Leaderboard

my entry

This is so true, it is a relationship that you build with someone, regardless if they say it's just a dynamic. Feelings will always come into play when entering a dynamic or relationship whichever way you want to call it. I'm so sorry you dont feel valued or even worthy. Remember we are here for you, you have a giant community behind you that will support you. Please remember you truly do matter, you are worthy of love and you are valued.

@SweetLittleDreamer entry she was unable to post it from her devices

here's my entry

To all my beautiful friends and community family members on here Thank you all for standing behind me as I slowly find my way back to who I used to be Thank you for cheering me on and checking in on me If I could hug you all I would! Thank you for never giving up on me All of you have a special place in my heart ❤️ Thank you Always in your corner Miss Anna

I am going to start with the thought that rings in my mind the most when reading your post : Do the labels of what you’re wishing to build (relationship or dynamic) really matter if one party is being left feeling the way you currently feel ? Not being valued , not feeling worthy , as though you’re a convenience rather than a partner. In my humble opinion before I even get into anything - it doesn’t matter. Neither of these labels matter if you feel the way you do and it will cause you damage in the long run and is not worth the blips of happiness you might catch in your net in between feeling unvalued and unworthy. No label matters if both parties aren’t putting equal energy into each other to begin with. I think you should sit with that a little bit - are you grasping at labels to try and create something to grab onto instead of letting it fade ? Even the most shallow interactions between people have equal rewards (to the parties involved - outsiders may disagree) such as sugar babies and sugar daddies , as the simplest example. Do you think a sugar daddy would continue to provide his sugar if he’s not getting any sugar in return ? Maybe if the guy is massively desperate for emotional or physical intimacy … but eventually that will dwindle as well. Along with the funds. I also consider if this was flipped. What if you were a female and a little that was making a post like this - being vulnerable and opening up about how you feel so unappreciated. Everyone would be up in arms and I’m sure much more people would reply how the Caregiver is an asshole and you should move on. Guess what I’m gunna say ? This chick is an asshole - and you should move on and invest time into yourself , whatever that looks like. Just from this post alone , I have no doubts that you have expressed your wants and desires - as well as possible outcomes for whatever ends up being your label. And I’m gunna be an asshole and say - does this chick even know the true definitions ? I’ll lay out Websters - my all time favorite book besides the one that shall not be named. Understandably , dynamic is going to be interpreted differently even though there is a literal definition. In my world - a dynamic is an exchange between two people. An equal exchange of forces and power where both sides benefit. A dynamic happens WITHIN a relationship. The two are intertwined in my world but I understand that there are people that separate them - but as @shadowrider stated … that only lasts so long before the dynamic shifts - one person demands more and it either fizzles out - blows up - or turns into a relationship. One cannot survive long without the other - they’re symbiotic labels in the end and one will shrivel up and die if the other is not treated with care. There is a reason people will call relations between two people “one sided” at times. One person is in it for the dynamics (exchanges between two people) and the other is in it for the possible relationship. My question is - do you put up with the behavior from this person that leads you feeling unworthy and undervalued so you have a person , a “friend” or the idea that you might be able to obtain a relationship ? If that is the case - this person is not a friend and not someone I would suggest you keep entertaining. From an outsider looking in - especially you being so obviously heartfelt and loving … this person isn’t a friend. If you’ve discussed how you felt with them and their answer was cold and “we have a dynamic not a relationship” … run for the hills. This is the type of person that will bang your door down when they need something but when YOU are bleeding out - they’ll shrug , say you’re not their problem and walk away. If you’re not in a “relationship” then why would they care to be there anyways ? Having this type of mindset in the DDLG world , to ME specifically is a huge red flag. I am probably the biggest and loudest advocate for men that the site has - and this type of shit makes me angry. Genuine men who want to care for someone being treated like this can break them down and destroy their hope of finding a little - or turn them into straight up monsters. Of course I only have the context that you provided … but to me it sounds like you’re being played like a fiddle. If someone ever said this to me when I'm pouring myself into building something , regardless of the label … please let the door hit your ass when I walk you out of my space and heart. No amount of “dynamic” activities (Ddlg activities that partners share) would ever fix the unworthy feeling it would create. In fact , it would make me feel more used to continue those activities KNOWING the other person has no interest in anything other than emotionless activities. I will be back later with more thoughts - but I’m literally shoving the last of my lunch in my face and now my phone is covered in honey mustard 😅 Those are my short lunchtime thoughts for now.

welcome to my life experience! semi wise words from an older gal. i've probably been there, done that, own the T-shirt and could probably write the book! 😉 hey Ya'll!! So, its not very often you'll see me make a serious post. I tend to keep my posts light hearted, often poking fun at myself or randomly posting funnies to other folks pages. I'm a big believer in laughter is the best medicine! and if I can make one person a day smile and or laugh at something I've said or done, then I feel I'm contributing to a greater whole of good karma! I tend to be a constant jokester, I'm very quirky , and often awkward ! So I don't claim to be eloquent writer or have a lot of great advice to impart, but you'll often see me offering some kind words of encouragement to anyone I think I needs them. What I can offer are a few observations, and some insights from someone who has a lot of life experience in general. in just the short month that I've been a part of this community, I've already seen a lot of young ladies and gentlemen fly through here. a number of people have made some insightful posts recently about about slowing things down and truly taking your time in getting to know someone. So this is more of a supplement to those posts, and me throwing my two cents in. To give you a little backstory of where I'm trying to go with this: before I joined this community, years ago I was very active in the swinging community. and no, this is not an invitation nor a ploy to get you to invite me into your relationship! As people grow and mature, their needs, wants and desires change and grow with them. And for me, that is very much what happened. Although I made some wonderful friends, I got to a point where I no longer wanted to be a back up singer in somebody else's love song. I wanted to find someone of my own to write a duet with. so I began to read more and explore different things. From the age of 24 to about 37, I was in and out of the swinging scene. I moved to where I live now probably around 12 years ago and although I am no longer actively participating in swinging events, I have still managed to maintain the friendships with the couples that I met that very first year that I lived here! I have learned a lot during my time in the Kink community simply by trial and error and by learning from my own mistakes and the mistakes that I see others making. The group that I spent the most time with, we were a large group of friends who got together every weekend and at the end of the night if clothes started coming off, well then, more fun for everyone! 😉 over the years people came in and out of our group, and you could always tell who the couples were that were not going to make it. likewise you could point out the single folks who were there constantly stirring the pot counterclockwise and causing all the drama! Fortunately those folks never seemed to stay around long. here Ive noticed a lot of young ladies and gentlemen making posts saying you know, they're lonely , depressed, overwhelmed , whatever..., and then they disappear never to be seen or heard from again. So I guess really what I'm trying to say is, if you are just flying through here checking your personal and not stopping to explore the site and to stopping to making friends, you are truly doing yourself a disservice! your missing out on building some great lifelong friendships /relationships! This truly is a community full of people who care and who have been where you have been at some point in their life. And if you stop and take the time to smell the roses, so to say, you'll find that the people here will offer you great advice, they will offer you comfort, they will share in your joy and triumphs and be a shoulder for you to lean and cry on during your trials. We will be here for all of your ups and downs should you take the time to get to know us! if you have to take a step back for a little while to reevaluate what you're doing, I totally get that, but please find your way back! Important things I think every little and daddy should remember: #1 you are nobody's play thing! #2 you are nobody's ATM! #3 you are a person worth knowing! if anyone is not treating you as such they are not worth your time or effort! # 4 be truthful with yourself and with others You're gonna talk to a lot of people here and you're not gonna click with everyone at least not romantically. for me, even if I don't click with someone romantically as long as they haven't been pushy or a jerk or tried to take advantage of my giving nature , then I can be adult enough to simply remain friends. #5 make lemonade!- I say it often and I truly mean it! I said it just today actually . when life throws lemons at you , make lemonade! And pass it out! You can always find something positive in your day whether it's something tiny, just that one thing is still enough to keep the momentum going, you just have to do some searching sometimes to find the light! (and ya know, if anything, you can always use those lemons to beam anybody in the head that annoys you!! 😉🤣🤣) If you took the time to actually read through this whole post then I hope you found something useful in here, something thought provoking to make you take another look at what you're truly doing here! peace, love, and happy thoughts, ~K

@Aikko @SquirtleSquad @Little Nyx @littlegala @Looksee @MissNMTX @Flower_Dragon @Zina @Sicarie @Daddy Bear 77 @kryssi01 If I have missed anyone please let me know!!! So I am finally puting into effect a very cool thing. So I personally will be making all NNC members their own "reading profile" What this means is I will make a special graphic for each person that highlights who they are as readers and is a fun individual thing. Below I am listing the things I need to know. Please feel free to DM me these things or if you are more comfy you can post it here. These may take me a little while so please be patient and I am a one man show. Things I need to know: 1. Favorite colors and any other decorative styles you like 2. Nickname if you like (it will already include your screen name) 3. Favorite book 4. Favorite quote 5. Genres you read 6. Favorite author 7. Favorite troupe 8. Biggest dislike in a book when you read it 9. Character you would spend a day with 10. Physical or Kindle or audio books? 11. I will need a picture you want incorporated in. Doesnt gave to be your face at all. 12. One random fun fact about you Thanks guys and I look forward to this fun little thing!!!

Here are this month's submissions for the coloring contest. Y'all know what to do. Good luck everyone. Voting will close Saturday the 2nd SweetLittleDreamer SquirtleSquad Prince MissAnna littlegala LittleAmbi Little Nyx Lil_K47 Daddy Bear 77 BabyPoppy

as someone that does digital art, coloring digitally is just as valid as pen and paper methods. all art done by ones own hand takes time and effort, no matter the medium. so don't downplay yourself just because you used and app! the turtle looks nice btw! so colorful! 😁 i like that there's a bit of texture in some parts~

Hope it’s not too late! Here’s my entry

Hello, Hi, Friendly neighbourhood Soul here!! Life lately has felt like an emotional rollercoaster, full throttle, no seatbelt, and definitely no “pause” button. Coming off a high dosage of Sertraline (Zoloft, for my American friends) cold turkey wasn’t exactly the brightest idea, but it was something I felt I had to do to confront the tidal wave of emotions surrounding my mum’s illness. Her passing ( can you believe it’s been 3 months) hit me like a truck!!! grief is no joke. It can chew you up and spit you out without warning. I won’t sugarcoat it: I became irritable, miserable, and felt completely lost. But in the middle of that storm, I remembered the one thing I was asked, don’t push people away. So I didn’t. Instead, I leaned on my people, those close friends, whether online or offline, who didn’t flinch at my ugly days and didn’t back off when I had nothing left to give. Piece by piece, they helped put me back together. Not fixed, but functioning. Not over it, but getting through it. Does it still hurt? Absolutely. Grief doesn’t just pack up and leave quietly. But having friends, real friends, has made all the difference. So here’s to you. To the ones who stood by me when I was at my worst! You're the tough ones. The strong ones. The real champs. If you’re reading this and ever find yourself in the dark, please don’t hesitate to reach out. If I can help in any way, I will!! because that’s what friends do. We stick together. Thick and thin. Highs and lows. Always. Much love, 💛 Soul

I wish I had some optimistic and encouraging words. Sadly, grief is permanent as it's continued love. Flip sides of the very same coin. Loss and grief stay, but so does the love and the memories. In some strange way, they might be even more alive now. I've lost a lot of loved ones over the years, but they are alive to me in music, food, so many things.

I feel like I've been on this forum long enough that I can say age really is just a number. It has nothing to do with maturity or embodiment of the dynamic. If course, we all have preferences, but honestly those really are just preferences that don't have much to do with anything. It's really just about who click with. Conversation, laughter, care...none of that has anything to do with age.

That's a really good question, and honestly I believe the age gap would be based on what the person's preference is. There are a lot of doms that prefer littles younger than them, there are some that don't mind the age differences. There are some littles who want a Dom around their age or maybe older. It just depends on what makes you happy and what you are comfortable with. Me personally I'm happy with my partners age, but yes I've had littles who were a lot younger than me. Its all about balance and honestly it's all about what you again are comfortable with. Remember you can be happy with someone who is the same age as you, older than you or younger than you are. So many Dom's and Littles get caught up on ages that they miss out on meeting some wonderful people.

I will always stand up for men - and I will also always be the devils advocate. As angry or mean as I might sound or seem to some - I am very anti “stand up for all littles.” I’ve seen first hand , too many men , in your exact position and littles are made out to be saints. Yes , some littles are coerced and taken advantage of. But the amount of the ~actual~ number of this happening is much lower than people realize. When littles cry wolf they’re almost always trusted to be honest and transparent. Men / caregivers are made out to be monsters and a small minority are deemed “good” … until another little cries wolf. I could go on about that topic for a very extended amount of time - but it leads me back to yourself. Just because other men have been bad , just because some littles have been treated badly - does that mean you have to have the same story for yourself ? I don’t think so. I believe with your behavior on the forum , especially your heartfelt posts on this situation - you’ve got a really good chance at finding someone who wants the exact same thing as you and will not make you feel undervalued. This can be genderless but for the sake of this situation I’ll be blunt and precise : Don't dwindle yourself , your wants , your happiness or your desires for any woman. Friendship is a ploy , one of my favorite sayings about women and monkeys fo hand in hand … “Women are like monkeys.. they won’t let go of the first branch until they know the second branch can hold their weight.” Have you ever consider you might be the second branch in this situation ? Don’t let yourself be a branch - be the whole tree my friend. 🫶🏼

I won't say a lot since others have laid a good foundation and I know DM will be back to frame it all out. I will say this is why I refuse to do platonic or babysitting. Feelings always get involved because we are humans and thats what we do. And to try and give someone the care they deserve in a relationship/dynamic without feelings is impossible and unrealistic. Why would I ask if you slept ok or if you remembered to eat if I didn't care ? I wouldn't. Why would I spend my time chatting with someone and learning about them if I didn't care on some level ? I wouldn't. Sounds like they want a (and I hate this term) situationship. Be here when I want you and for what I want and thats it. But even then, why would I want someone checking on me and doing things for me if I knew they didn't care one way or the other about me ? That to me is ridiculous. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and do what is right for you.

I PROMISE I WILL BE BACK ! It’s hard to write my novels during work hours 😭

For my Daddy and I the relationship comes first and foremost with the DDlg dynamic inside that bigger bubble. There may be times of stress or crisis that necessitate we set the DDlg dynamic to one side temporarily but neither of us can foresee something that would lead us to set our relationship aside. For instance, when my Daddy had surgery He needed additional physical care and support so that's what I provided to Him. It doesn't mean a gentle Daddy cuddle was off the table but it did mean He needed a supportive adult partner which is what He had because of the relationship. Honestly if He told me, "we don't have a relationship. We have a dynamic.", I'd be out. Without that emotional connection I personally don't understand or see the point.

Here is my entry as well. Hopefully also not late. It's from an app but it still took a while to do but it definitely doesn't deserve full credit as the people that used real paper and coloring implements. I just wanted to participate.

@Cranius Thank you ! I’m glad parts of my post could resonate with you and the fact that you appreciated it at all ! I think little boys are extremely undervalued and unappreciated. I’m glad you’re here and that you’ve taken the time to explore who you are and what you want - you really do seem like an insightful , thoughtful , caring and intelligent little boy. A little rockstar actually 🐒🫧 I hope you continue to post and share your thoughts and experiences as I’ve enjoyed reading your posts during your time with us as well. 🫶🏼

Those are all great points @DaddysMonkey, some of which I didn't even see or consider. One of my first posts on these forums was about my shame for wanting an MDLB lifestyle for about eight years. It actually started as a fetish for me, and then I experienced parts of the fetish, and realized it was a lifestyle choice for me. I at least have the desire to pursue that lifestyle now and didn't before. Fortunately, having recognized that, I can be open and honest about that. I made the mistake of fetishizing the lifestyle, without understanding that the lifestyle piece existed, and that fetish =/= lifestyle. Related: I also mistook bottoming for submission, i.e. receiving pleasurable acts =/= lifestyle submission. I'm sure many young men conflate these topics. The social pressure and shame you mentioned, from the male perspective, rings very true in my own story. Those social forces are so strong that it took the destruction of the typical American dream for me to pursue MDLB seriously. To contextualize the potency of those social forces and expectations, for me that meant: Being laid off Losing a monogamous partner of 2.5 years Experiencing a robbery, car accident, house repairs and market losses which combined to well over $20,000 in monetary losses-- which contributed to "cracking" my need to show or display strength, and begin exploration of MDLB. So, those social forces persisted to such an extent that only I was only emotionally ready to pursue an MDLB lifestyle after I'd lost and re-engineered most of my personal and professional life. And I'm still in the process of doing that, this is all still new to me, but those social expectations precluded all of that exploration. I would imagine that many prospective little boys silently feel that same shame, even if they never reply or react to this post. The other reasons you mentioned from the mommy perspective are likely equally as potent, although I've no experience with them. Your point about femininity in little boys was insightful and thought provoking. I had not yet considered femininity as an axis of desirability from the mommy perspective. I can say that the occasional sissification is a fetish for me, having experienced that, but that I believe I am more traditional in the lifestyle of being a little boy. I say "believe" because I haven't had a mommy yet, and to some degree, everything I am saying about an MDLB dynamic is based on a combination of my romantic relationships, bedroom experience, and knowledge of myself as a person, without any lived experience. Succinctly put, my first experience as a sissy was one of the impetuses to pursue MDLB, but I'm pursing it from a more traditional perspective, and I'm pursuing MDLB as a lifestyle rather than a fetish (although those sexual components are part of my little identity). That journey, coupled with conquering shame, took almost a decade. I commend you for brilliantly articulating many of these often insidious and nebulous factors. I learned a lot and got valuable perspectives. Thank you!

Remember, even as a sub, you have all the power. You can and should say NO to anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Today after we went grocery shopping we all went down to the river. I got some really cool photos of my G.G. Labubu and when we were goofing around in the water we realized there was baby salmon and trout swimming around us !!! In true Monkey fashion I was absolutely mesmerized and had to try to catch one of the biggest fish I could see. Dad says the one I almost caught was a Trout ! :3 I moved really really slow and got him used to me and I touched him twice and he didn’t even move ! Then when I almost caught him he slipped right of my hand and swam super fast straight ahead of me but he didn’t swim alllll the way away hehehehe. It’s like he knew I was just playing with him. Heres some videos of my almost catching a fish with my bare hands as well as some of my Labubu River photos 🥰

I'm not a CG, but I wanted to throw this out here-- us littles really do appreciate all that you do for us! You are kind, generous, open-hearted. You allow us to relax and be ourselves. You allow us spaces to laugh, cry, hug, and play. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders so that we don't have to bear it alone. I know I speak for all littles when I say: we love you daddy/mommy! And we're here to take care of you, too. We will bring you laughter, joy, love, silliness, and childlike wisdom. We will give back to you! Thanks for giving so much to us!

Thank you @Cranius your kind words means a lot to me. I am still learning who I am, but that's the beautiful thing about life. You are never too old to try something new @-Soul- is constantly helping me learn that I am okay just being me because I do talk an insanely amount, I get super hyper and I get extremely excited over small things. Seriously he has Harry Potter gummies and I freaked out for hours. Not that I'm obsessed with Harry Potter, who me? No never okay maybe a little bit like this much 🤏 lol Wait calm down Anna, but again thank you for your kind words

Thank you daddy @-Soul- is right @Cranius you aren't too much nor should you be ashamed of being a little. I struggle daily thinking I am an imposter for being a middle when I was a Mommy Dom for 20 plus years. Its a feeling I deal with daily and the guilt, sometimes weighs me down, because I'm always thinking I'm not good enough. Or that I will never measure up to being a true little or middle. I have to thank Soul, my daddy for helping me and keeping me level headed, as well as reminding me I'm not too much. I talk a lot and ramble too, plus I get sidetracked like a squirrel on a fence riding a gummy bear looking for his lost acorns. Our door is always open if you need a friend, please don't be so hard on yourself. You have a whole community behind you now, you're not alone anymore. Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved

Hello! Hi! Friendly neighbourhood Soul here! I can’t give a little perspective being a CG myself but I wanted to say thank you so much for sharing your story so openly, it takes real courage to put all of that out there, and I just want to say, it absolutely matters. What you said about shame really hit home. You're definitely not alone in that in fact so many folks (especially male littles) wrestle with the same inner dialogue you described. Society does a fantastic job at telling boys to "man up," and not a great job at leaving space for softness, care, and vulnerability. So it’s no surprise that MDLB dynamics can feel like swimming upstream. But here's the beautiful part!! you're swimming anyway. You're here. You’re talking about it. You’re beginning to explore and embrace a part of yourself that’s always been there and that’s incredibly brave. You’re not "too late," you’re right on time for your journey. You also nailed something I really appreciate, the idea that MDLB challenges traditional expectations in a way that can feel unsettling at first. That discomfort? It’s not a flaw. It’s the growing pains of unlearning stuff we were never supposed to carry alone in the first place. I promise you, you do have something to offer in a dynamic, not just to a Mommy Dom, but to yourself. Littles bring so much joy, creativity, emotional depth, and honesty into this world. The idea that you’re “too much” or “not enough” is a lie shame tells to keep us from connection. Something I am constantly reminding my @MissAnna! So thank you again. For being here. For writing this. For helping other little boys who might be scrolling quietly and thinking, “Maybe it’s not just me.” You’re already making this space a little more welcoming, just by being you. Looking forward to seeing more of you around! – Soul

Honestly, so long as all parties are over 18 the age gap isn't really important. I've seen folks 2 years apart fail and couples 30 years apart work. I think what is far more important is maturity and common goals. My Wife and I are 2 years apart and have been married 19 years and my Boyfriend and I are 21 years apart and have been together almost 7 years. Does a larger age gap present different challenges than a smaller age gap, sure. Are those challenges harder, I'd say no, just different.

Hello! Hi! Friendly neighbourhood Soul here.. I just wanted to say, thank you for taking the time to share this. It’s not always easy putting something real and reflective out into the world, especially when your usual vibe leans more toward lighthearted mischief (many people here can relate!). Your post is the kind of grounded wisdom that reminds folks there's a lot more to this lifestyle (and this community) than just flashy profiles and fleeting conversations. The insight you shared about growth, connection, and slowing down is something I think a lot of people need to hear, especially those who are new here or feeling lost in the shuffle. I really respect the way you framed your experience, not as a “let me teach you” moment, but as “here’s what I’ve seen, and maybe it’ll help you too.” That’s how real connection starts. Also… “no longer wanting to be a backup singer in someone else’s love song”? That line is perfection and one I will use when advising people going forward. Thanks again for showing up as one of the pillars of this community, with your quirky, wise, encouraging self. The community is stronger for it. Peace, laughter, and the occasional well-aimed lemon, —Soul

i'm really sorry you've had a rough week, I'm not gonna try to offer up any more advice because I think Miss Anna and Mr Soul said everything really well! You most definitely do deserve to feel valued and if you're not getting that out of your relationship/dynamic whatever you wanna call it then perhaps you are doing the right thing by taking a step back and reevaluating. Know that we're all here to listen to what you have to say, and your thoughts are valued here! we will offer all the emotional support that we can! Big hugs, and hoping the coming weeks will start the healing process for you.

Hello! Hi! Friendly neighbourhood Soul here! First off, I just want to say thank you for putting this out there with such raw honesty. It takes courage to speak from a place of emotional vulnerability, especially in a community where people can sometimes hide behind semantics or roles instead of addressing the human side of things. You’re absolutely right to question that statement: “We don't have a relationship. We have a dynamic.” Because, truth be told, that phrase sounds like a wall, something someone might say to maintain emotional distance while still reaping the comfort, structure, or attention that comes with being in a dynamic. But here’s the thing: even dynamics are relationships. The DDlg structure doesn’t exempt us from basic emotional truths. A dynamic isn't a sterile machine running on protocols, it’s two (or more) people interacting through a shared understanding, yes, but also through emotion, care, and connection. What you’ve described, being emotionally involved, wanting mutual respect, needing communication, that’s not weakness. That’s the foundation of any healthy relationship, regardless of its flavor. And let’s be clear: respect goes both ways. As a Care Giver, you deserve to feel heard, valued, and seen! not just for what you provide, but for who you are. If someone is leaning on the "it's just a dynamic" line to avoid emotional accountability, that's not a structure issue; it's a boundary and care issue. We don't get into this lifestyle to play house with our feelings turned off. DDlg isn’t just about roles, it’s about safety, connection, and, yes, love (in whatever form that takes). When that connection starts to feel one-sided or dismissed, it hurts. And you're right again: relationship and dynamic aren't mutually exclusive. They coexist! just like structure and emotion should. You’re not wrong for wanting both. You’re not "too much" for expecting communication, emotional reciprocity, and respect. You’re just someone who values the real connections this lifestyle can offer and if you feel like that’s missing, it’s okay to name that, and to re-evaluate what’s best for your heart. Thanks for voicing what I know many in this space have felt. Keep holding that standard! you deserve nothing less. With respect, —Soul P.S - sorry if anything I said was a hard truth and upset you, I am rooting for you

I will be back to reply to this - just marking my piss spot here so I don’t forget to drop Monkey wisdom.

It’s really hard to know if it’s a red flag or not.. because that could be either. I would start by asking if he could further explain what he meant by it. If his hesitant to or it feels disingenuous then I would say it’s a red flag. I suggest seeking his clarification as he could have also meant that he simply wants little space to be somewhere you go because you enjoy it & not as an escape from things. but, I want to stress that I can’t say either way as I don’t have the context around it. So he is the best person to ask that & then decide from there. for your question of little space being about enjoyment and play.. absolutely it can, not all littles go into little space because they have past traumas. Theres a number of littles who go into little space simply because it brings them joy, to unwind if they have had a stressful day or for whatever reason they may. You won’t lose your little side if you find someone safe, in fact it may have the opposite effect, your little side may blossom and grow the more comfortable you feel with someone. some advice to leave you with, if your gut says something isn’t right.. listen to it, there’s usually a reason for it. If vibes change that’s ok, that’s part of getting to know someone & there’s nothing wrong with it. Never feel like you can’t ask advice & reach out to people on here, there are so many people who are a wealth of knowledge and give such good advice & they are always more then willing to help. anyway I hope I was able to help a little

*waves* Could I also join whenever the next book after lights out begins x

If you are looking for little books with smut and romance, then i suggest Laylah Roberts and Kate Oliver. They are too of my favs. i if

You definitely should. You can also take part now and vote for this months winner here ....

@littlegala @Aikko @SquirtleSquad How goes the reading friends? Will we be all caught up by tomorrow? This week has been a little hectic but more questions are coming!!!

Mr. Soul, don’t underestimate or forget your own strength, I know you say those that stayed were the strong ones, but Mr. Soul one of the strongest things people can do is make the choice to lean on their support system and not push them away. And as someone who so often chooses to shut down & shut out, I can say that with 100% confidence and knowledge in the truth of it.

You will find me literally break dancing in the isles when a good song comes on 🤭😂

For me it came from listening first to others, then deeper to myself. I felt most like me when I was creating a space for someone a space safe enough to be playful yet vulnerable. This ain’t just a kink, but my life. Protecting that space, nurturing it, guiding it.. that felt right in my bones. This is just me.

I need to hang out with Monkey, they having all the funs

Crystal Clear water, looks fun.

Thank you for the kind words @MissAnna! I have seen some of your other posts and I appreciate how caring and welcoming you have been. Thanks for taking the time to read this and leave a note. It means a lot. Thanks for the kind words @-Soul-. Your point about unlearning the discomfort is a great way to reframe all of this. I appreciate the supportive and insightful reply, and that you took the time to read it. The worst thing I can do right now is hurry-- I'm doing my best to really sit with all of these feelings, process them, be present with them, and then continue forward in spite of them. I'm learning to view my little side not as a separate person to be excluded, but as an extension of myself to be encouraged. One wonderful thing about this place, in contrast to Fetlife, is that there seem to be very few negative posts and more emphasis on the emotional side of little/CG dynamics, which is great to see! There is so much wisdom and kindness here, and it's an honor to be a part of that.

Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable! What stuck out to me is the striking and simple observation that a dynamic is encased in a relationship. The rules, regulation, negotiation-- they're all part of the greater whole: connecting with someone on a more meaningful level. I'm sorry that you don't feel valued-- everyone deserves to feel that way. Your vulnerability has reminded me that we can have the best dynamics in the world-- the clearest negotiations, rules, quirks, interpersonal interaction. It's all moot if the overarching relationship isn't healthy or present. We can be good littles or bigs for someone, but, more importantly, we have to be good for that person overall, too! EDIT: And that person has to be good for us!

I absolutely love this 🥰 If you ever read my post you know I lost my brother due to mental health issues, this makes me so happy that there is someone like me who takes men's mental health seriously 🥰

That’s what family & friends are for sissy. I’ll never not be stood by your side fighting with you, or reminding you how amazing, wonderful, kind and bad ass (and I’m not sorry for saying a bad word this time) you are after all your a total and complete TFPSW.

my grandparents live in the lakes and i grew up spending summers there! such a beautiful place and so many fond memories of happy mount park in morcambe with my cousins or the cartmel races! and that’s without taking into account how beautiful it is up there. port isaac in cornwall is also gorgeous but i have a growing fondness for suffolk having spent some time there last summer. if you visit, i recommend a day of feeding ducks and rowing on the meare in thorpeness - a swan even ate right out of my hand!

The following is a rather objective piece, gathered from many forum posts of people who do not know what to do or know what their relationship has become. Nature of DD/LG The nature of DD/LG is to guide and enrich both the lives of the Dominant and the Little. This is not a one sided relationship. This is not a relationship that is meant to be used to control or manipulate someone. Many posts on here allude to a relationship that is more fitting of a Master & Slave Dynamic. This is fine, as long as the consent is there. While manipulation and abuse is often seen as a man abusing or manipulating a woman, we must accept that abuse and manipulation can happen to anyone from anyone. While a majority of Doms would love for their Little to rely on them for every mundane task, this is not feasible nor is it healthy. I very often see insulting and ridiculous comments such as: “Littles should not do x.” “You are a Little, you cannot do x.” Littles are adults, they are fully capable and functioning human beings. As a Dom, once again, your task it to help nurture and enrich your Little. Don’t encourage them to become mentally and emotionally reliant on you, this is counterproductive and at times abusive. Help them become the productive members of society you know they can be. As a Little it is also up to you to gain independence. Being a Caregiver is a very difficult and draining job. You cannot expect someone to make your every decision for you. This is equally draining and abusing what a Caregiver is. If there is some part of normal life you struggle with (making phone calls, socializing, doing school work) talk to your Caregiver about how they can HELP you with these things. Note that being a helpless damsel in distress is fun for play time and Little Space but not something that should be encouraged for daily life. Consent Consent is the most important aspect of any relationship. Consent is when both parties agree upon something, this relates to rules, punishments, daily interactions and sexy time. Just because you have consented to something it the past does not mean you have to consent now. Just because someone consented to something before does not mean they are obligated to consent now. Feelings and situations can and will change. If you find yourself uncomfortable with something you once consented to, use your Safe Word. This is a wonderful and informative video on consent, please give it a watch (NSFW) Click here. Safe words A safe word is something that needs to be created in the beginning of a relationship. Think of a safe word as your Life Raft. This word/term means it is time to pause the dynamic. This shuts down whatever play is happening and allows the two of you to discuss what is going on. If you are uncomfortable or nervous with where a situation is heading, use your Safe Word. A Safe Word must at all times be honored. If someone uses a Safe Word, it is your job to discuss that with them. Do not blame yourself or the other person, do not get angry, listen to them and respect their decision. Positive reinforcement vs control Punishment should fit the crime. Punishment must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand. Punishment should fit the crime. Punishment must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand. Punishment should fit the crime. Punishment must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand. I really hope that has sank into any one reading this. It is that important. Harsh rules or punishments that were not previously agreed upon. Different strokes for different folks, many may like the following punishments and that is okay as long as both parties agreed to it. Examples of controlling and abusive punishments Taking away the right to bathe or shower Taking away the right to eat Taking away communication (with partner or anyone else, this includes friends or family members) Taking away lights Taking away clothing Taking away the right to use the bathroom Taking away social interaction (ie going online, going to a friends house, visiting family members) If it takes away a basic human necessity, it is abusive. No one can foresee the future. There most likely will come a time when you see a new rule or punishment should be implemented. That is okay! But first you must talk to your partner about it. You cannot decided to enforce a new rule without your partner knowing, people can’t read minds, they can’t possibly know what they did wrong and cannot be expected to accept a punishment added for no conceivable reason. Manipulation Tactics: Threatening self harm. This is a popular trend in all forms of relationships, it a powerful and usually successful. Using a threat of self harm is not okay. It is abuse and it is a tactic for controlling someone. You should be able to talk to your partner if you are feeling upset, hurt or depressed but bringing it up as a way to keep someone around is NOT okay. “If you do x I am going to do x to myself” “If you ever leave me I am going to x” Verbal abuse. When you tell someone something enough, they will start to believe it. Never underestimate the power of your words and the effect they can and will have on others. This can work in a good or bad way. “You are ugly”, “No one will love you”, “You are stupid”, “I wish I never met you” Vs “You are beautiful”,”I love you”, “You are intelligent”, “I am happy you are in my life” Making you feel guilty over commonplace and simple, small things. Guilt is a powerful emotion and can have a person doing things they wouldn’t ordinarily do to please someone. If you find yourself no longer able to do normal things like see your friends, visit family, go out, enjoy healthy hobbies you previously had, etc without feeling overwhelming guilt from your partner, this is not okay. Gas Lighting. Gas Lighting is very common in any type of relationship. It is a gradual process with devastating effects. It essentially causes a person to question their feelings, emotions and sanity. For a more in depth look at Gas Lighting please read this article. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted Getting angry about small things, or things beyond your control. If you are in an abusive relationship, close proximity or LDR help is out there. National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453 National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324 Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722 Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111 Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline: (UK Only) 0345 023 468 Sexual Abuse Centre: (UK Only) 0117 935 1707 Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001 Relationships Australia: 1300-364-277 Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 800-656-HOPE (4673) Abuse Not: 0808 8005015 (UK) Women’s Aid National (UK) Domestic Violence Helpline 0345 023 468 (UK)