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My littles family


Daddydombg
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I really need some advice on this. I was approached by a little on a website. Shes 18 and im 45. She had 1 daddy before me and had been looking for months after her last 1 ended for a new daddy. Its was an instant connection. We live about 1.5 hours apart. Easy drive. We havent met in person yet, but 100s and 100s of texts, pics, calls, kiks. Heres the problem. She is just going into her senior year of highschool(she started a year late)(yes she proved to me she is 18) and lives at home with her parents. They dont know shes a little. They just think shes immature. So they are very protective and they baby her(her words). Ive seen her in liitle space and out of it. She like to spend a lot of time in it when shes at home. If i need to speak to her about something important i can just ask and she will come out of little space. Question. Has anyone come across this situation. Her and i have talked about it and seeing each other is going to be very difficult to say the least. How to deal with her family? Or not to at all?
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Guest Ginger-kit22

Hi there! So... I'd personally say that the age gap is too much, but I'm not in your situation so that's up to you two. If both of you are dead set on this relationship, and you can wait, I'd say the best bet would be to let her get through her senior year of high school and then she move out (to college, etc.). Unless her parents are super accepting, they will probably have issues with you dating their daughter. That'll just put stress on her relationship with her parents and with you and that's no good for anyone.

 

Basically, I'd just wait. If you two really want a relationship, you can afford to wait until she's graduated from high school and moved out of her parents house. In the end though that's just my opinion and I can't force it on you. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

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She's 18, she can make her own decisions. Your going to have an issue with her parents, that's just a given. Its up to the two of you if that matters or not.

 

The big question is if you think she's mature enough for that and for a relationship with someone much older than herself. Does she support herself or do her parents? If they threaten to cut her off or cut her way of communication with you can they? What can she do about it? Does she pay her own phone bills or internet? If they refuse to support her any more does that then fall onto you? Do you want to be the sole supporter of an adult?

 

The thing that stands out to me the most though is that she's 18 and says that she's had a Daddy before, months ago. How old was this "Daddy"?. How did that work with the whole parent situation?

 

I think there is a lot to consider here. Its just my opinion but at 18 most people are not mature enough or ready for a serious relationship. Especially if it means cutting ties with their financial support.

 

This doesn't mean I'm saying she's not capable of supporting herself, just that its something to consider. If she can't do it she's not mentally ready to be an adult. Being 18 is hard but I know a few people, including myself, who fully supported themselves, lived on their own, and went to school by that age. So it is possible. If she can't do it on her own and would expect you to take care of her if her parents choose to cut her off then maybe you should consider that as a sign you should be with someone more mature. Being responsible for someone who can't be responsible for them self can put a big strain on a relationship.

 

To sum it up, you need to talk to her before you meet. Ask her how she may handle different scenarios involving conflict with her parents. Ask her about her former "Daddy" and how she handled that. Bottom line is at 18 she's legally an adult so her parents can't tell her not to date you but they can make it difficult if she's completely dependent on them.

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Guest LavanderRabbit

Fuck if I was still in high school at 18 and was talking to a 45 year old my mother would kill me. (I was kicked out and graduated by 17). I can understand the situation you're in. My family doesn't like my DD and he is only a year older. They don't know I'm with him and I've been living with my grandfather. Though she may be 18, if she is still living with her parent then she is living under their rules. I do suggest setting up secret visits just to get to know each other, but she needs to graduate and go on with her life as well, including collage. Personally the age gap is really big and I wouldn't date anyone more than 5 years older than me, but that's really your choice. I will warn you once she is out of high school and not living with her parents her expectations and needs will change. She doesn't know what it's like to live in the real world quite yet and she will change.

 

My advice is get to know her, don't make it official for awhile, let her grow in the ways she needs to on her own so she can be an adult first, then see if the relationship would be right.

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