Intense Feelings in New Dynamic

[Cranius]

Hey ya’ll!

Life has been busy! I had a couple failed play partners, and found a mommy overseas (I am in the US, she is in Europe).

TL;DR— I have had thoughts and feelings of “needing” my mommy, an intense desire for closeness and connection. Nothing is wrong— I have communicated this to my mommy and it is well received. Is this different from traditional infatuation? How does it comport with your experience?

We have known eachother about two weeks. We met on Fet, and met with the understanding that I am a little boy and she is a mommy. So, our past two weeks have centered around that.

In this time, I have had intense feelings of affection and what I will call “neediness” — an intense desire for closeness and words of affection or praise. I am not upset if this feeling is not fulfilled, but it is intense. I told her that I felt that I needed her, and she received this with joy. 

Today, with some help from lovely folks here, I confessed to her that, although overwhelmingly positive, the intensity of my feelings is abnormal for me. This led to some very healthy and grounded discussion about how we want the dynamic to look, and what our wants and needs were.

It had sublime effects— I feel closer to her, and that we have begun laying the foundation we need to combat the challenges of a LDR. There are still things we’re ironing out, but we at least know the basics (both of us are solo poly, daily texters, etc). 

On some level, I may just be overthinking, but the “needing” of my mommy is a new sensation for me. Anxious-avoidantly attached, it is difficult for me to need anyone— I pride myself on self reliance in almost every aspect. Except here. 

Can anyone else relate to the intensity or nature of feeling “needy” toward their CG? Why or why not?

Liebe und Umarmungen,

Joey