Small town or big city

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Hi everyone, hope you’re all doing well 🌸🌻🌼
 

I have  pretty much lived my whole life in big cities — the noise, the crowds, the constant go-go-go. It’s all I’ve ever known. But lately? All I want to do is pack up and move to a small town somewhere quiet, settle down like some old retired soul, and just… breathe for once.

 

Maybe it’s because I read way too many small-town romance books (you know the ones — cozy diners, friendly neighbors, that “everyone knows everyone” kind of charm). I swear, they’ve totally romanticized the idea for me. In my head, I’m already living in a little house with a porch, sipping tea and reading a book. 

 

But I know real life isn’t a Hallmark movie. I mean, every place has its ups and downs, right? City life definitely has its perks — everyone minds their own business, there’s always something to do, and no one really cares what you’re up to (which can be nice). But at the same time, that “everyone’s doing their own thing” vibe can feel pretty isolating.

 

That’s what draws me to the idea of small-town living — the sense of community. People who actually know each other, say hi when you walk by, maybe even check in on you once in a while. It sounds… comforting, you know?

 

So now I’m curious — for those of you who actually live in a small town, what’s it really like? What do you love about it, and what do you not love so much? I’d honestly love to know the real deal beyond the romance-novel version that lives rent-free in my head. 
 

Love bubbles 

[Lil Baby Stoner]

Coming from someone who only grew up in big cities and moved to a small college town I can honestly say this if you would have told me 5 years ago I’d be living where I live now I’d be like your fucking lying no I ain’t lol look at me now I love my small town I even made my own veggie garden and learned to make bread and plus I love my small town everyone knows everyone even if you don’t you seen them somewhere a lot like swear had a Walmart worker come up to me and be like my middle tiny human is growing up so fast they remember when they was just born I did hate it at first cause the nearest target was almost 2 hours away we only have like Walmart and Krogers and one small chain grocery store and you gotta drive if you wanna do fun stuff and everyone is in everyone business lol 

Edited October 10 by Lil Baby Stoner

[MissNMTX]

I've lived in both small towns and larger cities. For me, I think I like larger cities a bit more. I think there's and ease of access to it small towns don't have.

I think as far as building a sense of community, that's entirely up to you and can be done anywhere. You have to build your own village.

I had a friend pass about 6 weeks ago now. She was born and raised in Philadelphia and our town here has maybe 140,000 people. One of the major themes of her service was how she brought people from all over and all walks of life into her circle.

I really do think it's up to you to make your own village though. I had/have a great village in larger places and I have a great village here in a smaller place. You are absolutely right that you built up and idealized place in your head. Numerically there may be more crime and drugs here etc. However, I also believe if you want a certain type of village for yourself. You can make it happen.

Edited October 11 by MissNMTX
Typo

[Lil_K47]

so I grew up in Washington Pennsylvania, right after I graduated high school I moved to Tazewell Virginia, which is a little blimp on the map! lol 

It was a pretty big culture shock! Like literally everybody talks to you everywhere you go and I wasn't used to that! People randomly wave at you for no reason. lol  the closest Walmart was 20 minutes away the mall was 40!    

From Tazewell I moved to a little bit bigger city in Virginia but not as big as where I grew up at. Now that I've lived here for 20+ years, I don't think I could go back to a big city. 

I mean sure it's nice to have everything at your fingertips, but there is something to be said for actually getting to know your neighbors and your community. 

When my mom passed away the outpouring of love from our church and our neighbors was over overwhelming! I swear the community fed me and my dad for six months after the funeral! 

i've met the majority of my best friends through work, where we're more like a family than coworkers . and a random neighbor moving in across the street from me turned out to be one of the best things to happen! 

honestly I just think it's all a matter of what you get used to. 

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On 10/11/2025 at 12:45 AM, Lil Baby Stoner said:

Coming from someone who only grew up in big cities and moved to a small college town I can honestly say this if you would have told me 5 years ago I’d be living where I live now I’d be like your fucking lying no I ain’t lol look at me now I love my small town I even made my own veggie garden and learned to make bread and plus I love my small town everyone knows everyone even if you don’t you seen them somewhere a lot like swear had a Walmart worker come up to me and be like my middle tiny human is growing up so fast they remember when they was just born I did hate it at first cause the nearest target was almost 2 hours away we only have like Walmart and Krogers and one small chain grocery store and you gotta drive if you wanna do fun stuff and everyone is in everyone business lol 

Oh my freaking days, a literal dream. The fact that you are able to make homemade fresh products with produce from your own garden is everything. Theoretically speaking, the concept of everyone knowing everyone sounds so nice. It can feel lonely in the city at times, and I wish people were more friendly and inviting; rather, everyone just sticks to themselves. Thanks for sharing your experience, though. I have romanticized the heck out of small-town living and wish to experience it for myself for a year or two. 🥰

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On 10/11/2025 at 12:54 AM, MissNMTX said:

I've lived in both small towns and larger cities. For me, I think I like larger cities a bit more. I think there's and ease of access to it small towns don't have.

I think as far as building a sense of community, that's entirely up to you and can be done anywhere. You have to build your own village.

I had a friend pass about 6 weeks ago now. She was born and raised in Philadelphia and our town here has maybe 140,000 people. One of the major themes of her service was how she brought people from all over and all walks of life into her circle.

I really do think it's up to you to make your own village though. I had/have a great village in larger places and I have a great village here in a smaller place. You are absolutely right that you built up and idealized place in your head. Numerically there may be more crime and drugs here etc. However, I also believe if you want a certain type of village for yourself. You can make it happen.

Hiya, thanks for sharing your experience, and I am sorry about your loss. And you are absolutely right; it is up to me to make my own little community, if that is something that I really want. There are plenty of reasons as to why I do like living in the city, though; like you said, it's so easy to get from one place to another. I am not the best at making friends and am rather shy, so it's not that I would approach the first next person that seems nice to me. I have this idea in my head that in small towns, people just strike up convos with you easily and you just get naturally involved with the town/village. I have to step out of my comfort zone a little bit more, and just find my own little village. 🌸

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On 10/11/2025 at 3:27 AM, Lil_K47 said:

so I grew up in Washington Pennsylvania, right after I graduated high school I moved to Tazewell Virginia, which is a little blimp on the map! lol 

It was a pretty big culture shock! Like literally everybody talks to you everywhere you go and I wasn't used to that! People randomly wave at you for no reason. lol  the closest Walmart was 20 minutes away the mall was 40!    

From Tazewell I moved to a little bit bigger city in Virginia but not as big as where I grew up at. Now that I've lived here for 20+ years, I don't think I could go back to a big city. 

I mean sure it's nice to have everything at your fingertips, but there is something to be said for actually getting to know your neighbors and your community. 

When my mom passed away the outpouring of love from our church and our neighbors was over overwhelming! I swear the community fed me and my dad for six months after the funeral! 

i've met the majority of my best friends through work, where we're more like a family than coworkers . and a random neighbor moving in across the street from me turned out to be one of the best things to happen! 

honestly I just think it's all a matter of what you get used to. 

Hiyaa, I am sorry for your loss. It is so heartwarming that the whole community came together after your mother passed, and how they took care of you all. It is the idea of community that makes me like the idea of living in a small town. It seems like everyone just gets along (or the majority of the people) and it seems like a dream. I think the reason as to why I'd want to live in a small town is because I have moved so much in my life. I have never stayed in one place for too long and it was always a big city. I think that I want some stability now, and that I want to be surrounded by people that all know each other and just build a life there; just settle in. Thanks for sharing your experience tho 🌸

[sheepie uwu]

Neither. I prefer small cities. They're the best of both worlds.