Talking to my Daddy

[LittleBit0829]

My Daddy is so amazing, we were doing this for awhile B4 we knew what this was 😂 been married a few months short of 15 years, he is my everything and so amazing! He has always told me he loves my funness, light personality, my love for bright colors and my ability to do me no matter what anyone thinks! He has recently started asking me how little do I want to feel and I'm here for it! I love it so much, but it has opened some doors that I want a stuffie, some Little jammies, a paci, and a special blanket to snuggle with that Daddy gets for me that is super girly and fun... But I'm so scared to ask him for some reason? I have a past, ex husband abuse issues, bio dad issues and being so small for Daddy is amazing but it has triggered some things that he has been so amazing working thru with me and loving me more for opening up to him. But why am I so scared to share with him I want some official Little stuff?

[MasterPhotog]

49 minutes ago, LittleBit0829 said:

My Daddy is so amazing, we were doing this for awhile B4 we knew what this was 😂 been married a few months short of 15 years, he is my everything and so amazing! He has always told me he loves my funness, light personality, my love for bright colors and my ability to do me no matter what anyone thinks! He has recently started asking me how little do I want to feel and I'm here for it! I love it so much, but it has opened some doors that I want a stuffie, some Little jammies, a paci, and a special blanket to snuggle with that Daddy gets for me that is super girly and fun... But I'm so scared to ask him for some reason? I have a past, ex husband abuse issues, bio dad issues and being so small for Daddy is amazing but it has triggered some things that he has been so amazing working thru with me and loving me more for opening up to him. But why am I so scared to share with him I want some official Little stuff?

Given how wonderful you've described your relationship with your Daddy, and the fact that he’s asked you a direct question, it makes sense to respond with honesty and openness. That said, it's completely understandable that his question has stirred up some difficult memories from past experiences with your ex-husband and biological father, so your hesitation is valid and completely human.

To help you navigate your feelings and still respond authentically, here are a few gentle ways you might consider framing your answer:

Gentle, Reflective Starters:

"I want to be honest with you, but I need a little space to process how I’m feeling first."

"This question brings up a lot for me emotionally, and I’d love to share, but I may need a bit of patience as I sort through it."

"Can I share my answer in pieces? It’s not simple for me, but I want to be transparent."

Emotionally Aware Responses:

"I care about you deeply, and because this question touches some old wounds, I want to be sure I answer thoughtfully."

"I’m feeling a bit vulnerable, but I know you’re someone I can be real with, so here goes…"

"My first instinct is to shut down, but I know that’s from my past. I want to do things differently with you."

Boundary-Respecting Yet Open Responses:

"I'm not sure I have a full answer yet, but I'm open to talking about it if you're okay with a bit of uncertainty."

"I want to be honest, but I also want to be careful not to bring old pain into our current connection. Can we take it slow?"

"Would it be okay if I gave you my thoughts now, and we revisited this again later once I’ve had more time to reflect?"

These kinds of responses can help you honour both your current relationship and your emotional history. Hope it helps and best of luck!
 

[LittleBit0829]

MasterPhotog that is really helpful! Thank you for this ideas! I'm working on getting the courage to talk to him!

[MasterPhotog]

@LittleBit0829 Sure, take your time and respond only when you're ready and feel strong enough to take the first step. Remember, you can also respond by email or text. Best of luck! 

[MissNMTX]

I truly thought your post was lovely. Really the only thing to do is just answer him.

Personally, I like to know why I want things. I like to know for myself before I would bring things to any D type in my life. For instance, your example of wanting your Daddy to buy you a blanket I would LOVE, BECAUSE  it would mean my Daddy was A. Thinking of me. B. Knew that I love comfy, cozy, warm things and C. That he wanted to cuddle with me. 

It seems from your post you might like to know the why or because too and that's what you're struggling with.

My advice, get what you need and figure out the because as you go. Especially since you have such an open partner and you seem to do well at both exploring and growing together.

Edited Saturday at 01:37 AM by MissNMTX

[Journey]

If he has been married to you for 15 years and has been paying attention, he probably knows or suspects more than you think. 

For example, my wife and I have been married 20 years now, and when my wife starts acting like she is 8 to 10 years old (or younger), I know almost immediately since it is so different than adult mode or 12 year old mode. Instead of saying anything, I quietly encourage her to be herself, and start treating her as if she were that age. I may not say anything, but I know and I even change my behavior to suit her age regression level. 

If he asks you outright, then he may just be asking you what you want. Or maybe he wants to see how self-aware you are. (Some people are not self-aware of their own age regression.) Maybe he wants you to be more self-aware if you are not. Maybe he wants to understand you more so he can be a better husband. Maybe he wants to share some secrets with you too.

My wife and I often use jokes to break the ice. We'll say something in a joking manner and see what their response is. If the response is positive, then we can go deeper, but if the reaction is negative, then we can say it is just a joke to save face.

Also, you don't need to reveal everything if you don't want to. You can discuss what you want now and in the future without bringing up the past. 

My wife has never revealed what happened to her as a child or in previous relationships, and I don't think she ever will. I have been married to her long enough and have talked to enough women to have a pretty good idea of what may have happened. I wish she would tell me, but if she doesn't, I respect her privacy on the matter. But we do talk about the present and the future since that is something we can build together. 

So, he may know more than you think, again, assuming he has been paying attention. And he may be asking because he already suspects you would prefer being a little. He's just giving you an opening to open up to him about it.

I remember when I asked my wife that when we were courting. She was in her mid-twenties at the time. She asked me if she could call me daddy, I said yes. And I noticed that she really got into calling me daddy and being cute. Later, I joked that when we got married, maybe I should just treat her like child instead of an adult, and she wound up admitting that she not only wanted to remain a child, but wanted to remain a child for life. She even made me promise her that I would let her be a child for life. If I had never asked that question, she probably would not have been willing to open up to me. 

Take your time and speak when you are comfortable. And you can start slow and only reveal a bit at a time, and do it in a joking manner, that way you can gauge his responses if you are unsure. 

Also, opening up is a two way street. This may also be your opportunity to understand him more. And when a loving couple in a healthy relationship knows each other more, that unlocks a lot more pleasure in the relationship, because each of you knows how to make each other truly happy. 

[LittleBit0829]

Journey, that's some good info! My Daddy knows me well, better then I know me most days! He is patient and kind, and never gets angry with me...I have shared most my past with him but trusting him more on this dynamic has triggered some things that we have had to work thru... He knows when I've been triggered before I put it together usually...

[Journey]

Sounds like an opportunity to heal some old wounds and to get closer to your daddy.

It can be hard to fully trust someone, especially when you were hurt before. I've dealt with my own trust issues too. Fully trusting someone can be scary at times. But I am sure you can make it through this trial. And it sounds like he will be supportive of you, and don't forget, we are here too.