New daddy needs help (bratty little and punishment)

[Guest c-m-punk]

Ok so I recently started talking to a little on here and we really hit it off. We bagan talking and have loads in common.

Recently we started to slip into the ddlg side of things and havnt really discussed anything about it. She admits to bring bratty and a handful.

Last night she was acting up and I threatened to punish her with a spanking (which she enjoyed the thought of) She kept pushing buttons so I threatened to put her in a time out and not talk to her.

Little decided to flip it round on me and is refusing to talk to me until she calms down since I was "mean"

 

My question is how can i take control of the situation and punish her whenever she flips it on me.

[Petal]

I hate time outs... 

 

Not like they are a good punishment for me.  I mean I really hate them.  When I'm little and put in time out, I feel really lonely and abandoned.  Like nobody cares about me.  I know that's silly and that time out is a very valid punishment.  But it freaks me out.

 

If somebody said they were going to put me in time out and not talk to me online, I might have the same response.

 

So... maybe you were mean?  I mean, you just started doing this stuff.  You don't know each other's boundaries.  I think the best thing to do is just to say sorry, then ask if time out is something that upsets her.  If it does, maybe find better alternatives to punishments?  Stuff she won't get so defensive over?

 

On the other hand, if she doesn't react like I do, and she's just being a total brat about it, I'm not sure.  I'm not a very apt CG.

 

Hope I helped. <3 

[Guest c-m-punk]

Yeah I think the problem was me more than her hopefully she can forgive me

[Rune]

The best advice in any situation such is this is talk it out. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship and if you are having problems talking about them and voicing any and all concerns you have is always the best bet. It is never good to let things go.

[Guest c-m-punk]

Well she is currently refusing to talk so gonna have to wait until she calms down lol. Think I'm the one being punished haha

[Guest Tag you're it]

Okay, as a switch with a mega brat side, all is not lost, may I say. Just take it slow. When she talks to you, just address what made you both uncomfortable. It sounds like you were working against her, not with her. You discover boundaries as you go along. My old dom never really punished me all that much, he scolded me, and that worked a lot better. Work WITH her to improve her behavior and bring out the little you know she can be.

[Harley_Quinn]

I live with my daddy and usually it results in spanking and no phone or movies or anything till I stop being bratty. Of course that never works and I cry and he feels bad and puts on monster high lol

[Guest c-m-punk]

Thanks everyone for the advice. Unfortunetly a have decided to go out separate ways. I'm too inexperienced to be her daddy and so felt it wouldn't work.

[Princess-P]

Sorry it had to work out that way, but I also want to add a little of my own advice.

 

Don't blame yourself. You say your too inexperienced but that goes both ways. If she was experienced then she would know that you have to state hard limits. If time out was one of hers but she didn't tell you that's her own fault.

 

It absolutely takes time before you can commit to a CG/l relationship. There is lots of communication involved and trust to gain. I wouldn't get too upset about the loss of this relationship, it clearly wasn't meant to be and you at least learned something from the short experience.

 

Keep in mind while in your search that not all littles have rules or punishments. I don't and would be really pissed off if my Daddy tried to force them. So if that's part of the dynamic you desire make sure you discuss that with any potential partner.

 

Besides not discussing limits first off I don't think you did anything wrong and certantly nothing to deserve the silent treatment. For littles who do have rules and punishments the point is to curb a behavior. If the resulting punishment is something they enjoy (like a spanking) then that defeats the purpose. Rules are something both people decide on and punishments are something that is not desired.

 

Good luck.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

As a caregiver, i dont like giving time outs especially if its a ldr. Like one of the previous posters said, it can make your little feel lonely and abandoned, and thats the last thing you want to do. If a time out is nescessary, try to keep it short. Like between 4-10 mins max. Personally, on the rare occasion i give a time out, i like to make her stand facing the corner for four minutes

But make it a little more creative than just "Well ill talk to you again in an hour".

 

A scolding or doing a good spanking roleplay works much better, for me. Those kind of build lines of communication and establish the caregiver as a disciplinarian.

 

Its a very fine line between being playfully strict and stern, and being kinda mean. And thats a challenge Daddy doms face everyday. Which is why you must gain your littles trust and respect before trying any punish. A DDLG is like any vanilla relationship where its all give and take.