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Have any of you met rude Daddies/Doms on FetLife


Vixen On Wheels
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So, I joined FetLife last week, just to see what the hype was about.

 

I posted in a group, saying that I'm looking for a Daddy for certain things, & I got the most rude, offensive response I've ever received online.

 

I'm not the hypersensitive type, but the fact that a so-called "Dom" took it upon himself to express his upset with what I wrote (that was within the group's rules & not offensive in any way) was unbelievable to me.

 

I'm still new to the whole thing, & this was the first mean experience.  As someone who's older, I expect folks to act like adults, & be respectful.  Is that too much to ask?  Do Doms/Daddies think they can say or do whatever they want just because they're men?  

 

It's hard to meet men as it is without having to sift through the jerks... 

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Thank you, ladies, for your responses.  

 

It really bothered me that men are so rude on there... & there's OLDER men who act like buttholes, not guys under 30.  

 

The ironic thing was that a woman came to my rescue, so to speak, on the post I wrote, & supported & defended me.  It's nice to see that there's some sisterhood on FetLife, & that women aren't afraid to stick up for one another when they see boys perpetrating as men on there.  

 

I'm not sure if FetLife is for me, but this experience definitely puts me on high alert, esp. about posting anything.  

 

And I'm glad that this is a safe space, too, Princess... I think that this is where I'll be way more than FetLife.  

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Oh your not alone Ive had several bad doms/nasty experiences just the other night i had a dom ask for me to call him cus we had been talking for a little while AS FRIENDS mind you and he literally was masturbating while i answered the phone and the first thing he said was "hi. what are you wearing?" and told me i was lieing after i hung up on him and he got all mad at me i told him i was not having a conversation with somone who is masturbating and he told me he wasnt so he didnt see what my problem was *eye roll*

 

I have to admit i have thought more then once that it wasnt for me but then again i wouldnt have found my friends so i decided in the end i can always block and report the bad ones its not worth it for me to stop going there when there are so many good people on there. 

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I have met rude doms/Daddys, subs, littles, and everything else on Fetlife. I have an account, but I never use it just because everyone I met on there has turned out to be either rude or unfriendly or just plain bad news.

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I had heard in several conversations that FetLife was overrun with rude and obscene behavoir, both from dominants and submissive. That's why I joined here instead. I'm glad I did, too. I'll probably only use FetLife in the future to find events, as Princess Tori mentioned earlier. I know we have munches here in my city.

 

It's sad that a lot of internet communities don't do a better job of policing themselves. I think approaching a submissive who is clearly collared for pics or play is harassment, and the "dom" who does that should be flagged and given a warning. I read in some article recently that only 1 out of 10 dominants online are actually in the lifestyle, it might be 1 out of 20 from what I've seen, and I'm new.

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:3 I have made some friends from Fetlife and there are events for people to go to, So I wouldn't say fetlife is all bad news. I get creepy comments on my stuff and I've just learnt to delete it, I also have a disclaimer at the top of my page telling people they need to message my Daddy before talking to me. And a few people have read that rule, and have done so. It matters on where you looking and who you are looking for. I think Local groups are nicer than uh, the big massive ones are.  But I do know that some of our users came from fetlife, and I enjoy fetlife myself. Its a place for me to upload my nsfw photos. 

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Guest sightsoblind

This unfortunately isn't limited to fetlife any personals site has these assholes. Look up videos of people reading responses on Tindr and other dating apps. We must also remember that as much as the scene is not about that these people are the reason the misconception exists. It attracts those that don't understand and believe the lies and bs and that's what they want because they are simply bad people so remember

 

 

Hey, hey, hey

Just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world,

You could've been getting down to this sick beat.

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Thanks for the comments, sweeties!  :)  

 

I think the most saddening part of the bad experiences most of us have had online is that they were done by adults... who apparently have the maturity & respect of a pea.  

 

And SightSoBlind... I'm going to get down with the sick beat, & not the lames. :)

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Guest sightsoblind

Remember you are a precious commodity worth more than jewels and gold. Do not waste yourself by letting the scum and villainy of the universe color your vision... after all didn't they find Han Solo in Mos Eisley Cantina?

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I've met more rude Doms (and I use that term loosely for these fine specimens), than I have nice ones. That being said, I've met some wonderful people on Fetlife too. It's worth dealing with the douche canoes because there's a wealth of information and plenty of really awesome folks.
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Thanks sweeties for the encouragement & kind words.  

 

There are many jerks out there, but there are some sweethearts too... gotta step over the warts to get to the princes.  :)

 

And Sightsoblind, you are too sweet!!!  Very true!  :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

There have been a few sites I've had similar experiences with. None here. Absolutely nobody here has been at all cold or rude. But I have also been on fet life and Kinksters chat and felt unwelcome. I posted about fetlife a bit ago....ran into some people who were just plain bad news. I'm not even sure if they're really into BDSM; I later found out they are well known scammers in their area...always lying about something to get things from people, causing trouble, etc. The rest of the people who contacted me just didn't seem to care to get to know people. It was always "Let's start a relationship" or "I want to be your Daddy" when my profile clearly states that I have a Daddy named Jacob who lives in a nearby state (Oregon).

 

On Kinksters' Chat, nothing specifically bad happened. I just got completely ignored most of the times I logged in there.

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The rest of the people who contacted me just didn't seem to care to get to know people. It was always "Let's start a relationship" or "I want to be your Daddy" when my profile clearly states that I have a Daddy named Jacob who lives in a nearby state (Oregon).

 

Thank god we made it so that you have to add people as a friend to message them. Just stay away from the personals section and boom, problem solved for the most part.

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Rude Doms are awful. I do impact play as a separate thing from my DD/lg lifestyle so Im frequently browsing Fetlife for people who are willing to stay within my boundaries. The last "Dom" who got in touch with me was not happy that everything had to be given the ok by my Daddy, he then started to say I was young and naive and my Daddy was too young to fully understand anything etc. Just plain nasty and uncalled for.

Fetlife has had more good points for me though. Met some lovely people. You just got to sift through the dirt to find the diamonds ^_^ If people cant be mature and respectful, dont give them the time of day.

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Guest thatlittlerebella

The only bad experience that I've had on Fetlife is from a "daddy" that runs a few groups and thinks he's the only authority on who can/can't be an ageplayer/little/babygirl/other identity under that umbrella. He said that I couldn't be genderqueer and a girl nor could I be a slave/masochist and into DD/lg. Sadly a lot of new people interested in this dynamic look at him as some sort of role model.

 

But other than that I've never had any other issues on there. Maybe because I've never used it as a way to find partners but more of a social networking/event site. I am sorry to hear about all the trouble ya'll have gone through though.

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There are a lot of so called "Daddies/Doms" on Fetlife that are really rude. Most of them seem to think FetLife is a dating site and that subs/littles = easy girls who are there to have sex with any "Doms". It's really annoying.

When I was single I received a lot of inappropriate messages. When I became owned and that it was stated on my profile, I still received inappropiate messages but less of them. Now it's written on my profile that any male who wants to contact me must message my Master/Daddy first. It's sad that we have to go to this length but now I only receive inappropriate messages once in a while.

 

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I have a post in the personals here...looking for friends and a possible Mommy or other lg for me and Daddy, and I still haven't had any problems. Nobody has added me as a friend just to send anything rude. I may try fet life again...not sure.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just joined fetlife and met some of the rudest/abusive and creepy people ever. They are usually way to old for me. In fact I have never met a daddy under 34 .Until I got on here I didn't think they existed.

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People seem to have mixed results with fetlife. Some seem to be doing well on there, and some seem to be running into the worst people possible. I got some random "Hey little girl I want to be your Daddy." messages even though my profile mentions a Daddy named Jacob from Oregon in the first line. And I met a couple locals who turned out to be bad news; tried to ruin some friendships outside the community when I turned them down for sexual activity, tried to get strange men to approach me for sex without my consent...just creeps. Yeah...I know...welcome to almost everywhere that allows anonymous communication. But the biggest problem I've had with it is that people just don't write back much or read your posts or page. I am on there stating that I am interested in meeting others into DDlg for friendship and possibly poly with my Daddy and I. None of the people I wrote to as friends have written back, but I have gotten several messages from men looking for a sub....and people not into DDlg..

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  • 2 years later...

Ive tried fetlife too,  Id avoid it. Although there will be plenty of genuine people on there, there seems to be more horrible, fake people on there.

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Guest SUeB
Yes of course i have. i also met the genuine love of my life on fet. Plus of course, there are no doubt just as many rude subs/lg's etc etc etc on there too.
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I think what everyone needs to realize (not specifically the OP) is that....

 

People fucking suck. There are horrible people out there no matter where you go, what you are doing or who you are. And that is a million times more on the internet. 

 

I always recommend to people to just laugh off the assholes and focus on the good. I've almost had to change my identity due to a stalking "Daddy" who hacked some of my stuff online. But then again, I met my Forever Daddy and my bestest friend ever (Daddy, again) on here, on this forum. So it really is a roll of the dice, but personal vetting will help avoid most of the jerks.

 

 

 

 

Of course there are many more good people than bad - but people tend to focus and remember the negative a lot better than the positive. Don't do that to yourself.

Edited by Little Illy
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Guest Little Otter

I have one, is scary sometimes, but I met some great friends on there. Thats how I found out about the littles' meetup at the zoo I went to today!

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