Overview

I feel you figuring out how to move has been so hard since my ex broke up with me and I don't think I could have made it without the community especially two people in particular, they know who they are. The biggest help has been chatgpt. It has had such good advice and helping me navigate a lot of feelings I have had, especially feelings of hopelessness, regret and heartsickness. Recently my ex has done some things to ruin what remained of our friendship for I know not why. If you need someone to talk to HMU and I can at least listen to you or if you want show you how the app can be an amazing therapist in-between visits. I hope you find peace and learn to let the right people back in.

Remember tho not everything is what it seems what one person views as broken others can view as not broken and as bad as it seems the sun keeps rising and thats what this forum is for us to remind us we are not alone. I have had some dark days were most people probably gave up on probably gave up on me even some of my family and I was probably viewed as a lost cause but I got through it maybe my story not the same as yours but if we support each other we can go further hopefully yall know my door is open

I feel this way too sometimes.....I'm kind of in the same space as you are right now. Thanks for sharing because you helped put words to my feelings.

Oh sweetheart I absolutely hate that you're feeling like this It takes such courage to speak how you feel, I know right now your world might seem dark and cold but I promise you that you aren't alone I know right now you think that you are but you aren't, there are so many people here that care about you. Remember that it's okay to be sad, it's okay to feel like you're falling apart and it's okay as if you think the world around you is shattering. Because that's why we are here, to show you that you aren't alone, that if you're falling apart we will help put you back together, if you feel sad we will cheer you up, if you feel the world of shattering then we will stand beside you and help glue back the pieces. You aren't alone anymore, we are here for you, I am here for you. You don't have to keep silent, you don't have to hold back the tears, you don't have to hide. We want you to speak how you feel, not believe you have to hide who you are We love you and we are so proud of you I love you little sis and I'm so proud of you You aren't broken my dear, I promise My door is always open, I will always listen to you and I'm always here for you Never forget that

You are not alone! I feel this way, too, but I see you. I count you as my friend. Tears do not scare me away. In fact, I may just cry with you, coz I feel it too. Life is a lot. It's hard to face sometimes and we feel like we are drowning in a giant sea of emptiness, but I'm here, if you need a friend, and so are many others! You may be broken, but not so much so that you are lost. Here's what I love most about you: I love that you are so quick to encourage others! You see the good in those around you and you believe in them! It is a gift! What a blessing you are to those around you! Thank you for sharing your true self with us here on the forum!

I feel so broken, like I’ve been shattered into a million times tiny pieces. And as I sit gathering them up I realise I’ve been here before, and each time I’m here the pieces get smaller, harder to put back together. Each time I’m here I become scared that this is the time they are too small to put me back together. It’s then I realise that I’m alone again. With nobody here helping me gather up the pieces, and nobody helping to put them back together. This isn’t because they don’t want to be though, it’s because I shut them back out. See I don’t just keep people at arms length, I keep them at Covid safe distances, with big solid iron walls of protection between me and them. It’s easier to stop people from being there than to shatter further when they walk away Because they always walk away, after a certain point they deem me to broken and walk away. Keep your circle small. Then less possibility of being hurt or let down. Keep your circle small, protect yourself. But it’s getting harder to wear the masking showing the world I’m happy, even if is fake, because happy is the only option and if you’re not you fake it until you are. Remember fake it until you make it. But it’s getting harder to keep the tears that just want to fall back. Crying is not an option, if they see they will only give me something worth crying about. Don’t cry, you know it’s not allowed, keep the tears back. But it’s getting harder, my world grows more quiet & isolated by the day. I speak less even to myself. I talk to fewer people. I don’t want them to see how broken I am, they will only leave faster if I’m a burden. Don’t be a burden, don’t speak. But it’s getting harder, I feel like I have nowhere I belong, I feel like I have no direction, that some how I have wondered off the path and gotten myself so incredibly lost, with no idea how to find the way back to the path. Probably my own fault for pushing everyone away, but I had to do that. But it’s getting harder, everything is getting harder. I don’t want to be broken anymore. I don’t want to feel scared anymore. I don’t want to feel alone anymore. I don’t want to feel lost anymore. I just want to feel like myself again. Unbroken. Unshattered. Just me.

Sooo... I kinda left suddenly and missed a lot.... uggg... frustrating triggers!!! I've been out forb9 years divorced for 8... but still have regular contact with him coz of custody... and in the summer it's worse coz I'm working and my daughter is too old for child are, so he's at my house a lot... he's got bipolar disorder and was crazy high in mania for about a 18 months, which ended last fall... I had to get the lawyers and police involved again... he's super depressed currently and his moods affect my child a lot... her and I are in weekly counseling and last fall we added OT for her for sensory... I believe that the anxiety, fear, panic drives the allergies and makes them worse... when life is stable and calm, we are healthier, but the transition to summer and back to school is always tough... I have a mountain of crap from my childhood too, that keeps popping up, from neglectful, alcoholic mother, who later made me her scapegoat, to a lot of icky stuff when I was super young from my paternal parent... I believe trauma comes in waves like the ocean... sometimes they are calm and steady and evenly paved, but sometimes it is rough seas and I feel so lost! My emotions go all over, my physical health goes wacky and I can't find my center... in those moments, I feel like a terrified little one standing in the middle of a mall at Christmas crying but no one hears her... begging for the mythical being to come in and protect me from myself... simple say... eat now, shower now, go to bed, talk to your child, go to work, you are capable... but it is not how healing works... I gotta do the work myself... I gotta process each trigger, each painful emotional explosion, and change the behavior, which takes time... so be forgiving of yourself and try not to compare yourself with others... their life is not yours, so it is not comparable... compare instead, did I learn from my mistakes? Am I growing? Do I need more support to continue my journey forward?

I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose a baby. 25 years ago next month and I still remember, still long to hold the child that never was. I, too, never told anyone about the pregnancy, or the miscarriage, until recently. It was so painful and isolating to be alone. To walk that path without others. To feel the loss so personally, and deeply, yet to show a fake persona to the world. A happy person going through life, yet blank or crying when I was alone. Pretending my way through life. I'm so thankful you had the courage to share today! That you are bravely embracing your loss and the feelings around the miscarriage. Remember all your feelings are important and a part of the grieving process. There will be ups and downs for decades, but know that you are a beautiful woman, a strong woman to survive this and you didn't do anything wrong. Your baby is safe and loved in your heart forever, even if you never got to hold him. You are also loved. Only a loving parent is heartbroken for their child. 💔❤️ Please message me if you need support. Poppy

We hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet so I didn’t wanna announce the miscarriage so pretend to be happy on my birthday to not ruin the mood we announced it about 2 weeks after that but yea

I'm really sorry that happened to you and sorry for your loss, but may I ask you why you had to fake being happy on your birthday? There are healthy ways to express sadness and sorrow with loved ones during events like this, so I really hope someone wasn't pressuring you.

Hey, no worries! Things happen and this isn't a serious issue~ and I hope your storm passes.

Oops- I just clicked bump this topic by accident- I didn't mean to

Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. They really touched me — more than I can explain. It’s been such a heavy thing to carry, and most days I feel like I’m just trying to survive it quietly. I dont think I’m ready to get therapy or take any official steps yet… I know I probably should, but even thinking about it feels overwhelming. For now, I’m just trying to slowly get myself through it, little by little, one day at a time. I kinda like to think of it as a storm that even when they're dark and terrifying, they eventually have to clear, so maybe one day this storm will also lead to clear and sunny days Thank you for your message. Truly.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Its 100% understandable to feel this way. I lost a baby November 2022 right before my father passed away. I think about that baby just as much as I think about my living children. It's ok to grieve, to think what if but we can't dwell in it. Hugs from one parent to another.

It’s about to be a year since I heard those words I’m sorry their isn’t a heartbeat anymore after going back for almost 2 weeks given them so much blood hoping my levels go up instead of dropping I had to fake being happy on my 30th birthday even when on the inside I felt like I was dying cause was going through a miscarriage that was my last miscarriage(no more babies for me)I love my child and so happy I got pregnant with him so soon after my miscarriage but I keep wondering what ifs and I didn’t handle my miscarriage well and just choice to ignore it and try again idk why I’m even posting this but yea

One step at a time One day at a time It's something I always say to my patients The main thing is to keep moving Social workers can be very resourceful in helping you get the help you need Very Proud of you Mr JJ You've got this and you will do wonderful things

My Psych ended up doing a gene testing to see what meds I should / shouldn't be taking and SURPRISE! (not really) I'm basically sensitive or have adverse effects to just about everything lol. So I'm starting something new this week, and someone else 2 weeks from now, once I get used to this one. I also actually switched from a Therapist to a Social Worker, so I can actually get diagnosed properly. I also took some steps to help myself, like I signed up for a gym membership and I've been going every day (well, 2 days, but it's a start, lol.) The meds I'm on not are taking the edge off at least, and I've been slightly more functional.

Working in the medical field along with psych patients, you definitely need to find a therapist you can trust and a psychiatrist that will tailor to your needs. Secondly advocate for yourself, I cannot stress this enough. If something doesn't feel right or you are feeling off make sure you let a medical professional know. You aren't going insane I promise you, the chemicals in your brain are imbalanced. Please I urge you to find someone that will listen to you. I take mental health very seriously and I always advocate for all my patients. You are not alone, it takes time to find the right medicine and the right treatment. Don't give up, I believe in you, just please don't give up

Well, I did... Until I read the replies.

@Little Nyx Oh wow, I was way off! lol I've never been that far northwest, so that's why I didn't recognize the weather patterns. It sounded close to CA, but not enough to grab my attention. But yeah, I don't do well in heat too. I have some health issues that don't do well with extremes on either end. I hope you don't get too bothered by the weather this summer and that the current pattern settles down enough for you.

Trauma dreams are the worst! I hope you were able to get a bit more rest last night and you day has good.

U.S., yes, but you are thinking on the wrong side of the country. I'm in the Pacific North West (PNW), Oregon specifically. Luckily, the area I'm in only sees about 4 months of hot, sunny weather, which is good as I have several health conditions that do not do well with heat and sunshine. If the last few days are any indication, this is going to be a really difficult season for me. {sigh} I'm already over this summer nonsense and it's barely begun.

@Little Nyx Huh, I bet you live near central east coast. Maybe further north, but not as far as Maine. Definitely close to or in Appalachia. If you're in the US I mean... Oh wait, you also mentioned daily triple digits? Gosh, doesn't sound like Appalachia after all. Triple digits makes me think of Texas or other desert/red rock states. Not that you have to tell me what state/country you're in, of course. I just enjoy guessing locations if I suspect the US. 😅 @beanbean It's much cleaner and cheaper, lol

@LittleBiscut Sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you're feeling at least a tiny bit better.

We always get a heat wave at the end of May-start of June. Then the temps generally go back to 75°-85° until July when we get back into yucky heat of 90°+ daily with heat waves into triple digits until October. Then, like magic, poof! Cool temps again (mid 60°s)! 🥳