For the littles and middles who don't age regress- how do you know your little/middle?

[Journey]

50 minutes ago, SleepyLynn said:

I'm glad she got used to it- and that makes sense- maybe I do age regress? I Dunno it's confusing to determine or figure out lol

It caused issues in our marriage early on though. She did not like being the big sister at all. After she met my parents and learned of my childhood, and she became a bit more sympathetic. Both my sister and my wife think my parents caused a lot of trauma that I still deal with today.

But back to the topic.

There are so many ways to frame this. Many aspects to explore.

Tapping into your Inner Child

Another way to think about it is tapping into your inner child. In that sense you can act and behave like a child, but still be aware that you are an adult. In this case you are not age regressing, just tapping into your inner child. If you are fully aware that you are an adult, and you can think like an adult, then you might just be tapping into your inner child.

Emotion versus Logic

You can also frame it as instinct/emotion versus versus logic/reason. The younger a person is, or the younger a person age regresses to, the more emotional and instinctual they are. Less thinking, more emotions. For example, a baby doesn't think about wanting mommy; she just feels that she needs mommy. As you move up in age range, more logic and reason start taking hold, with most adults being driven mostly by logic and reason, holding their emotional self in check. This is one reason age regression is helpful to some people. They can tap into that more emotional and instinctual and primal personality again. 

When my wife age regresses, she basically turns into a person driven by emotions who responds to instincts, especially sexual instincts.  (For my wife, middle space is sexual and adult space is mostly asexual, probably because she taps into her more primal instincts when a middle.) She is submissive and does not even want to think or make decisions. She wants daddy to take care of her. She is relatively simple to take care of. Make her feel good and she is happy. But when she is in adult space, she is more ruled by logic and reason. Everything must make logical sense to her in adult space, whereas in middle space, as long as it feels good, she wants to do it. 

Mental Capacity

You can also look at mental capacity when considering whether you are age regressed or not. When my wife is age regressed, she has a one track mind racing with thoughts. Very similar to an 8 to 10 year old child. She asks a question, gets distracted with something else, and forgets what she asked. She only can focus on one thing at a time. If she is on her phone or watching anime, you might as well not be there. She gets overwhelmed easier too. But in adult space, she has the capacity for handling very complex tasks and is extremely smart and multi-faceted. So when I say she age regresses, I mean her mental capacity is that of a 10 year old, and anything that would stress out a 10 year old would stress her out. (I learned this the hard way, by the way. When she is age regressed, she can't handle adult issues very well. Giving her adult burdens gives her anxiety.)

If you have the same mental capacity of an adult while acting like a child, you are probably not age regressing. But it is also possible that you are age regressing and you don't realize it. After all, sometimes 12 year olds think they are all grown up, but they still have the maturity of a 12 year old.

Summary

There are so many different aspects here at play. In the end the label does not matter. It's more about self-discovery and figuring out what is right for you.

Look at some of the aspects that I mentioned and see if any apply to you. I would tell you to ask your daddy, but it sounds like he is still learning too. 

Edited Monday at 02:59 PM by Journey

[Journey]

23 minutes ago, Journey said:

If you have the same mental capacity of an adult while acting like a child, you are probably not age regressing. But it is also possible that you are age regressing and you don't realize it. After all, sometimes 12 year olds think they are all grown up, but they still have the maturity of a 12 year old.

That is what fooled me at first with my wife. She acted like an adult sometimes, but if she was age regressed, it was more like what a 12 year old thinks is an adult. And she would get stressed and have anxiety if she was overwhelmed with adult matters. When I realized that, I started treating her as if she were 11 and now her anxiety of getting better. So, sometimes it is not obvious if a person is age regressed. 

I know that I am giving you a lot of think about, but I have been married to a middle for 20 years. I learned some of this the hard way. Hopefully some of this helps.

I may be getting a bit off topic, but I wanted to address some of the things you brought up.

Although I am sometimes a little, we should hear more from the little and middles out there. 

Edited Monday at 03:13 PM by Journey

[SleepyLynn]

21 minutes ago, Journey said:

Tapping into your Inner Child

Another way to think about it is tapping into your inner child. In that sense you can act and behave like a child, but still be aware that you are an adult. In this case you are not age regressing, just tapping into your inner child. If you are fully aware that you are an adult, and you can think like an adult, then you might just be tapping into your inner child.

Emotion versus Logic

You can also frame it as instinct/emotion versus versus logic/reason. The younger a person is, or the younger a person age regresses to, the more emotional and instinctual they are. Less thinking, more emotions. For example, a baby doesn't think about wanting mommy; she just feels that she needs mommy. As you move up in age range, more logic and reason start taking hold, with most adults being driven mostly by logic and reason, holding their emotional self in check. This is one reason age regression is helpful to some people. They can tap into that more emotional and instinctual and primal personality again. 

When my wife age regresses, she basically turns into a person driven by emotions who responds to instincts, especially sexual instincts.  (For my wife, middle space is sexual and adult space is mostly asexual, probably because she taps into her more primal instincts when a middle.) She is submissive and does not even want to think or make decisions. She wants daddy to take care of her. She is relatively simple to take care of. Make her feel good and she is happy. But when she is in adult space, she is more ruled by logic and reason. Everything must make logical sense to her in adult space, whereas in middle space, as long as it feels good, she wants to do it. 

Mental Capacity

You can also look at mental capacity when considering whether you are age regressed or not. When my wife is age regressed, she has a one track mind racing with thoughts. Very similar to an 8 to 10 year old child. She asks a question, gets distracted with something else, and forgets what she asked. She only can focus on one thing at a time. If she is on her phone or watching anime, you might as well not be there. She gets overwhelmed easier too. But in adult space, she has the capacity for handling very complex tasks and is extremely smart and multi-faceted. So when I say she age regresses, I mean her mental capacity is that of a 10 year old, and anything that would stress out a 10 year old would stress her out. (I learned this the hard way, by the way. When she is age regressed, she can't handle adult issues very well. Giving her adult burdens gives her anxiety.)

If you have the same mental capacity of an adult while acting like a child, you are probably not age regressing. But it is also possible that you are age regressing and you don't realize it. After all, sometimes 12 year olds think they are all grown up, but they still have the maturity of a 12 year old.

this was a lot to read but- weirdly or not weirdly I relate to a lot of this- like I am not a person who runs on logic- so much so that my friends and i have an inside joke of "Lynn logic" where its me making decisions solely based on my emotion/how I feel in the moment - the only time I use actual logic and reasoning is when its a serious matter. I am also a submissive person- making decisions of any kind gives me anxiety and overwhelms me- even having to make a simple choice of what to make for dinner can leave me feeling overwhelmed me and frustrated me because I just cant make that decision and being forced to decide makes me frustrated. The one tracked mind- getting distracted easily- spacing out also hits really hard and close to home. My fiancé has pointed out a few times when I go one track minded because it locks in and that's the only thing I want at the moment lol Doing chores often times overwhelms me and frustrates me- there are times where I can do them/ want to do them and go full cleaning mode but more often then not, doing chores gives me so much anxiety- to the point I had to kinda start doing things day by day- like "wash and dry the clothes today" then the next day  or two "fold the clothes"

when i do slip into more childlike state of mind, my impulsive win over I speak more in a baby voice- more whiny- more playful, more giggly - it doesn't feel like a conscious decision of like "I'm going to speak like a baby and lick you because it be fun or cute" it's more just happening naturally-impulsively like that's they best way I can describe it but its hardly even a thought behind it when it happens- like ill look at my SO's forehead and stare at it and just go "gib forehead" and instantly lick it- there's no thought, just action and want lol 

My my dom daddy was over- we were cuddling and he pointed out that my little side was showing because I just randomly started giggling like a meance at his beard hair that had a hair that stuck out and I plucked it before blowing a raspbberry on his stomach lol - it just comes out full force and randomly and not fully a "im deciding to be childish" because when i try to engage in littlespace on purpouse and be more childish it feels way different- almost awkward and less potent- like i do the activity- and i enjoy it but not in the same manner as I do when I know im feeling little.

I've also had a lot of trauma and it wasn't until recently i left an emotionally abusive household - and my mother caused a lot of issues for me and made me codependent and for the last 3 years ive worked hard in therapy to learn to be more independent 

[SleepyLynn]

32 minutes ago, Journey said:

I know that I am giving you a lot of think about, but I have been married to a middle for 20 years. I learned some of this the hard way. Hopefully some of this helps.

It is helping- like honestly I'm seeing alot of similarities ngl and its kinda reassuring/ helping me to understand things a bit more.

[Journey]

1 hour ago, SleepyLynn said:

It is helping- like honestly I'm seeing alot of similarities ngl and its kinda reassuring/ helping me to understand things a bit more.

I am glad it is helping.

I want to add that from the perspective of a daddy, I do believe you are age regressing. In fact it almost sounds like you only go into adult mode when you have to and for more serious things. This sounds very similar to my wife when we first met. Even though she had a job and could do complex tasks, she was almost never in adult mode when we first married, much to my surprise, since I though she was into role play in the bedroom. Had no clue about age regression at the time, and certainly did not expect her to be age regressed to somewhere between 8 and 10 nearly 24/7. (She left her job when she moved in, and basically reverted to a middle full time.)

These days she is more capable of moving into adult space, although prolonged exposure does still give her anxiety. So I still need to be mindful of her mental state. But having a supportive daddy has actually increased her confidence a bit, which is good. She communicates better in adult mode now too. She still prefers the lifestyle of an 11 year old, but she is not stuck in the 8 to 10 year old range, like when we met. She can be an adult when she needs or wants to be.

You did mention that your daddy did ask "how he will know if you are age regressed?" The fact is, sometimes it will be obvious and sometimes it will not be, especially when you are in middle mode. The longer he is with you, the more obvious the patterns will become. For example, my wife calls me daddy when age regressed and doesn't while in adult mode. But even in adult mode, she can still be age regressed to about 12 sometimes... well, often. 

Once I realized that the signs were not always obvious, I decided to just treat me wife as if she were 11 years old, unless I know for sure she is at another age level. She also prefers that I treat her like an 11 year old, so this works out for both of us. The age 11 is mature enough to be responsible and complete complex tasks yet still needs the emotional support of daddy. Eleven is not quite a child, but also not an adolescent or adult yet either. An in-betweens stage. If she wants to stretch her wings, I give her whatever space she needs. If she needs more support, I am more supportive. I adjust my approach as needed, but I treat her as if she were 11 by default. I think it provides the most flexibility, so she can grow up or age regress depending on her mood or circumstances. 

When she age regresses to age 10 or younger, it usually is more obvious though. I adjust my approach as daddy as needed. If she is acting 8, I treat her as if she were 8. 

How you handle it depends on what type of lifestyle you want. My wife made me promise that she could be a child for life. She wants the lifestyle. Maybe you want the same, maybe you want something different. Maybe you want to be able to grow up a bit and still be able to be little sometimes. What type of relationship you build together is up to you and your partner. Much of this can be negotiated. It can also change over time.

It is good that you are exploring yourself and what you want. It will help you build the life you want. 

Edited Monday at 04:48 PM by Journey

[SleepyLynn]

53 minutes ago, Journey said:

How you handle it depends on what type of lifestyle you want. My wife made me promise that she could be a child for life. She wants the lifestyle. Maybe you want the same, maybe you want something different. Maybe you want to be able to grow up a bit and still be able to be little sometimes. What type of relationship you build together is up to you and your partner. Much of this can be negotiated. It can also change over time.

With my SO - he does alot of the things that fustrates me like cleaning/ cooking - while I do the things that frustrates him - making appointments/ handling fiancés and things like that - he doesn't want to be a caregiver or be in charge of decisions or things like that- he supports my little space and me exploring it but wants nothing to do with it outside that so that's why I have a Dom daddy and were still getting to know each other and im still learning and exploring.

For me - at least currently, I just wanna understand myself more- get comfortable with it and just kind of heal and learn to feel safe- and whenever i slip into my little side thats when i feel most safe- depending on who im around.

[LuckyLilac]

I think this thread broadly has reaffirmed to me that I don't regress, I'd describe my experiences as semi voluntary. In SFW space terms, I feel I'd be halfway between agere and agedre, I was frustrated by my research never showing any middle ground. And then while it's maybe blurred to outside the lines of kink when I'm alone, there is a unediable kink element within my polycule. Maybe that is something regressy, but not like anything I've come across so far.

[Journey]

1 hour ago, SleepyLynn said:

With my SO - he does alot of the things that fustrates me like cleaning/ cooking - while I do the things that frustrates him - making appointments/ handling fiancés and things like that - he doesn't want to be a caregiver or be in charge of decisions or things like that- he supports my little space and me exploring it but wants nothing to do with it outside that so that's why I have a Dom daddy and were still getting to know each other and im still learning and exploring.

For me - at least currently, I just wanna understand myself more- get comfortable with it and just kind of heal and learn to feel safe- and whenever i slip into my little side thats when i feel most safe- depending on who im around.

That is a great start. The more you understand yourself, the more you can unlock interesting sides of yourself and enjoy life to the fullest. 

My wife at some point figured out she wanted to remain a child for life and figured out what she wanted sexually and romantically, and she set out to make that happen. That was only possibly because she understood herself and then could communicate it to a potential partner (me in this case). We both agreed to make her dreams come true. 

You have your own journey and have a lot more to discover. I wish you luck. 

[SleepyLynn]

1 hour ago, LuckyLilac said:

I was frustrated by my research never showing any middle ground.

@LuckyLilac honestly I was frustrated with my research because everything I was finding didnt seem to fit- and there was so much gatekept information out there- toxic views and like stigma around it that i decided to just come here and ask and learn

 

 

23 minutes ago, Journey said:

That is a great start. The more you understand yourself, the more you can unlock interesting sides of yourself and enjoy life to the fullest. 

My wife at some point figured out she wanted to remain a child for life and figured out what she wanted sexually and romantically, and she set out to make that happen. That was only possibly because she understood herself and then could communicate it to a potential partner (me in this case). We both agreed to make her dreams come true. 

You have your own journey and have a lot more to discover. I wish you luck. 

@Journey thank you so much- again everything you have provided has given me alot of like insight because i see alot of similarities around the examples you had given and its super helpful- I appreciate your insight and thank you! :3 

[BabyPoppy]

9 hours ago, Journey said:

It caused issues in our marriage early on though. She did not like being the big sister at all. After she met my parents and learned of my childhood, and she became a bit more sympathetic. Both my sister and my wife think my parents caused a lot of trauma that I still deal with today.

But back to the topic.

There are so many ways to frame this. Many aspects to explore.

Tapping into your Inner Child

Another way to think about it is tapping into your inner child. In that sense you can act and behave like a child, but still be aware that you are an adult. In this case you are not age regressing, just tapping into your inner child. If you are fully aware that you are an adult, and you can think like an adult, then you might just be tapping into your inner child.

Emotion versus Logic

You can also frame it as instinct/emotion versus versus logic/reason. The younger a person is, or the younger a person age regresses to, the more emotional and instinctual they are. Less thinking, more emotions. For example, a baby doesn't think about wanting mommy; she just feels that she needs mommy. As you move up in age range, more logic and reason start taking hold, with most adults being driven mostly by logic and reason, holding their emotional self in check. This is one reason age regression is helpful to some people. They can tap into that more emotional and instinctual and primal personality again. 

When my wife age regresses, she basically turns into a person driven by emotions who responds to instincts, especially sexual instincts.  (For my wife, middle space is sexual and adult space is mostly asexual, probably because she taps into her more primal instincts when a middle.) She is submissive and does not even want to think or make decisions. She wants daddy to take care of her. She is relatively simple to take care of. Make her feel good and she is happy. But when she is in adult space, she is more ruled by logic and reason. Everything must make logical sense to her in adult space, whereas in middle space, as long as it feels good, she wants to do it. 

Mental Capacity

You can also look at mental capacity when considering whether you are age regressed or not. When my wife is age regressed, she has a one track mind racing with thoughts. Very similar to an 8 to 10 year old child. She asks a question, gets distracted with something else, and forgets what she asked. She only can focus on one thing at a time. If she is on her phone or watching anime, you might as well not be there. She gets overwhelmed easier too. But in adult space, she has the capacity for handling very complex tasks and is extremely smart and multi-faceted. So when I say she age regresses, I mean her mental capacity is that of a 10 year old, and anything that would stress out a 10 year old would stress her out. (I learned this the hard way, by the way. When she is age regressed, she can't handle adult issues very well. Giving her adult burdens gives her anxiety.)

If you have the same mental capacity of an adult while acting like a child, you are probably not age regressing. But it is also possible that you are age regressing and you don't realize it. After all, sometimes 12 year olds think they are all grown up, but they still have the maturity of a 12 year old.

Summary

There are so many different aspects here at play. In the end the label does not matter. It's more about self-discovery and figuring out what is right for you.

Look at some of the aspects that I mentioned and see if any apply to you. I would tell you to ask your daddy, but it sounds like he is still learning too. 

Thank you for this!

I have a brief story to share... 

I tend to stay in my logical/reasoning thinking a lot for work, parenting and adulting. When I was a younger adult, I had to do therapy to learn how to find the part of me that was emotional again. The problem for me was, that that part of me is very young, a baby, and wrapped up in severe, deep trauma that I didn't have words for, so after sessions of therapy, I always had my trusty trigonometry or chemistry books around to pull me back to my logical thinking so I could be a grown up again!

Early on, I scared a whole therapy group (including the 4 therapists) with a triggering event that threw me into a big emotional outburst and I don't remember any of it... it took a lot of mindfulness and self-regulating to come back from that one! 

Once I learned how to connect with my emotions better and balance the amount of logical/reasoning skills I need for everyday life with how much I can express my little self in safe ways throughout the day, I stopped having major emotional outbursts. I still slip a lot. Stress, anxiety, fear, lack for sleep, changes to my routine, and not taking my meds or eating healthy all set me up for disaster,  but as I learn to take care of me better and forgive myself, I am able to be in more control of my headspace so I can function as an adult. 

[Journey]

3 hours ago, BabyPoppy said:

Thank you for this!

I have a brief story to share... 

I tend to stay in my logical/reasoning thinking a lot for work, parenting and adulting. When I was a younger adult, I had to do therapy to learn how to find the part of me that was emotional again. The problem for me was, that that part of me is very young, a baby, and wrapped up in severe, deep trauma that I didn't have words for, so after sessions of therapy, I always had my trusty trigonometry or chemistry books around to pull me back to my logical thinking so I could be a grown up again!

Early on, I scared a whole therapy group (including the 4 therapists) with a triggering event that threw me into a big emotional outburst and I don't remember any of it... it took a lot of mindfulness and self-regulating to come back from that one! 

Once I learned how to connect with my emotions better and balance the amount of logical/reasoning skills I need for everyday life with how much I can express my little self in safe ways throughout the day, I stopped having major emotional outbursts. I still slip a lot. Stress, anxiety, fear, lack for sleep, changes to my routine, and not taking my meds or eating healthy all set me up for disaster,  but as I learn to take care of me better and forgive myself, I am able to be in more control of my headspace so I can function as an adult. 

You're welcome.

And it is not surprising that you don't remember it. If you age regress far enough, you may not be able to remember. Or your mind could simply be blocking it out since it was too traumatic. I don't remember most of my childhood because I mentally blocked out the trauma. And there was a lot of it. 

That reminds me of how I age regress. I did not realize it until fairly recently, but I also age regress, especially when I am tired or under extreme stress.

Unfortunately I typically age regress to a whiny little boy, typically saying something along the lines of "but I don't wannnnnaaaaaa!" with a usually unspoken "leave me alone."

Now, looking back, I recognize it. I am sure it is related to trauma as a child. The 4 or 5 year old trying to break up mommy and daddy's fights bravely standing between them and pleading with them to stop. My first memories of my parents, by the way. The 7 year old forced to take care of his 3 year old younger sister for several years after their divorce and we were left home as a latchkey kid to fend for ourselves while mom worked... and dated new men. She'd leave before we woke up and got home just before bed to feed us some cold hot dogs. I walked my sister to day care or kindergarten and then walked to school. Then I would pick her up afterwards too. I was forced to grow up fast.

Now I recognize when I start to age regress. Certain thinking patterns start to emerge and if I hear myself thinking certain thoughts, I realize I am probably age regressing or about to age regress. So I can now identity it by the thinking process I start to engage in.

I either allow myself to stay there for a bit or pull myself out of it. That is not easy if I am physically and mentally tired though, which is usually when I regress. When I am too tired to put the strong adult face on.

As a side note for others out there, that may be a way you can identify if you are age regressing. Are there certain though patterns that emerge?

Since childhood was not a fun place for me, regressing is more stressful than refreshing. Basically I had severe stress as a child, and when severe stress comes in adulthood, I revert back to my childhood coping strategies, which were effective then (to a certain extent) but are not effective now. My wife, on the other hand, is happiest when age regressed. She had her trauma too, but overall her childhood was a fun place for her. Going back there is an escape from the pressures of being an adult. A bit different than how I experience age regression.

The result, she wants to stay age regressed as much as possible, and I want to avoid age regressing as much as possible. 

We make an interesting pair.

[SleepyLynn]

On 9/30/2025 at 12:27 AM, Journey said:

As a side note for others out there, that may be a way you can identify if you are age regressing. Are there certain though patterns that emerge?

I'm not sure- but I have realized that when my partner asks me what I want to watch and suggests things like anime or certain cartoons like "teen titans, scooby doo" or anything meant for an older audience between like 8-14  I get frustrated because it feels too overstimulating, and I want to watch something more low Maintenace, less loud- familiar and nostalgic  and find myself wanting things i Used to watch when I was like 3-6 like The big comfy cough, good night moon, the old peter rabbit cartoon and when we watch stuff like that my frustration / overwhelming feelings go away - I feel content, at peace. And I only realized today that in these cases I was feeling little everytime its happened.

and I know I only feel frustrated during those times because I don't feel big - because when I feel big, I love anime, Scooby doo, teen titans  and im never agaisnt them. 

I also have been told by my dom daddy that when I am tired I go little- and turn into a whiney little thing that doesnt want to sleep and get kinda stubborn about it. I also get really whiney and say things like "leave me alone" if people pick on me a little too hard. 

Ive been told I have bratty tendencies / slightly bratty as well especially when im in little mode because I'll threaten my dom daddy with like putting glitter in his shoes or pockets :3 

but as for certain thought patterns specifically? I dunno- I know when I get upset sometimes I want cuddles with my partner or i think "I want daddy" or  "I want my bunny/plushie/blankie" Or sometimes its specific friend I feel safe around, i crave a sense of security and safety when im upset.
 

Edited Wednesday at 04:47 AM by SleepyLynn
forgot to add stuff

[LuckyLilac]

Then again, feeling "stuck" in a headspace absolutely happens to me, it's just that I can mask and safely function as an adult all the while. Usually if I've been really stressed and stuck in littlespace until my mind recenters. I say that because I woke up with lingering middlespace from yesterday, probably from sleeping in those clothes. Changing into normal clothes feels oppressive, like having comfort ripped away before I'm ready. I don't think I can choose to turn this off, it'll fade on its own, but I can still function all the same.

[Journey]

2 hours ago, LuckyLilac said:

Then again, feeling "stuck" in a headspace absolutely happens to me, it's just that I can mask and safely function as an adult all the while. Usually if I've been really stressed and stuck in littlespace until my mind recenters. I say that because I woke up with lingering middlespace from yesterday, probably from sleeping in those clothes. Changing into normal clothes feels oppressive, like having comfort ripped away before I'm ready. I don't think I can choose to turn this off, it'll fade on its own, but I can still function all the same.

One possible way to look at it is middle space is somewhere between little and big. I can give two stories, one from my wife being in middle space, and me as an actual child.

When my wife is in the upper end of middle space, let's say around 11 to 13, she is perfectly capable of doing all adult things and even may looks like an adult to outside observers. But, emotionally, she still is age regressed and adult responsibilities are more stressful for her. Luckily her job does not require her to make many decisions on her own and her boss tells her what needs to be done. That reduces stress for her. But she can pass as an adult and she can complete some very complex technical tasks and is able to even create very complex systems. So her intellectual capabilities are all there. She is very smart. But emotionally, it can cause anxiety and stress if we don't create an environment where she can relax afterwards. That is probably why after work she just wants daddy to cook dinner and wants to watch anime. Daddy even decides what's for dinner since she does not even want to make decisions anymore. It's an escape from all of the stress at the job and it reduces her stress and anxiety.

Or I could look at my own childhood when I was actually 10 years old and had to take care of my younger sister since my single mother was never around. Sure I could be the big brother for my 6 year old sister and take care of her while mom was not there, but emotionally it was very tough on me. It was especially hard since I had no emotional support whatsoever. 

I am not sure how other people experience middle space, but my impression is that for some people it is an in-between age where you are not quite an adult and not quite a child. Intellectually capable of adult tasks, but not necessarily emotionally ready for adult tasks... or emotionally ready for short durations, but need a break once and awhile otherwise it gets too stressful. 

[Journey]

9 hours ago, SleepyLynn said:

I'm not sure- but I have realized that when my partner asks me what I want to watch and suggests things like anime or certain cartoons like "teen titans, scooby doo" or anything meant for an older audience between like 8-14  I get frustrated because it feels too overstimulating, and I want to watch something more low Maintenace, less loud- familiar and nostalgic  and find myself wanting things i Used to watch when I was like 3-6 like The big comfy cough, good night moon, the old peter rabbit cartoon and when we watch stuff like that my frustration / overwhelming feelings go away - I feel content, at peace. And I only realized today that in these cases I was feeling little everytime its happened.

and I know I only feel frustrated during those times because I don't feel big - because when I feel big, I love anime, Scooby doo, teen titans  and im never agaisnt them. 

I also have been told by my dom daddy that when I am tired I go little- and turn into a whiney little thing that doesnt want to sleep and get kinda stubborn about it. I also get really whiney and say things like "leave me alone" if people pick on me a little too hard. 

Ive been told I have bratty tendencies / slightly bratty as well especially when im in little mode because I'll threaten my dom daddy with like putting glitter in his shoes or pockets :3 

but as for certain thought patterns specifically? I dunno- I know when I get upset sometimes I want cuddles with my partner or i think "I want daddy" or  "I want my bunny/plushie/blankie" Or sometimes its specific friend I feel safe around, i crave a sense of security and safety when im upset.
 

It does not have to be a specific thought pattern. That is just what clues me in that I might be age regressing. I do say the adult versions of those when in adult mode, so it does not always indicate that I am in little mode. It's just something that I notice, which allows me to embrace little space or shift back to adult space. For other people, it may be different.

But everything else you said is an example of a pattern. Something that typically only happens in little space. 

You can be in little or middle space and be aware you are there, and choose to stay there... or choose to shift to adult space or an older middle space. Awareness gives you more control. It also allows you to embrace it more.

When we were courting, my wife told me that she always felt like she was around 14 years old even though she was in her mid-twenties. She was aware that she was more like a child than an adult. She was also aware that she liked being a child more than being an adult. She was also aware of her sexuality and what turned her on. This awareness allowed her to find someone like me and then ask me if she could be a child for life, since she is happier as a child.

When I said yes, she almost immediately age regressed to about 8 to 10 while chatting with me since I was safe and accepting of her and let her be whatever age she felt like. When we first met online, from my perspective, it was 8. When I first went to her country, it was 10. When we married, it was still 10. Now 20 years later, it's around 11 to 13 most of the time. (Although I recently discovered that she will age regress back to 10 while on vacation if I take away all adult responsibilities and am daddy 24/7.)

I think my wife's awareness makes her age regression more intense. I also think that if all adult responsibilities were taken away, she would  go back to being around 8 to 10 most of the time. I actually expect that when she retires, she will go back to that age. That seems to be her happy space. 

Just some things to consider. 

[SleepyLynn]

6 minutes ago, Journey said:

Awareness gives you more control. It also allows you to embrace it more.

Yeah - that's the part I am working on - is being aware, and it's difficult because it feels so natural and integrated into my personality and responses that I never know or realize it's happening unless I feel really little and small. 

I was talking to a friend last night who used to be a CG and has experience with being around someone who age regresses and he told me- that he knew I was an age regressor based off how I get sometimes, and I asked him for an example and he told me that I'll get really quiet, more so than usual, and that my voice sounds different and how I act. 

So it's kind of helpful (at least to me) knowing that example - or having it pointed out because it helps me be more aware of it - like.. I know a lot of times I'll tell my friend or my dom daddy "head empty-no thought" but it's not the same feeling as when I disassociate <-- that always tends to be more negative and cold but the head empty feels like ... mmm like there is no thought or worries, just content and happy and it always seems to happen when with my dom daddy or friend. Sometimes around my partner too - but I actively try not to be a little too often around him since he doesn't want to be in that position, so a lot of times it slips out with my friend, and getting more comfortable letting it slip and happen around my dom daddy.
 

30 minutes ago, Journey said:

But everything else you said is an example of a pattern. Something that typically only happens in a little space. 

I think again this is the tricker part for me at least- because i don't really notice or pay attention when it happens and only kinda realize it more so after then before hand - like last night I was waiting for my dom daddy to get home because he promised me a bedtime story and I stayed up waiting- and during that time I was getting really tired and I remember wanting my plushie pankitty and getting pouting because she was in the plushie net, and then i looked to my bunny doll and felt guilty because I typically sleep with her. And i remember laying down and mumbles something about my blankie. Looking back at it now when im more awake and alert and clear headed- I realize "oh I was in little space" vs that moment when it was happening- i didnt know or realize thats what i was in- just kinda knew what I wanted. But sometimes when im in normal headspace - I still want pankitty because i like to squish her- or maybe thats my little side? AHHH- i dunnoooooooo - but i do know that in both big headspace and little headspace i love really soft plush things and my instict is to squish them- i think squishing pankitty deff sends me into my little headspace because i get very aggressively playful about it lol 
 

20 minutes ago, Journey said:

I also think that if all adult responsibilities were taken away, she would go back to being around 8 to 10 most of the time.

I felt this deeply- not the same age range but the "if all adult responsibilities were taken away" part because my partner takes a lot of the adult responsibilities like chores, cooking, working ( I stay home bc im mentally and physically unable to work and on disability) so a lot of the time I don't have to be an adult unless he needs me to handle calling places, setting up appointments, handling bills, or when his anxiety acts up and needs comfort/an anchor.  It lets me be able to move at my own pace with chores too- like if im having a good day, with extra energy I'll do the dishes or laundry or make dinner - im given that option of not having to do it so I can do it if / when I want too.
 

 

40 minutes ago, Journey said:

Just some things to consider. 

Honestly - I feel like ive learned a lot from these responses 

[Journey]

56 minutes ago, SleepyLynn said:

I think again this is the tricker part for me at least- because i don't really notice or pay attention when it happens and only kinda realize it more so after then before hand

I also think there are levels of awareness. My wife knows she prefers being a child, and she likes the same things a child would like, and she is perfectly aware of that part. But, I don't think she actually is aware of when she age regresses. To her it just feels normal. After all, how often do 8 year olds think about being 8 years old? They just are being 8. 

In fact, depending on how far you age regress, the entire concept of age regression may be too much of an advanced topic for you to even think about. For example, if you are age regressed to a toddler, it is unlikely you will realize it in the moment since that is not something a toddler would think about.

The reason why I think this is because during our recent vacation I decided to go full daddy mode since she has been stressed at work and still has anxiety attacks sometimes. I basically went into full parent mode and took over all adult responsibilities, even things like shopping and deciding what is for dinner. She could play all day and make no decisions at all. I also purposefully took on a more authoritative tone like a father would (she is submissive, so she likes me to be dominant). I basically recreated an environment a 10 year old would typically have.

Normally she hovers around 11 to 13, but to my surprise the 8 to 10 year old was back. I don't think she even realized it until the end of the week, where her behavior seemed to even surprise herself. 

She responded to me like an 8 year old, then paused with surprise on her face, and then smiled and continued acting like a child.

In fact, I think the realization made her briefly jump out of middle space... but she decided to go back in... or at least decided to continue acting like a child.

We both were surprised that the 8 year old from 20 years ago showed up again. 

She has not been in the 8 year old space for years, yet I created an environment where it came back out. When in adult mode, her logical side realized what I had been doing all week during our vacation, and I could tell that she was touched that I would do that for her. Lots more affection and appreciation from her since then.

I think it is easier to realize you are being a child than it is to realize you are age regressed to a child, if that makes any sense.

Like you might know you are 8, but not know that you are age regressed to 8, since in your mind, you are just 8 in that moment. I don't know how to explain it better. Hopefully that makes sense.

So I think there is a difference between having a general level of awareness and knowing it is happening in the moment. 

But, if you know that you act like a child most of the time, you can plan ahead so you have a safe space to age regress if you do age regress.

Maybe other people can give you their experience as a little or middle, but this is the impression I get observing my wife, and also when I age regress. I typically don't know I age regressed until after the fact.

[Journey]

1 hour ago, SleepyLynn said:

I think again this is the tricker part for me at least- because i don't really notice or pay attention when it happens and only kinda realize it more so after then before hand

I also want to add that being aware of your age regression may actually take you out of the age regression and pull you back into adult space.

For example, with my wife, if I talk about her being a child or me being daddy too much or we engage in any kind of role play, she does not age regress since she thinking about her age.

But if I create a safe environment and act like a daddy, she just slips into middle space as if that is just her normal self... which it pretty much is.

So she is aware that she is being a child, but she also has no awareness of age regressing.

If that makes sense.

Maybe because role play is more intellectual since you think about being a child, but age regression is more emotional since you age regress to the point where you become a child.

Edited Wednesday at 04:51 PM by Journey

[SleepyLynn]

20 minutes ago, Journey said:

In fact, depending on how far you age regress, the entire concept of age regression may be too much of an advanced topic for you to even think about. For example, if you are age regressed to a toddler, it is unlikely you will realize it in the moment since that is not something a toddler would think about.

this makes alot of sense - I know go little- its really little- im drawn to things like sippy cups- snack cups, i want plushies, like coloring, comfy shows that arent over stimulating or to loud - im very simple, giggly, playful, wanna show off my accomplishments like if i finish a puzzle- or want my partner to play with my slime with me or i make babbling noises - my words go to "gib" "no want" whiney - i like things a toddler would like  or act more like a toddler- but in that moment i dont think about age i just am focused on what i want 

its more so after the fact- and i know when im in these moments if my partner kisses me on the lips i feel alot of anxiety and kinda get pulled out of being that way and it takes a few moments and then im kinda back to being my adult self and apologizing for my reaction to being kissed

so it makes alot of sense to me. 

[BabyPoppy]

@Journey 

I've been following your posts here and I am truly sorry for all that you went through in life. I also want to say that it is wonderful that you have overcome so much and have found happiness with your wife/middle! That is a wonderful thing to find in life! I am happy for you!

My littlespace is different and also is from a place of deep trauma. I found littlespace separately from my trauma healing journey then discovered that they were connected and as I continue with therapy, I learn more and more about how littlespace for me is more about who I am than a place to go as a choice.  

I don't want to add a trigger warning about trauma, so I will be very general, but my trauma started extremely young, toddler years and was severe, compound and long-term. It varied over the years, and many beautiful people stepped in to help build resilience in my life, but the pain and fear were set. I repeated established patterns of abuse by finding similar relationships as an adult and didn't realize what I was doing. I had no idea how deep this trauma was and why I was struggling so much. It has impacted me in more ways than even I know, but there is so much hope! 

For me, I found littlespace, or rather babyspace 🥰 I found a place where I finally feel safe, loved, cared for, seen, heard, accepted, valued, respected, safe, accepted, loved, calm, safe, loved, accepted, enough, forgiven, trusted. 

Where my sillies are not too silly, and my sadness isn't too messy.

Where it is ok to watch singing princess movies over and over and over and over and over and over....

Or come home from work, put on a onesie and diapie, get my paci, stuffies and blanky, and color all night!

I found peace in littlespace by accepting it was ok to just be me....

It is still really hard to let myself feel around others. People are still very scary, in a bad way... at least most of them are, but I am learning to accept that sometimes I need to open up and trust. 

I tend to run when I am feeling safe because, bad people make you feel safe before they hurt you, so I am fighting that battle too. One day I hope to reach a point that I feel safe with someone in person, like face-to-face, but that's a long way off... 

I am typically in a state of fluid age regression where it can happen whenever with minimal prompts, but some types of stress keep littlespace away and others bring it on.... 

Like all things in life, it takes balance and harmony... You need to find what will meet the needs of your life so you can be able to function as an adult, because we are all adults, too, but also find what we need to truly live! littlespace is what makes life beautiful for me!

[MissAnna]

I can honestly relate to this topic 100%, being a previous Dom I always feel like I am in imposter mode all the time

I don't feel deserving of being little nor do I feel that I am qualified to be a middle.

But when I do have those calm moments it's the most sweetest experience I have ever felt. I find myself to allow my daddy to be in control more and allow him to make all the decisions. The majority of my time I'm spent in submissive mode and I catch myself still going into Mommy Dom mode as well.

I find that I slip into middle role more often if I color, cuddle with Mr Bunny or even watch silly cartoons. Its a beautiful feeling and one that I hope to stay in longer one day. 

And how wonderful for you to have met up with your Daddy I hope you two had a beautiful time together.

[SleepyLynn]

59 minutes ago, MissAnna said:

I can honestly relate to this topic 100%, being a previous Dom I always feel like I am in imposter mode all the time

I don't feel deserving of being little nor do I feel that I am qualified to be a middle.

But when I do have those calm moments it's the most sweetest experience I have ever felt. I find myself to allow my daddy to be in control more and allow him to make all the decisions. The majority of my time I'm spent in submissive mode and I catch myself still going into Mommy Dom mode as well.

I find that I slip into middle role more often if I color, cuddle with Mr Bunny or even watch silly cartoons. Its a beautiful feeling and one that I hope to stay in longer one day. 

And how wonderful for you to have met up with your Daddy I hope you two had a beautiful time together.

I'm happy you're finding your space and learning to feel comfortable in it  ;-; I hope you can get to a point where you can stick in those spaces for longer periods of time - when i forst started exploring littlespace, i was kinda stressing out about feeling like an imposter too- like i didnt belong in the community because of alot of misinformation or toxic/gatekept information so this post - and talking to everyone has really helped a lot! and i feel like ive learned so much- and learned more about myself through this post then i was able to figure out on my own.

and thank you ;-; we did!

[Journey]

7 hours ago, MissAnna said:

I can honestly relate to this topic 100%, being a previous Dom I always feel like I am in imposter mode all the time

I don't feel deserving of being little nor do I feel that I am qualified to be a middle.

You are deserving. You deserve to be yourself. You deserve happiness. You deserve a safe space to enjoy life.

You can be a Dom and you can also be a Sub. You can be a Caregiver and you can also be a Little and/or Middle. Not necessarily at the same time, but you can Switch roles as you see fit. Nothing wrong with that. If nothing else, it unlocks more ways you can express yourself. 

If you are a Switch, you are not an imposter. Some people are Switches. Some people, like me, started as a Sub but then was forced to become Dom, so now I am both and enjoy both. Some people started Dom and then discovered their more Sub side. Some people prefer staying Dom or Sub all of the time. We all have our own unique journeys. And that is okay. 

[MissAnna]

1 hour ago, Journey said:

You are deserving. You deserve to be yourself. You deserve happiness. You deserve a safe space to enjoy life.

You can be a Dom and you can also be a Sub. You can be a Caregiver and you can also be a Little and/or Middle. Not necessarily at the same time, but you can Switch roles as you see fit. Nothing wrong with that. If nothing else, it unlocks more ways you can express yourself. 

If you are a Switch, you are not an imposter. Some people are Switches. Some people, like me, started as a Sub but then was forced to become Dom, so now I am both and enjoy both. Some people started Dom and then discovered their more Sub side. Some people prefer staying Dom or Sub all of the time. We all have our own unique journeys. And that is okay. 

Thank you dear friend for these beautiful sweet words of yours 

I'm trying to learn more about myself and understand who I truly am meant to be 

[MissNMTX]

Okay, so I had a. Epiphany about this last night. As I previously mentioned I don't really age regress. Of course, I am a middle and that undoubtedly makes "blending in" easier. I realized last night that small things like how I do my makeup or having a good skincare routine are very "middle" things of me. I think because my middle/princess space is the age you would start showing an interest in those things anyway.

On a more serious note, just to echo previous thoughts. Everyone deserves happiness and safe love! Safe in all the ways. As long as what you do isn't harmful to yourself or others, as long as you are taking care of yourself, the biggest thing really is just be yourself. Generally speaking, a happy person is a good person.