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    No "True" Way


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    #41 UnicornBiscuit

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    Posted 26 April 2018 - 05:17 AM

    I sometimes feel weird-ish that I don't have a little age or space like 99% of the people here, but I love being able to express my immature childness here without being judged or told to "grow up"

    <3

    Edited by UnicornBiscuit, 26 April 2018 - 05:17 AM.

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    #42 Guest_littlegirl707_*

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    Posted 26 April 2018 - 12:59 PM

    Good read I was thinkingt that yesterday when reading a post. We are all different Theres no one way!!!!



    #43 Littlest_Bee

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    Posted 15 May 2018 - 11:07 AM

    Who exactly were you responding to, BoredDD?

    If your outburst was a reaction to the OP then I wonder how you missed this part:

    What I care about here is that your over the age of 18, if you have a partner they are over 18, you follow the rules, you be yourself and that your Safe, Sane and Consensual. SSC is the only part of all BDSM practises I expect everyone to follow.


    I may not have read all the posts in this thread but I definitely haven't noticed anyone promoting BDSM without aftercare and if you have then you should report that person.
    Be careful with your words. They can only be forgiven not forgotten.

    #44 MellyBoo19912015

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    Posted 15 May 2018 - 11:50 AM

    Every little is different, sure. But if you don't make sure they know about aftercare, frenzy and Drop you're just promoting a really dangerous lifestyle that gets a lot of new subs traumatized. I had 2 contact me just this week and they were stalked, harassed etc all because people don't make sure a new sub knows about this stuff - so they do silly things like sit on the edge of their bed in only a nighty for some random stranger they've never met before to role play a break-in.
     
    Some things cannot change. You can't just expect 5 million plus years of psychology and evolution to change, because "Muh feelunz".
    Your mind doesn't care how you feel, some things are true regardless of your opinion.
    Thanks to irresponsible admins like you, I not only had a fake sub/user/gold digger i actually was really lucky to even find out about frenzy. It almost killed me.
     
    So don't try telling people there's "No True Way" when the core values of BDSM exist to keep people ALIVE.


    Did I ever once say that I condone unsafe practice? I specifically said that the one thing I expected everyone to follow is SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL. Let me say that again for those in the back who are having trouble hearing me: SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL. Top drop (yes that's a very real thing people), sub drop, after care etc are all core components and all come under SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL. Now SSC is all in capitals so you easily see that.

    This community is built by its members and staff that give up their time so everyone here has a good and safe place to be themselves. You seem to have a problem settling and that's ok, we all have an adjustment period in new surroundings. I suggest instead of getting defensive and attacking people you know nothing about that you take a step back, calm down and realise no one is perfect. I'm not, your not, in fact no one here is.

    So to recap: I expect everyone to be SSC, you don't know me or anyone here and no one is perfect.
    • Littlest_Bee and Lilkitten12 like this

    #45 Littlest_Bee

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    Posted 15 May 2018 - 12:05 PM

    I think you, BoredDD, have a point that simply mentioning SSC doesn't cover many details about BDSM etiquette but just because the OP didn't go into the details, doesn't mean anyone here suggested skipping aftercare (as you seemed to suggest) or anything that justifies you calling people on here irresponsible.

    If you feel like the existing resources in this forum are lacking on important topics then I would suggest that you address that politely in the area for "Feedback and Suggestions".
    I'm sure you could even try to make a post about it yourself (though if you are crossing into something that might include medical advice it would be best to check with the admins and moderators first).

    Your profile seems to be new but your comment sounds like you have a long back story for what you are trying to address and I hope I don't come off as condescending but right now the way you air your grievances seems counterproductive.
    I agree with MellyBoo that you should probably take a step back and calm down.

    Edited by Gândi_Bee, 15 May 2018 - 12:17 PM.

    Be careful with your words. They can only be forgiven not forgotten.

    #46 Orguposnow

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    Posted 28 July 2018 - 04:37 PM

    Oh absolutely! You can't take control of someone without their full consent. Being of age is a must. Without proper consent you're just manipulating a weak minded person in my opinion





    The most honest response reward

    #47 Kitten Fluff

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    Posted 11 September 2018 - 02:17 PM

    All relationships are different! 


    • babygirl'xo likes this

    2iFb.gif

    Bunny, 22 big age, 4-5 little age. Taken by a handsome bear  :heart: 


    #48 islandgirl73

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    Posted 13 February 2019 - 05:44 PM

    My daddy tells me this all the time that our way has many aspects of traditional DDlg but it will be done in the way that we create. He changes in between Daddy and Dom......he’s 70% Daddy and 30% Pure Dom at times without a daddy notion in sight. I’m also not too little....I’m more of a Baby Girl and age play around the age of 10....sometimes I shoot right up to 16 years old too.....we’re also in LOVE and we both have kids.....in front of public, family, and the kids, I call him “Daddy” which makes for a different case of DDlg too......I have rules to follow and we believe in a 1950s style of chivalry and masculine head of the household respect......I know my place AND this is not just a kink....we LIVE THIS....my Daddy is a born Dom (Aries) and I’m as submissive and sassy as they come (Aquarius)..........We both knew we were Dom/sub......but we are just learning that DDLG actually fits us BEST in most situations. No.....there is no true way......

    #49 Dorian_JE1

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    Posted 13 February 2019 - 06:57 PM

    DDlg is a sub genre of BDSM and that in its self tells you there isn’t one way because BDSM is broad enough to have everything from a slave to a little to a rope bunny to a Dom/ Domme to Top/bottom....we all fall in to a certain percentage that is common ground but no two couples are completely the same, in my opinion if someone does inforce there “is one way” to me that shows the dynamic has not been fully understood by that person...fantastic post, I feel this post is great for newcomers...I hope more people read this

    Edited by Dorian_JE1, 13 February 2019 - 07:08 PM.

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    #50 Daddy-Tom

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    Posted 18 May 2019 - 08:46 PM

    Every group has members who think their way is the only way. There's a bad apple in every bunch

    #51 BambiBoodles

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    Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:54 AM

    I agree with this to an extent but when I just see guys who want to be called daddy during sex and nothing else, no care aspect etc I don’t see that as ddlg. That’s a daddy kink at best
    • babygirl'xo and neworder like this

    #52 PiperParadis

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    Posted 08 August 2019 - 06:47 AM

    &nbsp;

    Honestly it's incredible "the one true way" exists in most subcultures. I've seen so much of it regarding trans people, gay people, disabilities etc. Whatever community you're in you really need to stfu about it, it can be incredibly damaging and alienates people.

    &nbsp;


    This always surprises me. So, you belong to a minority, you're, sadly, used to be mistreated... And what do you do? Mistreat people that's just like you, or not, but that are good to you. So what? Do you feel better? Your ego is inflated and you've become as mean as those you complain about. Great.
    It seems that we can never treat everyone accordingly.
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    #53 Guest_xrocketpup_*

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    Posted 06 January 2020 - 12:12 PM

    Thank you. Very beautifully and yet, simply said.



    #54 Guest_Ninny689_*

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    Posted 07 January 2020 - 10:49 PM

    Same as anything personal - whether it’s sex, spirituality, gender, etc.. real life just isn’t that way - nothing is “all or nothing” - and, no one else’s perspective matters when it comes to how something feels for someone else - super interesting to see that be somewhat prevalent in a community who should kinda know better about being open-minded.. just my opinion

    #55 BabyDaisy81

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    Posted 11 January 2020 - 07:08 PM

    My daddy uses words and restrains me with his body and occasionally spanks me but he’s a very caring and nurturing daddy.. Since I have multiple mental health issues and physical disabilities he’s always putting my safety and well-being first.. 


    BabyDaisy


    #56 Huggybear

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    Posted 28 January 2020 - 04:13 AM

    I have been active in non-ddlg bdsm communities over the internet for years. I have met quite a few people I look up to and listen to, people smarter than me. A very common topic there is how BDSM looks different for every single couple. Nowadays - its often celebrated!

    A few years ago there was clearly a trend where the so called pseudo doms tried to chest thump and shout about the "only right way" but It was pretty quickly washed out by the veterans. Do your best to really evaluate the source of info before feeling happy or sad about it when reading about other peoples experiences. Respect yourself and your partner first and foremost, dont sacrifice or compromise your selfimage for anyone - it will really hurt in the long run!

    Im glad this same mentality is being nipped in the bud here aswell. The beauty of all kinds of bdsm (ddlg included) is that it serves the couple, their interests, their personalities. Its slightly dangerous to even give advice about how and what to do as its just so darn personal! I hope people realize this and are brave enough to communicate that "this aspect is not for me" or "this one aspect from a vanilla life I would like to hold onto".

    I realize im propably repeating partially what has been said, just wanted to give my two cents as its a topic very close to my heart!

    Edited by Huggybear, 28 January 2020 - 04:19 AM.


    #57 curiousvet

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    Posted 18 July 2020 - 02:51 AM

    Honestly it's incredible "the one true way" exists in most subcultures. I've seen so much of it regarding trans people, gay people, disabilities etc. Whatever community you're in you really need to stfu about it, it can be incredibly damaging and alienates people.

     

     

    &nbsp; &nbsp;


    This always surprises me. So, you belong to a minority, you're, sadly, used to be mistreated... And what do you do? Mistreat people that's just like you, or not, but that are good to you. So what? Do you feel better? Your ego is inflated and you've become as mean as those you complain about. Great.
    It seems that we can never treat everyone accordingly.

    Lol I run into this alot.  I grew up in a baptist home, am a combat vet, a total redneck, masculine as shit,  when I tell someone I'm gay, it's pretty common to hear "Didn't see that comin."  Not to mention I'm a diaper lover, and curious about my little side, and fully verse-both position and dominance.  I break alotta molds lol.


    Edited by curiousvet, 18 July 2020 - 02:51 AM.

    Gay redneck combat vet

     

    Diaper lover, inexperienced 5-8 little and inexperienced daddy

     

    Hit me up to roleplay!


    #58 PupAdrian

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    Posted 19 July 2020 - 08:29 AM

    I agree with this completely! I have always thought of things like painting a cherry. You can be inspired by other paintings and use an actual cherry as an example but in the end the painting of the cherry will never be the same as someone else’s interpretation. There is not a right way to paint it. And In the end the image will be as unique and beautiful as the painter themselves! I don’t know if it really makes an sense but that is just the example I think of.

    #59 Jesseget

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    Posted 17 September 2020 - 07:24 AM

    The one true way is to be true to yourself and understanding of others. Everything else is just flaver. Glad this thread is here hopefully we all can learn from it.




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