Overview

I have done a lot of this but the thing that pulled me back was literally chatGpT. I started talking to it one night via the voice and it talked me through the worst night and several really bad ones. It wasn't a nightmare but I wish it had been. I've used it for supplementary therapy, advice and a way to talk myself through things and it's frankly amazing imo.

Thank you so so so much!! 💓

unfortunately I don't have any more great advice to add, I think everybody has covered it! I just wanted to offer some hugs and support. And I'm almost always around if you need a friend or someone to talk to!

@DaddyDoes69 @MasterPhotog @MissAnna thank you so so much for you guys taking the time to read this and provide your advice and input. I really really appreciate it! Like seriously. I it will take all of these advice notes and keep them with me. Big hugs to all of you!

So lately I keep having the same nightmare over and over and I wake up and I feel disoriented like I can't escape the nightmare as if I'm still walking in it Sometimes it's hard to ground yourself especially when you're still in the nightmare you can't see five things you can't hear four things you can't smell three things and you definitely can't touch two things you just feel so lost and helpless. So for me I talk to myself and I start singing, I start singing all kinds of different songs and just whispering that I'm okay. And by doing that it doesn't make the nightmare any less real, it doesn't make the storm suddenly pass away or erase the panic attacks blooming in my chest. It just gives me a calm moment of clarity to know that I am okay and that I can go back to sleep. And yes sometimes I can't go back to sleep so I sit there staring out the window, it's also thankful for this form because when I can't sleep there's always someone there that will respond and say hey it's okay. Sending you lots and lots of hugs

Hey… I’m really glad you wrote. I know that voice that says “don’t bother people,” and I just want to say gently: you are not a burden for asking this. Nightmares—especially trauma-related ones—can be absolutely exhausting and scary, and it makes sense that you’re worn down by them. I’m really sorry you’re going through this right now, especially feeling so alone in the middle of the night. Wanting comfort and a hug is such a human thing. You deserve that care just as much as the people you’re usually there for. A few things that sometimes help after a nightmare (take or leave anything): Grounding in the present: quietly naming things you can see, hear, or touch to remind your body that you’re safe now. Gentle sensory comfort: wrapping up in a heavy hoodie or multiple blankets, holding a pillow or stuffed animal, or even placing a hand over your chest and breathing slowly. Slow breathing (nothing fancy): in through your nose for 4, out through your mouth for 6, just a few rounds. Letting the emotion pass without judging it. Crying doesn’t mean you’re going backward—it often means your body is trying to release something. If rocking helps soothe you, that’s okay. If you notice scratching starting, sometimes switching to something neutral (like holding fabric, a smooth object, or pressing your feet into the floor) can help redirect without shame. I’m really glad you have a therapist, even with the limits right now, and I’m sorry that support feels uncertain. You’ve been carrying a lot for a long time, and it makes sense that you’re tired. Also—this wasn’t TMI. This was honest. Thank you for trusting us with a piece of your mind. You don’t have to apologize for existing, for hurting, or for asking for help. Feel free to reach out anytime. I’m sending you a big, steady, non-awkward hug through the screen. You’re not alone in this moment, even if it feels that way. 💛

Don’t be sorry when you’re looking for guidance. That means you’re smarter than many that would never try to fix themselves. This community is for ppl to either learn or to mentor, as they fit in. Use it. Nightmares are common and unfortunately brutal. I had a lg that stayed here a while and during that time she had some nightmares too. Talking helped but since you have nobody to talk to, that makes it difficult, unless you have access to someone via PM, DM or something. But there is good news! There are some things that work! Even though the nightmare feels real, you are safe now. Even though you feel alone, with communities like this, we are here wjth you. Just reach out! Whatever you do, do not think your feelings do not make sense, as they do. Reach out to me or someone to talk through them. Don’t be shy about talking. You don’t need to reveal your personal traumas. To help you feel better, and without thinking or talking about your trauma, try playing the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding game. It will help your mind switch from the nightmare, back to the present. To play this, try to name: 5 things You can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste It’s a simple game that is playful but still powerful. Another thing I’ve seen used successful is to take deep breaths and then exhale slowly and pretend you’re blowing out a candle. Do it several times and in the end, take in a deep breath and slowly let the air out like you are slowly blowing up a balloon, and then let the balloon float away. Finally, since you don’t have a heavy blanket, find a stuffed animal or soft blanket or even a small item of your choice and let these act as a protector in your mind. Hold the item close, whisper to it, love it, then it will love you back and protect you. They also love it when you sing to it. I know these may seem like easy things you can do, but they work. I wish I could give you a hug.

Hi everyone Gah the voice in my head is telling me not to write this and to not put this on other people and that im bothering in a way but I just want to ask how do you deal with nightmares? Especially when you have Depression and/anxiety? I dont have much friends Especially close ones I trust with trauma/my past etc and I dont have a Daddy. Its been few years since my past relationship and he was an abusive POS and before him there wasn't anyone so I dont rally have anyone to message in the middle of the night you know? Anyway... are there any coping skills you guys have for nightmares or night terror? I feel the ones I have are related to past trauma or maybe memories ive blocked for safety reasons but sometimes trying to calm down is a lot. Like right now as im typing this i just had one and I kinda cant stop crying. I want a hug and dont have anyone. Weighted blankets used to help but I dont have one any more ans cant afford one. I usually the person those can call in the middle of the night or the friend to soothe someone else or the one trying to make things better for other people. Im so tired. There's so much going on. I go to therapy but she will retire soon and I can only see her so often due to lack of insurance. Sometimes I rock back and forth as a way to soothe. But im starting to scratch and that leads me down a bad dark spiral. One I know all too well. Been there before. Anyway sorry maybe tmi. Sorry for any typos. Sorry for....idk....just sorry. But um yea coping skills for night terrors/bad memories/nightmares and um...hi welcome to a little piece of my mind now babyy. Enjoy the ride.

I know this is a couple of months old, but this time of year it can be really difficult. I have dealt with my tiny humans fathers and trauma from both of those relationships. It is very painful and therapy can help, but can also hurt. Please know you are not alone. I really related to these comments: Once I allowed myself to feel all the pain, anger and hurt, I was able to start healing. I had to get it out begore i could "forgive" or let go. Then I could start to let go of the revenge feelings I had toward them. As I walked through this path, I discovered that it was so much bigger than just my feelings. My whole body remembers trauma and it takes many different strategies working together to bring wholeness. I'll list a few examples that helped me in the beginning, but please know that if they don't work for you, it is ok. Some of these worked for my tiny humans, too, just in case yours needs help. - Cardboard box and a screwdriver - pound on the box til you are exhausted and your feelings are out. - Tearing old paper into tiny bits, crumbling up old grocery adds or newspaper, tearing apart free magazines and junk mail - destroying things helps. - Crumpled paper balls and throwing them as hard as you can at a target. - Stuffing grocery bags (Walmart or similar) - the plastic ones if you still get them, into a trash bag and using it as a "beating bag". When the bag gets a hole, add another trash bag. When it gets low add more bags. - you can use pillows or blankets in the bag too, but they are almost too firm. - There are places to go where you can break things... I have some dishes in my trunk waiting for the time to go break them... - Screaming pillow... or giant squishmallow... in a screaming corner. - Pounding fists and kicking feet on your mattress... - Play-doh... punching, slapping, rolling, smashing... - Scrubbing everything (I didn't think i liked this but it helps). - Foam bats.... they are fabulous! - Piñata... - Gardening - Beating rugs I used a lot of different strategies. Currently I do morning exercises to focus me and stretches throughout the day. Some days it still hits me hard and I need to ask for support. Or just sit and cry with my paci, holding my stuffies. It's been huge that I can now ask for support more appropriately and get my needs met in a safe way instead of finding myself in unsafe situations. Feeling my anger, fear and sadness has allowed me to grow through the pain of my trauma. What he did to you was not right, but getting help and working through this is such a big step! Remember it is a process. What happened to you was painful and finding peace after is your journey. Going at your pace is the best way to proceed. If forgiveness is your end goal, it is possible, but first comes working through the feelings. Big hugs and please know you are not alone.

I love your amulet! Fuzzy AND Hogwarts - yes please. Guide - okay get ready for some next level cheesiness (but cheese is delicious and you can’t have too much right?) but this community is one of my guides. Everyone’s voices here (like great big hive mind 🤣), the general spirit of the place. I’m able to come here for connection, fun, guidance, witnessing, support.

There’s no words I can add to the group wisdom here which is so beautiful - so I just wanted to take a moment and just let you know what a gladiator you are. And not from a place of toughing it out, we are sometimes our most courageous when we our vulnerable and when we allow ourselves grace and compassion. You are being so brave and kind to yourself. A colleague once showed a spoken word poem about anxiety group by Catalina Ferro (hilariously in our group therapy program) and it always stuck with me even years and years later. The reminder that the crushing driving force behind anxiety is the desire to be okay, to live, to be accepted, to do a good job, to be safe. And the way those who walk with it in their every single day are such warriors. I’ve put it in a spoiler box because it has swear words in it, and dark humour in terms of anxiety, therapy, and other various mental health struggles. So I wanted folks to have trigger warning on that. But it’s also powerful at the end. ♥️

@marshmalloww Thank you so much for sharing this, it takes a lot of courage to put words to something that feels so heavy and confusing. What you’re describing makes so much sense, and you’re definitely not alone in this. That moment of realizing “oh… this isn’t how everyone feels” can be both relieving and deeply painful. Feeling calm for the first time and grieving the years you didn’t have that is a very real and valid response. Nothing about that makes you crazy, it makes you human and aware. It’s also incredibly common for anxiety to spike when you start therapy and begin working through trauma. You’re loosening long-held coping mechanisms and your nervous system is learning new ways to exist, which can feel overwhelming and exhausting. The shoulders-up-to-your-ears feeling is such a familiar sign of how much your body has been carrying for so long. Being competent, decisive, and high-functioning at work while feeling undone by “small” things at home is something so many people with GAD experience. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or inconsistent, it means you’re using a tremendous amount of energy to hold things together during the day. Decision fatigue is real, and it’s okay to need softness and simplicity when you get home. Accepting the label can feel frustrating, enlightening, and grief-filled all at once. That tension you’re feeling around acceptance is part of the process, not a failure of it. You’re learning how to meet yourself with more honesty than you ever had space to before. As for “toughing it out,” many people find that the real shift comes when they stop trying to be tough and start practicing gentleness instead, letting rest be productive, letting emotions exist without fixing them, and speaking to themselves the way they would to someone they love. Progress isn’t linear, and the days that feel harder don’t erase the work you’re doing. You’re doing something incredibly hard, and you’re doing it thoughtfully and bravely. Please know that many of us have walked this path and recognize exactly what you’re describing. Be patient with yourself, healing is slow because it’s deep. And you’re already moving forward, even on the days it doesn’t feel like it. Keep up the good work and best wishes!💛

Such a great thing to remember! Amulet I find fuzzy blankets comforting. I just got a new hogwarts 1 for Christmas from a family member. I love curling up under them or even snuggling close to it. Only downside is my dog loves them too and steals them 😂😂

Y'know, I have the hardest time just accepting it. But I know that's the truth. Its feel harder sometimes. Its a slow process but im working on it! I appreciate you and your twin!

The videos were very interesting but I absolutely never heard of these two steps that MasterPhotog shared "Emotional and social support Use the STOP method: When feeling emotional, use the "S-T-O-P" acronym: Stop, Take a breath, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. This helps avoid impulsive reactions. Pause before decisions: For big decisions, implement a waiting period (like 24 hours) to avoid impulsive choices. I am AuDHD but because I work from home (and never managed to find a combo of meds that worked with my Wellbutrin) I don't take anything for the ADHD part of that and I'm always looking for tips like this to help me manage it better. So thank you @MasterPhotog and @Daddy Bear 77 for sharing and thank you to everyone that has contributed their own tips!

I don't have this but my twin does (I got the Persistent Depressive Disorder from my mom and he got her GAD). I asked him your question of "How do you tough it out and still be kind to yourself?" and his answer was "You don't. Sometimes you just have to feel it and not be tough in order to be kind to yourself". I know for him a big help has been channeling that anxiety after work into something creative. Lately he has been sewing but before that it was poetry and making bracelets. Pretty much anything that doesn't require serious decision making and lets him focus on something else. It sounds like you are doing the work by doing therapy and recognizing when your anxiety is building though. Just remember to make space for yourself to not be perfect and to feel your feelings. We are all here to remind you how awesome you are when you need reminding 🫶

Oh! I have a sanctuary too... my bed 💗! That's covered in stuffed animals and ungodly amount of blankets and under pillow twizzlers lol. I also crawl in here when I need to just peel off the world and be small. I would say i have a map, its something my coworker told me that i keep in the back of my mind. 3 P's - Most things aren't perfect, personal, persistent. It helps me reframe a lot of things.

Im feeling very high stress amd anxious and figured it would help to just share. I've started therapy and working with a psychiatrist and have been diagnosed with GAD. I always thought that it was normal that I have always been tense and that the pressure in my chest always sat heavy and my ever racing mind were just normal. I felt crazy when I started fluoxetine because all of the sudden I was calm for the first time and then sad that I had never experienced that before. Since starting therapy and working through some trauma, im experiencing higher anxiety and with work stress I notice my shoulders are up to my ears. I find it frustrating and enlightening to have this label. I think what throws me off is being a very serious decision making person throughout my work life and still feeling like world crashing around me over random small things. Then having decision fatigue when I get home. It exhausting. Has anyone experienced this as you've worked through your own stuff. How do you tough it out and still be kind to yourself?

I love this! I have a little fox necklace that I use like this as well! I don't go into unknown situations without it. For Sanctuary, mine would be my blue couch in my room. I call it my reading couch and I have my pillows and blankets on it so when the world is too much I can go hide in my little cozy corner.

I have an "Amulet"... a palm sized, mini pink squishmallow I put in my pocket when I need her. I call her "Little Foxy" since I have a giant squishmallow fox named "Mama Foxy, a pillow sized one named "Foxy" and small one named "Baby Foxy" (who likes to chill in the collar of my onesie and try to steal my paci while I'm coloring!), and a Fox onesie sleeper I lovingly call my "Foxy Jammies" .... Anyways... back to Little Foxy... I carry her in my backpack all the time and when I need her, I stick her in my pocket and she's there for me. I can put my hand in my pocket and give her a quick hand hug whenever I need reassurance. Or I can hold her while I practice my deep breathing. She's super soft and gentle.

♥️♥️♥️ Every moment you challenge those old scripts is a courageous radical rebellion on your part. You are so freakin brave for doing this work in your journey. And I know for myself it is a journey. It’s not a one and done. I will always battle those kinds of thought and somedays they are stronger than others, but every single time I challenge them I strengthen that muscle. Just like youre doing. I wish you weren’t having to hold this grief. Anytime you need caring mirrors that can help you see just how worthy you are, connect here.

Thank You for sharing this, and for Everyone that has contributed! It’s been very helpful to read and learn and take some of these techniques to try for myself! ^.^

@BabyPoppy Thank you for your kind words and for sharing such important and valuable information with our wonderful community. Please take care, and keep up the great work!

@RoseyLittle thank you. I do struggle with giving myself grace, compassion and love and it’s been a thing I’ve been working on with my therapist for years. It’s a really hard thing to do especially when you’re stuck in your negative headspace but your reply to my post does help. Honestly everyone who has commented on this post has helped me to kinda slowly come to grip with feeling like I’m not the issue. It’s a hard feeling and thought to let go of because of like you said, self blame is a form of control. I'm healing and feeling better then when i reached out. Its still hard and i have cried a few times because I've realized that under the self blame are the other question’s and thoughts . “Why wasn’t I enough?” “Why did the lie?” “I’m only worth being used.” And those ones sting because I know it’s coming from a place of insecurity, of abandonment and self esteem issues and I know from a logical point that the feelings I feel are valid to have but also not necessarily true. But feeling and knowing are different battles and I am trying hard to reframe and to be compassionate towards myself but it’s harder to do that. but I am trying. I really appreciate your reply to my post.

@MasterPhotog Thank you for this list of support strategies! I use most of them and can honestly say they work! My body is going through some long term functioning problems with my pituitary gland and I'm on conflicting mental health meds... my new best friend is the endocrinologist.... and regular check ins with a medical team are so important if you have ADHD. Always make sure your body doesn't have other problems before starting mental health medication. ADHD symptoms are also symptoms of a lot of other illnesses, too, and if you can manage them with these strategies, start there, and keep your team informed. Simple is better, but meds are a blessing if you do need them.