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Melly's Lovely Wonderful Asexual Resource to Asexuality!


By Member Melly19912015


First off, I'm going to tell you that I'm Asexual and in a DD/lg relationship. I therefore have some experience in this area. I'm not an expert, just someone who has navigated the waters of DD/lg to a point.


Now, let me explain what Asexuality is. www.whatisasexuality.com/intro tells us that Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person has a lack of sexual attraction towards any gender. Also, it states that about one percent of the population is estimated to be Asexual. Asexuality is not being celibate, a choice, nor a fear of sex. In short, it's how we are made. Just like someone that may be heterosexual or homosexual didn't choose to be how they are, neither did we.


Okay, so now you know we can't connect on a sexual level. Guess what? It's not the end of the world! To us, emotional intimacy is mainly where it's at. We like connecting with our partner. We like talking, and getting to know things about each other. Just because we don't enjoy one type of intimacy, doesn't mean everything is out of bounds. Heck, some of us even like kissing too! So what can you do? Well, that's pretty simple. Talk to us, listen to us, and learn our likes and dislikes! Just treat us like regular people. We aren't aliens from another planet!


So, how does this fit into DD/lg? To put it plainly, it fits very well if you're willing to be flexible and work with it. Sex doesn't have to be a part of a relationship for it to be healthy. We can still build forts, snuggle stuffies, play games, and be a little or a caregiver!


One thing you'll want to think about if you're Asexual is if you want to be in a relationship with another Asexual, or someone who experiences sexual attraction. Don't forget that the DD/lg or CG/l dynamic can totally be platonic too! You can just be friends. You don’t need to be in a romantic relationship to be involved in DD/lg or CG/l.  If you do decide to be with someone romantically who experiences sexual attraction, sit down and talk with them before you start. Make sure they know that sex isn't your thing. Talk about how things will work. However, never feel like you have to have sex with anyone. If your partner pressures you, whether they're your little or your caregiver, it is NOT okay. If sex is a hard limit for you, then your partner shouldn't be pushing you to do it. 


Some Asexuals do want to have sex, and that's ok to for whatever reason they want to. Heck you just might be curious to see what all the fuss about the deed is. It DOES NOT make you any less an Asexual person. Many asexuals masturbate and that's ok too. Asexuals may masturbate for a variety of reasons just like sexual people. 


If you’re interested in Asexuality and understanding it there are a variety of places to get advice and read about it:


They are a great place to start and even have a forum!


This is a nice little place with some lovely resources.


This is about asexual awareness week but also has some great resources. Well worth the read.


Now some people struggle with being different from the "norm". Please know you're not alone. There are some sites that can help and have people willing to listen and try and help.


The Trevor project is for 13-24 year olds and are there to help people who need it. They are an American hotline but do occasionally have online chat.


7 cups of tea offer online real time support for those who need it world wide. If you can't get on a phone then this is a good place to try.


P flag help relatives, friends etc of people in the LGBTQA lifestyle




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