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What are you looking for in a partner


PeppermintBatty
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Hey guys!

I was interested in knowing what sorts of things other littles look for in a partner. I think it's interesting to see how other people's tastes and relationships work.

 

The things I'm looking for are intelligence (usually the ability to hold a conversation and make deductions), open mindedness (to accept the weird stuff that makes up my lifestyle), and patient authority (to listen, help, make decisions with me).

 

What are you looking for?

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Hey guys!

I was interested in knowing what sorts of things other littles look for in a partner. I think it's interesting to see how other people's tastes and relationships work.

 

The things I'm looking for are intelligence (usually the ability to hold a conversation and make deductions), open mindedness (to accept the weird stuff that makes up my lifestyle), and patient authority (to listen, help, make decisions with me).

 

What are you looking for?

 

this exactly + humor

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When I look for a daddy it's like looking for a better version of a regular boyfriend haha. They obviously should be kinda nurturing, have a sense of humor and think I'm funny, they have to be intelligent 'cause I like to have deep conversations sometimes, good communicators are important too since I don't like feeling like things are one sided. You have to have patience, I realize I can be a handful at times and that I'm bratty (even if I don't mean to be) and I can really test your patience but if you can just bare with me I promise I'll make it up to you and be the best little girl. Also you have to be attentive and understanding, I won't flat out tell you exactly how much I need you, but I drop hints and try to make it apparent when I'd really appreciate your attention. Lastly (I think) you have to be fun! I wanna play with you and make jokes and cuddle you and just love you to death. If you're too serious it won't be as much fun for either of us.
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As a Master, I value honor, loyalty, obedience, and enthusiasm above all else.

 

It is, of course, very important to be able to communicate honestly. If you don’t have that, what do you have? Submission should not extinguish choice, for it, in itself, IS a choice. There is little value of a ‘yes’ that is forced. 

 

I value a submissive who is stubborn and determined - the type of person who's love for me aspires them to consistently improve themselves. The kind of submissive who thinks, "I won't settle for being someone's spoiled brat, pampered pet, or sex slave. I can be so much more. People will compliment my Master on my outstanding service. Master will wonder how he ever survived without me."

 

To be fair to her, I do already have someone in my life who thinks this way.

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Bull: That's exactly how I think with my dom. He's very hands off so our relationship has a lot of choice in it. I find myself making a lot of decisions. I think some people are scared of those.

 

I don't aspire to give great service, but I do aspire for self improvement, and the improvement of my family around me. I like to be the "matriarch" type, that keeps the family going (much like a female lion in a pride of lions).

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Well before I got my partner I was always looking for somebody who would truly understand me and accept me for who I was. When I introduced my partner to the dynamic (after having discovered it myself) he was totally willing to give it a go! And he always has been with everything as long as its with me. Thats probably my number one. And then somebody who will push me to be my best and not let me settle for less than I deserve or can achieve.

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I think trust would be most important to me, ive had a lot of bad situations with relationships before because I trusted what people said and ended up getting really hurt. I dont think I could start a relationship with someone i couldn't trust completley.
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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm looking for lots of love, trust, commitment and protection/devotion. Shared interests and a sense of humor is a bonus. Luckily my daddy has all these traits. 

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This is actually a really great question. I have always kind of jumped from relationship to relationship. I've never had to actually really do a lot of 'looking'. I do find that I look for the ability to hold an intelligent conversation, non judgement of choices in my life that I have made, ability to deal with me in general, humor and caring. Luckily Daddy has all that and more. <3

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest harlequinkid

I think that I really need to have a stronger sense of self before I go looking for any kind of relationship with someone new. I really like the idea of being friends with someone for a long time & getting to know them really well before getting involved in anything that's romantic in nature. Sometimes I have trouble telling the difference between liking someone as a friend & liking them in a romantic way. (Sometimes I'm completely romance repulsed & don't want a romantic relationship at all.) A queerplatonic relationship is something that I'm very interested in having at some point in the future. 

 

In terms of what I'm looking for in a partner, I absolutely want someone who respects my boundaries & limits, & doesn't try to push them. I want someone who respects me & who I respect. I want someone that I can talk easily to (at least most of the time), someone I can have deep conversations with, someone who values communication highly. I want someone that I feel safe being honest with (& someone who feels safe being honest with me); someone who doesn't try to get me to answer questions that I'm not comfortable with (or do things I'm not comfortable with).  I don't like taking things too seriously & want someone I can joke around with; humor is very important to me. Having similar interests is also pretty important to me; I want to be with someone that I have things in common with.  I also love it when people are nurturing towards me, so that would be really nice as well.

 

(Wow, that sounds like a lot of requirements/wants on my part  :unsure: )

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After a little bit of thinking, I've come to realize there's at least one trait that I ultimately want in my partner that I just can't avoid. The ability to make their own decisions and take responsibility. And what I mean by that even in terms of my own relationships is that while I have no problem with that control over someone's life, I want the person to be able to take control of their life if I'm having an off day/week.

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Guest Prince

I think that I really need to have a stronger sense of self before I go looking for any kind of relationship with someone new. I really like the idea of being friends with someone for a long time & getting to know them really well before getting involved in anything that's romantic in nature. Sometimes I have trouble telling the difference between liking someone as a friend & liking them in a romantic way. (Sometimes I'm completely romance repulsed & don't want a romantic relationship at all.) A queerplatonic relationship is something that I'm very interested in having at some point in the future. 

 

In terms of what I'm looking for in a partner, I absolutely want someone who respects my boundaries & limits, & doesn't try to push them. I want someone who respects me & who I respect. I want someone that I can talk easily to (at least most of the time), someone I can have deep conversations with, someone who values communication highly. I want someone that I feel safe being honest with (& someone who feels safe being honest with me); someone who doesn't try to get me to answer questions that I'm not comfortable with (or do things I'm not comfortable with).  I don't like taking things too seriously & want someone I can joke around with; humor is very important to me. Having similar interests is also pretty important to me; I want to be with someone that I have things in common with.  I also love it when people are nurturing towards me, so that would be really nice as well.

 

(Wow, that sounds like a lot of requirements/wants on my part  :unsure: )

That sounds fair. Mine are similar 

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I personal, being new to finding my daddy, don't really know what I am looking for because I haven't found it. 

I do know these things are important to me though:

  1. Someone who is serious about the lifestyle because if i had my way i would be a 24/7 little and you cant be one if your 'Daddy' isn't serious.
  2. Someone not just looking for sex or 'a good time'.
  3. Someone who will be okay with me being as needy and anxiety/worried i get; they have to be willing to put up with checking in with me all the time or tell me when they cant talk but what time they can cus i honestly worries otherwise.
  4. They have to be okay with diapers, cuddling and my kinks; course that's a given i guess.
  5. They has to be okay with setting and keeping me on a schedule and stuff like that cus i honestly need that cus i can do it myself but if someone isn't keeping me on it i just don't.

 

I guess i want know 100% what all i need till i find the right one >< but for now those are some really big things on my list.

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As a Daddy, what I appreciate most about my Little is devotion, unconditional love, and being very affectionate. She also will indulge my simple requests such as cutesy meows and yawns. In return I give her wisdom, attention, patience and freedom to be herself.

 

I will say for me patience is probably the hardest thing, not because she is taxing, more of my own personal issue in past relationships, of wanting to talk so much to the point of pestering. Strange thing is this fallacy only becomes apparent in this aspect of my life. I am an extremely patient person in regards to everything else even in some of the most trying situations. However since this is my first DD/lg relationship I've really put myself into the mindset of a patient mentor. As long as I get an hour or two of devoted daddy time, which usually happens closer to bed time, I am happy. The rest of the day she is free to do what she does.

I don't see myself as being very strict, I prefer the idea of lead by example and I never make a rule I wouldn't normally follow myself (with certain Daddy exemptions, for example i do not want my little to drink, especially without me being aware of it, whereas I'll have a beer once ina while). I prefer she see all her options and let logic dictate the outcome. I don't believe in the concept of "just because" there is an explanation behind every rule I create for her. I also allow her to create rules for me if she chooses to, which she doesn't at the moment.

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  • 3 months later...
Guest Miss Braid

I want someone who can think about complicated situations (especially social ones) and make a good choice. 

 

We need to share at least 2 interests.

 

I need someone who can be very gentle with me, but who will firmly lead me.

 

I need someone who is at least mildly spiritual and preferably egalitarian (complementarians are okay as long as they think all people have equal worth)

 

Responsiblity is important.

 

I'd prefer someone with dry/dark humor, not someone who jokes all the time.

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Guest PrincessKappi

Very good question!!!!

 

Number one for me .....

Must take the role of Daddy seriously. This means understanding that littles are complex and need nurturing. A Daddy shouldn't take on a little unless you seriously want this dynamic and all it entails. Gotta jump in the pool...can't just stick your feet in.

 

2. Be committed to just me. "Poly...anything" doesn't work for me. It does for some, but I am not good at sharing what's mine.

 

3. Be a fun person with a good sense of humor to temper a more serious dominating side.

 

4. Be a "take charge" kind of guy. When I seek the "dom" in "DaddyDom." I'm seeking someone who is stronger than me. I need someone who is gentle, but no pushover. I love alpha males. (((sigh)))

In other words, let me be the little.

 

5. Be a Daddy with a plan. Do you ever want to see each other IRL? Want to just do online? Want 24/7 or not? Have some kind of idea what you want.

 

This isn't hard stuff. Just hoping there's a Daddy out there who's got numbers one through five! :)

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Guest curious-babydoll

Papa and I actually made this list when we started talking :3 here's mine with some stuff added:

Vanilla

- honest

- kind

- spontaneous (within reason)

- open minded

- caring

- having things in common and it not being a big deal if there's not a ton but still be able to find things to have fun doing

- being able to compromise

- trust

- be able to have fun just at home sometimes (movies/take out/cuddle, stuff like that)

- be okay with change

- able to at least tolerate my neediness/clinginess to an extent (I'm working on it)

- smart and/or likes learning

- doesn't pick at my weight or make me feel bad about it

- accepting of people who aren't different

- can not be violent

- can Not be an alcoholic (drinking sometimes is okay but I it can't affect function)

- respectful of triggers

- motivated

 

Kink

- able to just hang out with me and talk/do normal couple things (have vanilla days)

- be okay with my clingy/neediness because little Are needy

- not get annoyed with my little side/tell her to grow up (in a mean way) or purposely rip me out of little space

- wants to help me learn both in kink/school/career related (like be willing to sit down with me and help me with home work for school or just sit with me and keep me on task)

- understand my little side is Very trusting

- be able to give me rules/structure and be consist in both making me follow them or punishing me when they are broken

- be happy when my little side gets excited over something

- willing to answer questions from both my little side and submissive side and be honest when they don't know the answer

- be fair

- respect me and my limits

- if possible (depending on the person and circumstances) possibly spoiling me (nothing crazy or anything just small gifts or gestures)

- be willing to try new things even if they are iffy (as long as it's not a previously discussed hard limit and they didn't absolutely HATE it) at least three times

- not try to change my little age or at least be honest with comfort levels

- understand that I can and will be a brat at times

- be open about their needs and desires

- be able to tell me if they need a break from kink

- take things as seriously as I do

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Hmmm okay.

I want them to be a daddy. A real daddy and not the crap I've been given before. No abusive or disappearing daddies.

I want someone who appreciates me and th

I want them to be intelligent and value my intelligence well.

I want them to also be into bdsm as I am a sub as well

I'm not much of a physical person, but I would want them to be taller than me (which isn't hard I'm 4'11)

Since I'm an emotionally unstable person sometimes, I want them to accept the bad stuff and not be a jerk about it.

 

I posted on Tumblr a while back what I want in a daddy:

 

I want a daddy who will cuddle me when there are thunder and lightning storms and will spank me when I get cute and bratty. I want a daddy who will play with my stuffies with me and motivate me when I’m struggling to do my homework; who will help me with my weight loss journey and punish me playfully when I want to eat candy and chips; who will watch movies and cuddle with me and cover my eyes at scary parts; who will fuck me until I feel so faint and sore in the morning; who will engage in my kinks and help me grow as his babygirl; who will take me to the zoo and the mall and the movies and to dinner and on walks and won’t be embarrassed to meet my non-kinky friends. I want a daddy who thinks I am adorable and cute and fun and the only one for him. ^-^

 

So that's basically it.

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loving, caring, wanting to make her the best she can be, yet also knows what her Daddy excpects from his babygirl.. I rather praise than punish but im also fairly new to being a DD

 

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Hi Peppermint Batty, 

 

I realise that your initial question was posed eight months ago... alas it seems I'm always late to the party but here come my comments anyway.  I'm not really one for making lists when it comes to relationships.  In my humble opinion, lists or making a list of pros and cons to determine whether or not you should enter into a relationship is not the ideal thing to do.  We're talking about human beings here, not purchasing a house or a car or whether to buy a gym membership.  Only when you truly know someone very well, can you make the right decision for yourself and even then, mistakes can still be made.  After all, we're talking about human feelings and emotions.  Love would have to be number one for me because if you truly do love someone and they reciprocate that love, you just may have found yourself a keeper.  Love forgives all manner of mistakes with patience, kindness and understanding.  The wants and needs of both the little and the caregiver are met and everything else will fall into place when love is the basis of your relationship.  If not... then one or both people are not truly in love.  Just my opinion, that's all.

 

P.S.  Please don't anyone take personally my comments about lists.  It is only my opinion, nothing more.  

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