhere. Basically I am a loser loner terrified hurting person. I do have my Dog Delilah I really love her so much. Anyway I needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you this is my first time public saying I wear diapers.

First welcome to our beautiful community, secondly you aren't a loser no one on here is. This is a nonjudgmental community where we welcome all who come here with open arms.

I'm so sorry you had to endure that, I couldn't imagine how hard that must have been for you. 

I'm glad you had your puppy, she sounds like a total sweetheart.

Please remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 

[-Soul-]

As others and my MissAnna have said, welcome, we are judge free here, you can be yourself! This is our slice of heaven!

[BabyPoppy]

Welcome to the community @justin1979. I understand you struggle a little bit. I'm finally accepting my ABDL self the past several years, but I don't have any people in my life, outside this forum,  who I can share this part of myself. I tried sharing my little self with a close friend,  but like you said it went badly and I still get made fun of for it. Just yesterday, I was yelled at by the person I trusted with my little self... it hurts so much more when they betray you. I'm so sorry you are going through this alone. But you are no longer alone! We are a very welcoming community. Please feel free to join clubs and look around! Ask questions.  There is a lot if knowledge in here! 

 

[MissNMTX]

It was very brave of you to share all of this. I hope you can find healing