Overview

It's super special to my little squirrel and I look forward to the day I can formally collar her. 💖 @RoseyLittle

Well, me personally I’m not collared. (although I do have play collars I’ll wear that say like daddy‘s girl) I do have friends who are Littles that are. I primarily identify as little, but I’m naturally submissive. So I guess I do consider myself a submissive little. If someday my daddy were to give me a collar, to me, that would mean a deeper commitment.

Good Morning Everyone... For those of you in Daddy/little dynamics, do collars or formal collaring have a place in your dynamic? If so, what does the collar mean to you and your Daddy? Do you also identify as submissive, or is little your primary role? Thanks, Gellybeangrl11

Same here my little friend. I had to learn how to regulate around relationships...and still honor my gut feelings. I'm sure I have lost people because I just couldn't trust .... But in a way that's ok!! I'm following my gut and that way my whole self is welcome into the relationship. I just have to find what works for me and also keep learning and growing 💜 🐇

Thank you both for your kind words. I'm definitely trying to be kind to myself and knowing that its not just me that gets this way definitely helps. Also, I think @InspireDaddy hit the nail on the head here: Even though Daddy has proven that he isn't like any of my ex partners, I know that the idea of feeling that amount of hurt again is part of what makes me so scared. I know that if they hadn't hurt me so bad that he wouldn't have to work to reassure me so much all the time. Very much like @MasterPhotog said. I'm very thankful for this forum and especially this club 🫶

@NickyMoon I'm so pleased you have found something beautiful, and so sorry you are struggling to fully enjoy it. I hope it helps a little to know that having doubts about something which seems 'too perfect' is actually very normal and human. It is actually a documented phycological phenomenon where people trust perfect individuals less, and prefer competent ones which make small mistakes or have small flaws. This is known as the Pratfall Effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pratfall_effect Though I wonder if what you are really running away from is the fear of how deeply you could get hurt if you allow yourself to full commit to the relationship. When something is so perfect and so right there can be a temptation to run from it to protect yourself from the heartbreak and pain and losing something you love so much. It might seem easier to go without, or accept less, than risk commit to more. Maybe the break you feel is your soul being tourn in two between the Daddy you clearly love, and the trauma and fear of how it could all go wrong if you gave yourself completely to that love and then lost it. I don't blame you at all for feeling this way. But I would say... if you have something that special, that beautiful, that pure, then love, adore, and cherish every moment of it you can. Anything can go wrong at any time, their is so much completely beyond our control. You could lose it for so many reasons you would never predict or choose, but you can choose to what you are going to do right now, today, in this moment. It doesn't have to all or nothing, but each day you can chose a little bit more. “Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark” - Rabindranath Tagore 🐦🎶 ID

@NickyMoon I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Trauma can have such a lasting impact on how we see things, even when we’re finally in a healthy and loving relationship. It’s understandable that trusting something good can sometimes feel difficult when your past has taught you otherwise. Please be kind to yourself and remember that healing takes time. You’re not broken, and you deserve the love, patience, and happiness you have now. It’s wonderful that your Daddy understands and supports you through these difficult moments. Sometimes, just being able to express what you’re feeling can make a big difference.

The thing I hate about trauma the very most is that it alters how you see everything. For example, a healthy relationship with open communication and zero red flags making me feel suspicious of it and not trusting it. I find myself having to gentle parent my brain to keep it from freaking out and blowing everything up. I am glad that Daddy is patient and knows my past so he doesn't push me when I'm in this mental space, but sometimes its really difficult to not run away because I'm tired of feeling broken. I'm not really sure why I'm posting about this but I needed to get it out and not have it festering in my head this time.

Love you so much, my ftiend. 🫂

I don't think I have words enough to comfort you right now, so I send hugs in their place 🫂

I just wanted to take a moment to thank every one of the voices here and this community that I feel wrapped around me. I read and re-read these words repeatedly over the last two weeks. I needed every single one of them, their wisdom, their guidance, their care. I honestly don’t think I could have held on without them and given myself for others with the compassion and support I wanted to show up with. *trigger warning: death and dying So thank you beautiful souls who held me and helped me. 💕

@marshmalloww Thank you so much for dedicating your time and energy to such an important and selfless cause. Becoming a QPR instructor and offering these sessions freely to help others is truly admirable. Your willingness to share your knowledge and support people who may be struggling can make a meaningful difference in someone’s life. Thank you for reminding everyone that no one has to face difficult times alone and that there is always someone willing to listen. Your compassion, generosity, and commitment are deeply appreciated. ❤️

Hi Folks, I am a certified QPR suicide prevention instructor. I took the class last year and felt called to become an instructor. If you’d like support with skills on how to support the people in your lives, or yourself, I would be happy to host a free session with this group via Zoom or whatever format works best. Know you are not alone, and that there is always someone you can speak with

My heart goes out to you Rosie , you are a beautiful soul !🤗

Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family. You are a beautiful person inside and out my friend!! to be able to put your In-laws grief above you’re own and not share what you yourself are going through to support them in their time of need, shows exactly just how strong you are! people change over time, and that’s something you don’t have any control over. How someone else changes. just because your husband/daddy changed doesn’t make what you once had invalid. Or any less real. You May not be able to control how he changed, but you definitely get to control how you respond to his changes. You’ve done that with grace and dignity, and a caring heart! Just because he changed doesn’t mean You are not worth choosing! Because you ARE! All of your friends here, We CHOOSE YOU !! We choose to love and support you for being your beautiful self! If you feel like you’re struggling this week, just remember that! reach out and we will hold you up! You’ve got this!! 🫶🫶❤️❤️

As I read this, I could scarcely believe the layers of pain, loss, betrayal ..... You are so brave, so strong, and compassionate right now, to be carrying all of this and still helping maintain this veneer of normality to protect the feelings of others. You didn't do anything wrong. You are still worth choosing, but the one you trusted lost sight of that. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't you who caused any of this, yet here you are carrying this thing not only for yourself, but to shield everyone else from such devastation at this painful time. And, as painful as this is, you are right to feel that this could be the best thing that happened, because this isn't an end, merely the closing of one door, and the opening of another in your life. So, when you make it through that broken glass, past all the pain, I hope you will start to see that you are still worthy and deserving of love that is safe and kind. Your friends are here, on the forum, and no doubt elsewhere. They will be here for you. Just take it as slowly as you need to and please don't be too hard on yourself. You never asked for any of this.

Sending you hugs and support. This is so painful. I'm so sorry.

I am so incredibly sorry you’re having to walk through this. If I could wave a magic wand and take this pain from you, I would. I would give anything to spare you even one tear, one sleepless night, one moment of wondering how you’re supposed to put your life back together. But I can’t take the pain away. What I can do is remind you that you are not alone. There are people here in this community who love you. People who will stand beside you when you feel like you’re falling. People who will remind you that you are still you beneath all this hurt. You don’t have to know what tomorrow looks like. You don’t have to have the answers. You don’t even have to be okay today. Just keep breathing. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Let yourself grieve what you lost, because it mattered. Let yourself cry, because it mattered. Let yourself hurt, because you loved deeply. And when you finally reach the other side of this chapter in your life, I hope you know that this wasn’t where your story ended, it was where you began writing a new chapter.

@RoseyLittle Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal and vulnerable. ❤️ I can only imagine how difficult it must be to walk through this week carrying so many layers of grief, heartbreak, memories, and change all at once. What really stood out to me is your incredible compassion. Even while you are hurting so deeply yourself, you are choosing to be there for people you love, while also beginning to recognize that you deserve to take care of yourself and honour your own boundaries. That takes an enormous amount of strength and dedication. Please remember that you don’t have to minimize your own grief simply because others around you are grieving too. Your loss is real. Your pain is real. And you are allowed to acknowledge it, especially during a week filled with reminders of what you thought your life would be. And for what it’s worth, none of what happened to you determines your worth or whether you were deserving of love. You deserved honesty, kindness, safety, and a love that chose you fully. Be gentle with yourself over these next few days. You don’t have to be strong every moment. You’re allowed to grieve, to feel angry, to feel lost, and to still have hope for what comes next—all at the same time. The fact that you are rebuilding, healing, setting boundaries, and discovering what safe and healthy love can look like is incredibly meaningful. One day at a time. ❤️ Sending you so much love, strength, and compassion as you navigate this incredibly painful chapter.

This is and will continue to be a really rough week. I need a space to put my thoughts and feelings…and it got far too long for a status update. 🫠 One year ago this Friday, we drove to North Bay for my father-in-law’s death. In a surreal and cruel twist of fate we are back only a year later as my brother-in-law goes into hospice for liver cancer. He is such a beautiful soul and I am grieving deeply, but even more so for his wife and son, and his amazing mother who only just lost her husband. Within this year my life has fundamentally changed in ways I’ve barely had time to process. The last time I came up, I travelled with my husband/Daddy. I played the role of supportive wife and sub. And I really thought we were happy. I posted here at the time, ready to support my person and his family in their grief. Now here we are again and yet everything is so different. I don’t recognize my life. Over the last year I have begun to understand the depth of infidelity in my marriage and the reason for him pulling away in our relationship and dynamic. I fought my best for repair and was willing to heal and trust. I fought for my marriage and ultimately survived him choosing to end it. None of which I could have done without my people and this beautiful community. Or music - my constant lifeline. But while my immediate family and best friends know. His family does not. He hasn’t wanted to tell them yet - especially with his mother still grieving and then his brother getting sick. And I have given him that time. I’ve been trying my best to keep the family together, living together and coparenting our 3 and 7 year old. Most of the times I barely keep my head above water. Flash forward and here we are driving up again. But I am not married. And I am standing beside the man who blew up my entire world and walked away like it was easy. And none of them know. This strange undercurrent of grief that is only mine in a sea of other grief. I have to remind myself I am here because it feels important to me. Because I love this family no matter if we are together or not. They are my family too. My girls family. Because I believe in compassion and kindness and shaping the world with it. So I will be there for him, and them in the small ways I can offer. While I also make sure to take care of me. I will also learn from this - know my boundaries that have come out of this experience. I can’t keep pretending for him. He needs to make a timeline and plan to tell them. (We will be telling our kiddos too but I’m waiting on the waitlist for the services I connected us to for family therapy to help and be part of that process). So just for right now, I need a space where I get to say my truth too. That I’m watching a woman lose her husband in the worst way possible. While I've lost mine in secret. That in four days it is my wedding anniversary and it hurts so very deeply. That this bizarre full circle experience is like walking through glass shards and trying not to get cut. A thousand little reminders of what I’ve lost, while pretending I still have it. That the man and Daddy who promised forever, who took my vows and my submission…Who I knelt for with absolute blinding faith and love for 15 years could do this to me. And sometimes I’m still the little trauma survivor who can’t figure out why I wasn’t worth choosing, never understanding what I’m doing wrong. I know I am strong enough, and I know I’m doing the right thing being here for the people I love. Living the values I believe in. That this too shall pass and get easier. Especially as we move forward in no longer holding this ridiculous facade. I also know that despite my entire world burning down around me, I am rebuilding and I am healing and I am discovering things I didn’t even know existed - like being deserving of love that is safe and kind. That the ending of what was harmful to me just might be the best thing that happened to me. And for my girls. But knowing and seeing the good , and believing in my capacity to get out, doesn’t make it hurt less. Especially right now.

Hugs friend. I hope things are looking up now.

As vulnerable as you feel what you’ve written makes me believe you are stronger than you think I’m hoping things get better 🙏

It's beautiful the way you turn towards hope even in all the pain - that's resilience. Sometimes I wish we didn't have lives we needed to be resilient in...but sometimes just continuing to breath and put one foot in front of the other is a courageous act of defiance. 💗

Hey friend I'm a middle. I'm not stranger to mental health and body pain and life in general. I give you props for opening up and sharing. Message me anytime. No pressure 😊

Hello! I’m also a little with ADHD (AuDHD) And Bipolar disorder! I’m BP2 with a few other things, and I definitely understand how difficult it can be juggling everything together :,) I’m also a full-time online college student right now! I’ve been on break but my next semester starts up at the end of this month I don’t mind talking at all, since my life is so hectic I’m usually at home and seldom go outside 😂 and I think pen pals would be neat if you’re still interested!