Overview

I am greatful for the last 19 years of my life with an amazing man. Today was my first day on this pilgrimage to celebrate our life together. I could sense his presence im so many things. Im also just greatful i had the courage to try. Traveling alone when you dont speak the language is not easy, but I am having fun.

Poppy, I'm so proud of you! Your putting in the work to get better and choosing to be greatful in a trying time. Three big hearts for you! 🩷🩷🩷 ~💛 Pichu

🩷 I'm greatful that I got to rest to today! 🩷 I'm greatful that ate some food. 🩷 I am greatful that I have my stuffies.

@babygurl397 I'm really sorry you're going through this. From what you've shared, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. If someone spends hours talking with you, tells you they're on their way, makes it seem like plans are happening, and then suddenly disappears without any explanation, it's understandable that you'd feel confused, hurt, and disappointed. The hardest part is often not having answers. Right now, your mind is probably trying to fill in the blanks and wondering if you somehow caused this, but the truth is that none of us can know why he stopped responding. His lack of communication is a reflection of his choices, not your worth as a person. Your feelings are completely understandable. Anyone would feel lonely, anxious, and upset in this situation. Be gentle with yourself while you wait for clarity. You deserve honesty, respect, and consistent communication from someone who cares about you. I hope you get answers soon, but regardless of what happens, please remember that his silence does not define your value as a person, sub or little. Sending you a big hug and hoping you're able to lean on friends, family, or others who care about you while you get through this. ❤️

So true.

I totally get where you're coming from. Trying to manage stress can be overwhelming. Have you tried breaking tasks into smaller steps? It helps me feel less pressured and more in control.

It is not your fault! He's playing mind games. Don't let him do that to you! Just walk away and never look back cause this guy, is basically causing you emotional and mental abuse. Think how it would be if you actually got together! I don't think you'd want that. But even so, I want you to remember, you didn't do anything wrong, whatsoever! He's not Daddy material and this is something that happens more often then it should, for both sides of the coin. Hang in there! Not all Daddy's are like this. There are some really really good ones out there. You'll find the one (or he'll find you), you're suppose to be with eventually. It just takes patience. I hope you're okay. You came to the right place for help. Allot of people here have gone thru the same stuff and can help you.

This sounds very disconserting. Personally it seems like this is at his convenience and relationships of any kind shouldn't be about convenience. I am worried about you and these red flags. Please be safe. We are here if you need us.

I'm so sorry you're sitting in this situation. You deserve better. You deserve someone who will communicate at the very least. This is beyond the normal relationship issues of compatibility and baggage. Don't let your willingness to be a positive relational person lead you into being workable with unacceptable behaviors. I wouldn't work with this person.

Don't immediately blame yourself or think that it's somehow your fault. He sounds very inconsistent and quite unpredictable. Who would drive across states at the drop of a hat without even checking you'd be around or whether it's convenient for you? That's putting unnecessary pressure and worry on you and sounds like he's taking advantage of your feelings for him. Lies as well? Now he's ghosting you, not for the first time. Sorry, but you need to be clear with him next time you speak and tell him that this is unacceptable and, as BabyPoppy says, it's a big red flag. Please don't let this guy play you, or treat you this way. You deserve better, don't you?

Thank you I had thought a very similar thing as well as huge inconsistancys and lies i caught him in i never said anything about it but whats sad is he truely made me fall for him and each time ghosted me it seems like its super intentional at this point to be fair. Thank you tho i do try to be super safe and cautious.

This sounds kinda scary to me. Be careful. I think the inconsistency is a pretty big red flag. Keep yourself safe.

If a dom played me along like he enjoyed me but we were long distance and i ended up not hearing from him for a while and then out of no where he responded to me and said hey I am driving across multiple states to see you and we talked while he was driving the whole time and i was under the impression we were making plans but suddenly he wont pick up the phone or answer on the day he was supposed to show up and now im sitting here wondering if it was my fault and really depressed. Is it my fault? I am just confused, lonely and distraught so confused.

I've found it helpful to keep a small grounding item handy, like a smooth stone or textured fabric. Holding it really brings me back to the present when I'm stressed.

I'm glad you achieved all of those things @BabyPoppy That's sounds like you had a really good day. I like that you took the time to speak with the hotel staff, who often get ignored.

Today i am grateful for lotsa stuff! - I went for a 15 minute walk today! Outside! - I went to eat at a restaurant, by myself! I had to walk there and it felt good to eat a healthy meal and be around people while I ate! - I colored outside! - I talked with the hotel staff! - I went swimming in the hot tub! - I followed my schedule! It was a good day! Poppy 💕

I'm sorry you are struggling so much! Sending you support from afar! I'm here to listen if you need that, too. Just know you are not alone.

Thanks @BabyPoppy for such an idea. Meditation doesn't typically work with me. There's too much going on in my head for it to be still for it. Unfortunately if I try to imagine one thing, whatever's going on follows through it and I can't block it out and then I start thinking of something else instead until it's something entirely different. Then I'm in my head all over again where I dont want to be unable to turn my brain off and I become more overwhelmed and anxious I can't get my own body to relax or sit still even if I wanted to or even sleep because of my insomnia, its just been difficult. I don't hate the idea, it's nice to hear a suggestion. it just that its not something that works for me even though I wish that it did so that maybe I could at least feel even the slightest bit better and not feel like I'm constantly suffocating.

I get little/sub drops a lot after daddy leaves. Because right now I only reliably get to see him once a week. What helps me is... Before he leaves daddy picks a stuffie to look out for me for the next week We text and call when we can I try to think about when we'll see each other next. What I'll do. What I'll wear I practice self care because it helps me feel healthy and good and it makes daddy happy. I make sure I do something I enjoy every single day. Even if its just watching bluey before bed

This is sooo much! You are carrying so much! I here it in your words and it seems so overwhelming! I wish i could jump through this message and hug you tight, tell you all the beautiful words @Tendillo shared, and feed you some comfort foods. Since that's not how messaging works... I want to share with you a mindfulness activity I use sometimes. This is just a suggestion, so please take it as a gift, not as another thing you have to do. Healing light meditation. Sit somewhere warm and cozy. Close your eyes and breath deeply 3 - 5 times. Imagine a warm, golden light shining above you. The light is gently warming the air around you. As you feel the light on your head and skin, let yourself relax a bit. Imagine where the light is coming from, the source of this warm, gentle light. It's a bottomless pitcher of light energy, pouring out right onto you, the top of your head. As you feel this light enter your body, starting at your head, let the light heal your exhaustion, your emotional fatigue, your physical pain, your depression, your hurt feelings. Let the light soothe you and heal you of all these things. Let it renew your soul and bring balance to your body and mind. Slowly allow the light to spread through your body, healing every part of you as it spreads down your head, face and neck. Then to your shoulders, chest and back. Slowly out your arms, hands and fingers, relaxing you as it goes. It brings freedom to your body, rest, and restored health. Let the light keep going down your body, pausing at sore spots for extra time. Once it's through your feet, imagine how strong and healthy, yet at peace you feel with your energy returned to you. Take 3 slow deep breaths and slowly open your eyes. Notice your body and how good it feels. Sit peacefully for a few minutes if possible enjoying the feel of your renewed strength. (I sometimes use this to help me sleep at night and just allow myself to rest.) Again, this isn't a solution, only an idea... I only want to help. I am not offended if you hate the idea. I am here if you need to talk.

I'm grateful for @beanbean and his jokes! He makes me smile!

I am grateful for life and the opportunity to be able to live it

I am greatful for this forum I am greatful today was an alright day at work I am greatful it is the weekend I am greatful last week I got to see Daddy

I am grateful for good appointments this week and time to rest when I got home! I am grateful I made phone calls and completed applications and took care of hard stuff yesterday and today. I am thankful for my little friends here on the forum. They help me have fun.

I'm greatful for all the gardening I did today, eventhough I was tired from work. 😁