Needing to have a caregiver

[Guest Byzantiume]

Does anyone else feel like they can’t function without a daddydom/caregiver in their life? I’ve tried to talk to a therapist about how I feel like I can’t exist without someone taking care of me, but I don’t think she understood… I know I need to be an adult but when I don’t have a caregiver type person in my life that I can tell everything to, I just kind of spiral… it is very hard for me to go through life without someone to be dependent on.

 

 

[SleepyLynn]

I get this deeply.

I am new to little space and everything- but this is a default feeling I've struggled with my whole life- the feeling of needing to be taken care of / telling everything to someone or else I'll spiral- for me it stems from a life of truama that's left me unable to exist and take care of myself properly without depending on someone else. So you are not alone in this feeling.

[Little kaiya]

I used to feel thst way when I was much younger but as I've gotten older I've reframed it as something I want versus need.

When things become needs they often can risk falling into unhealthy behaviours, e.g. staying in a bad relationship, not developing independence in caseca CG leaves, is injured or passes away, putting everything on a partner which can lead to relationship issues, codependency or even living constantly in the future versus the present.

I'm not going to say wanting a CG is bad, there are tons of folks here who do but there are still healthy lines to consider and boundaries to be set to distinguish between want, need and need crossing the line into unhealthyness for one, the other, both or more.

Edited September 23 by Little kaiya

[Virtue]

I hear you, and I totally get how overwhelming that feeling can be. It can be hard to articulate to someone who doesn’t fully understand the depth of that need. It sounds like having a daddydom/caregiver figure gives you a sense of stability and safety that helps you function, and without it, everything feels more chaotic or difficult to handle. I think there’s a lot of power in having someone to lean on, especially when it’s about your emotional well-being and being able to openly share everything without judgment.

I would be happy to be a source of support for you in whatever way you need, even if it's just a listening ear or someone to help guide you through those spirals. Having that kind of connection can make a huge difference. You deserve that sense of care and understanding, and I’d love to provide that where I can. Does that sound okay to you?

 

[Lil_angel_1]

You’re definitely not alone. I mostly feel the same way. I can function, but I know I don’t do it well. Everything tends to get out of control or done at the last minute. I hate adulting and making decisions. I told my best friend about this, and she wasn’t happy. So I can’t imagine telling my therapist. I struggle so hard with even the simplest decisions. I wish I had good advice, but I honestly don’t know how to help. If you’re forgetful like me, I tend to write notes for myself to remember. I wish you luck and hope we both figure it out because finding a good caregiver is so hard. 

[Lil_K47]

you're definitely not alone y'all, I think it's a pretty common trait of Littles, none of us really like to adult not unless we really have to! 

I found having the support of a few good friends is very helpful! There's a club on here called it takes a village, y'all might want to check that out there's a section where you can post about  if you need reminders about different things and just support in general. We all try to support each other and give each other what we need! 

The lighthouse Cove is also another great club if you have things that you want to get off your mind and things that you may want some advice on. 

We truly are community here, be sure to explore the forums and take advantage of what we offer! 💙💙

[Loveybunnygrl]

i actually just got back from my little break from this website, not bc its bad but bc i was feeling this same way, super helpless and dependent i got myself in a situation with a guy on here (already spoken with mods)  over a misunderstanding and it really opened my eyes to the fact i was trying to heal from my long term relationship ending by RUSHINGGG into these guys arms barely vetting if they were fake before handing out my social media or phone number, sometimes a break is good till you can feel less needy and see clearly again

[Journey]

I'm married to a middle, and I would like to suggest that it may be useful to look at the difference between being able to survive versus needing emotional support.

For example, my middle can survive on her own, hold a job, and handle adult tasks when she needs to. Before I met her, she even held a technical job in a foreign country as an overseas worker with no nearby family for years. She even has a highly technical job now. It is stressful for her, but she can do it. She, however, needs emotional support and age regresses to escape adult pressures, otherwise she gets anxiety. I try to support her as much as I can as her caregiver.

She does not need someone to survive, but she needs emotional support to thrive.

Everyone needs emotional support, and that can come from a variety of sources including friends or a support group or therapy or communities like this one, not just a caregiver or romantic partner. 

Survival skills are a bit more critical. Without them, you can become dependent on someone else.

I just wanted to add that distinction to the conversation. 

Edited Thursday at 09:30 AM by Journey