Dating and DDlg?

[lilybell]

Ok, soooo I've been wondering about something or rather, I've been going back and forth about the idea of dating and DDlg.

Allow me to explain my problem.

 

Lately, I've been trying to get more involved with the DDlg community and embracing my little/middle mindset and behavior...but at the same time I've also been going out on dates with men that are not daddies. Getting dates and being asked out are not struggles and I love getting to know new people so if I'm asked, I go. Recently, I've gone out with a few men and had an enjoyable time with them. I want to make it clear that I met these men while just going about my day so there's no pretense of any kind of kink or DDlg dynamic. After a date last week where I had a wonderful time, I started to wonder what I'd do if I met someone that wasn't a daddy that I truly and genuinely liked.

I should also say that a couple of years ago I was in a long term and very vanilla relationship that had me feeling stifled and misunderstood. Both of those reasons played into why that the relationship ended. My fear is that going forward I might fall into the same sort of situation. And that's why I was wondering how other littles approach dating. Do you only date daddies? Are you willing to allow dates to occur naturally and then explore if the man is willing to fulfill a DD role? If so, how do you go about bringing it up?

I'm basically at a loss and have put myself in sort of a time out from dating until I figure it out. Any advice or thoughts on this are appreciated because I'm just....well, lost and need some help.

[dl-nerd]

well first off we don't choose who we start to fall in love with! It's gonna be hard to find someone who has to meet specific standards you know? I think, if you find someone who is vanilla and truly enjoy them then keep pursuing that relationship. Don't prevent yourself from being in a good relationship just because a kink. I think after a while if you two have developed trust and love and stuff then you can bring it up!! A lot of cg/l relationships have come about because one partner wanted it and shared it. I totally think you should keep both options (daddies and vanilla) open. 

[Antoinette]

The thing with relationships is, they're never perfect. But what makes them worth it is a noticeable effort from both parties. If you do happen to meet someone who you really do like and start a relationship with them, then take it easy for a while. Just enjoy yourselves, as the relationship gets more serious introduce them to DDlg, if they reject it - they're rejecting you, fair enough, this isn't for everyone but it's only fair that both parties compromise and if they can't, well was the relationship ever going to work? Probably not.

 

The thing is you should never explicitly look for a daddy and exclude everyone else. You should find someone that makes you happy, and someone who you make happy. Everything else will fall into place with a little communication and compromising. 

[Mikaitaku]

I would say introducing anyone you might really like to DDLG slowly, some people might think it is a little weird to begin with but otherwise have no issue with it. 

[lilsnoopy]

I kind of disagree, I've tried vanilla relationships and even come very close to a person I was with in a vanilla relationship. But at the end of the day I was a little, I wanted to call someone daddy and color them pictures that get hung on the fridge and sleep with stuffies and be read bedtime stories, ex, and a vanilla person wouldn't understand that. I also had that problem with a 'daddy' who wasn't the type of daddy I wanted. Even though he was a daddy and I was a little it doesn't mean you'll fall in love. You will eventually find the right person you connect with on a normal level as well as in a dd/lg way. I luckily found my dom every early in life and I love him so much. He wasn't familiar with dd/lg when we first started dating but I saw so much potential in him I said yes when he asked me to be in a relationship. Now he is a full time caregiver, dominant, and kind of a brat tamer. We connect on every level and he questions how he didn't see that he was a daddy before. 

 

I think if you're just worried about love, if you have the personality that would love a daddy the person you're most likely to fall in love with will have the qualities the little would want. I'm sorry if I didn't word that the best. I'm trying to say that as a little the person you'll attract and form a close enough relationship to fall in love with will most likely be a daddy, or someone acts like a daddy, or has the potential or qualities to be one. 

[lilybell]

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I'll have to keep thinking hard on this one for a bit.

[MisterMomo]

Hi!

 

I had two girlfriend in Life, never talked at first with them about Little or DDlg .. but we had that kind of dynamic anyway.

 

I think in dating if you really connect with the other, he'll know in some ways about your Little side anyway... 

 

I do not walk with friends with my binkie in my mouth... but clearly I like to watch kids movies, hold hands, coloring or funny games... even my Grown Up side is a little bit Childish...   I'll send small notes for saying Good day... think of a small gift cute gifts... Have so many stuffies i cannot hide...

 

If it is the same for you and you are honest with the people you date... doing activities you like and spending time with them...  I guess you would connect with someone that Loves you For that... not Despite of that.  Same that you might be atttracted to someone with a CG nature... instead of someone who wants you to be independant...  Chances you endup with a DDLg relationship are still there.

 

I cannot speak for everypony .. (hihi)  but I met Mommy like a regular date... and ended up 6 years later engaged with her...  fighting my bedtime, with lullabies playin and cuddling my stuffies.  And We also have grown up complicity.  

 

Wherever you find love and anyhow... I wish you to find that special someone