A little lost on my DDlg path...

[To.Infinity.03]

So first off I'm new, if I'm posting in the wrong section I'm sorry... but I've ran into a bit of problem. A little back story...

 

I got into my first DDLG relationship about 2 years ago. At first it wasn't so much DDlg, but we tried the dynamic towards the end trying to make things work (at least he tried.) When that ended I turned to an online BDSM community and I began talking to someone online. Things with him were fine, except we lived over one thousand miles away. So after some bad falling outs, and us trying to do a thing where he "filed in" as my daddy until I found a "proper" daddy, and finally just not talking anymore, things fizzled out.

 

Now I've met this amazing guy and we are getting really serious. Problem... I was dumb enough to think I could push back my need for a daddy. But the more I love and care about him the more I want it with him. We've done some light play, but no DDlg. We spoke lightly about my past relationships and my experience with DDlg, and he's had some experience with domination but not really like this. He seemed guarded because of it and seemed to slightly express disinterest, if anything, in have actual control in my life and me calling him "Daddy". So I never pushed it, and decided at least what we are doing is a compromise somewhat by exploring some things I like.

 

But, one night when we had went to a pizza place/bar we were drunk and doing our thing and he said to call him daddy during a command... but I was drunk so instead of jumping on the bandwagon really fast and showing him how great it could be, I froze and asked if he was sure, and he repeated the command without the daddy part and we went on like it never happened. And he is very Daddy-ish anyways and displays that caring type of control I became so used to. But since that night there has been no bondage, no commands in bed, nothing.

 

I have worried that he thinks DDlg isn't "his thing" or it was mine with someone else. But that's not true, no one has ever meant to me what he does. I never even think about wanting to go back to my exes. When I think of the dynamic I think about what I want with him not what I've had with other people. I wanna bring it back up... but I'm scared that he put the brakes on everything because he doesn't want any of it if that's the way it's gonna go and he was just drunk and turned on that night...

 

Maybe I'm just rambling. But can anyone tell me how to bring this back up to him softly? Without making him feel like he isn't enough? Because honestly as much as I think about it I would really rather still try everything with him normally than go off and find an experienced Daddy just for things to go flat because I'm in it for the dynamic and not the person. Help!!

[BabyGiraffe]

Hi! Im sorry your having such a hard time right now. Honestly i think you should just be straightforward with him, like tell him how you're so conficted and just want him. Make that the center focus first and then go into talking about the daddy dynamic with him. Tell him exactly how you feel but make sure he understands thats its only with him that you want that with and no one else. If he sees how sincere your being he might open up a little to the idea. If not then its ok. You said you want him anyway just make that known. Dont be to hard on yourself, i assume hes pretty understanding if hes kind of daddy-esque. But i send you so many good vibes to help you figure out this little problem (: its all guna work out boo

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

Any little or daddy on here will tell you it's all about open and honest communication! Express your needs, desires, fantasies etc and also allow him to do the same!

 

Don't stress too much! My path to this life was far from flawless - I think the majority of us have had bumps or derailment some point along the line. It's completely normal!

 

If he is already emotionally like a DD than id say be optimistic but don't push too fast. My Daddy went 35 yrs thinking there was something wrong with him because he always had a dominant personality - you get told that wanting someone taboo is wrong and you believe it. It takes some people time to bloom! Baby steps!

 

Dolly