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Daddy, Interrupted


Guest JoeKarr

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Guest JoeKarr

I'm not sure if this is the right spot to put this in, but I figure it's the Caregiver Cafe, and I'm a caregiver, and this is a run-on sentence.

 

Okay, so do any care givers deal with this issue? I just got out of a long term relationship. I know I'm not ready to be in a new one, but the urge to look for someone new right away is so tempting. I miss the cuddling, the naps with my little, the fun silly stuff we used to do. I also know that I'm not in a good head space to nurture something new either.

 

I'm also dealing with body image issues lately. Again, I know this is usually a female issue or maybe just a little issue or I'm just a giant misogynist and totally clueless. There are days that I look at myself in the mirror and think, "Hey, a geriatric ewok from a retirement home on the Forrest moon of Endor." That's probably one of the nicer things I've said about myself. So, I find myself bailing on meals. Like, just having a bowl of Cheerios for the whole day.

 

I don't know. Maybe this is just the break-up blues or whatever's.

 

I'm also not looking for encouragement. I mean it's nice to hear and all, but honestly...I'd rather know that I'm not alone in this. I mean, if other Caregivers have felt this and have gotten better I at least know there's an up from where I'm sitting.

 

I mean, I get that Caregivers are supposed to be the strong ones in the dynamic and we're the ones that are the rule keepers and the cuddly enforcers.

 

Maybe I'll get put on blast for putting this up, but bump it. I needed to get this out somehow.

 

Anyways, if anyone responds super. If not, I got to vent.

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Caregivers need to realize that we're human, too. We can't expect ourselves to be immune from normal issues just because we're on the other side of the slash in dd/lg and cg/l.

 

I get the body image problem. I'm a fat guy, too, and I've never been called attractive. It's nice to tell ourselves that others' opinions don't matter, but they still bother us.

 

I think what's set your issues on alert is your recent breakup. Stress (good or bad) does that. It makes depression and little things into huge hurdles.

 

I wish I had some magic words to help

All I can offer is: Stick with it. Stick around. You may not heal 100% but just try. Caregivers forget we need care, too.

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Guest JoeKarr

Honestly it makes me feel better to know that someone's felt that way too.

 

The "dude, no way, me too!!" effect.

 

It's not like guys bro out about these problems in the first place.

 

But on the real, thanx Frog for posting up and saying something. That actually helps a ton.

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  • 4 weeks later...

"Hey, a geriatric ewok from a retirement home on the Forrest moon of Endor."

 

I feel somewhat violated because when I read this, I was drinking cola... It came out my nose now it stings :( I then proceeded to choke.

 

I think what you're feeling is totally normally. Ending a long term relationship can play havoc with your emotions, your self esteem and thoughts. To me, it sounds like you're grieving your relationship, again, totally normal.

 

Of course you're going to miss the things you did with your ex-little, but think how unfair it would be on a new little. I actually read an other post today when this littles daddy left her because he didn't give himself time to heal from his ex, which left her very hurt.

 

Ride out the end of your relationship by surrounding yourself with things you like, hobbies, events, friends, family, Star Wars marathon.. (DONT watch the Christmas special, it doesn't exist)

 

Hope I kinda helped?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am going to agree with Barbie on this. Getting out of your dd/cg headspace for a bit will very likely do you some good.

 

I have been dealing with losing someone lately who I lost right after I lost someone else. Add in going through some life changes all while working full time and taking care of my two biological sons. I couldn't start a serious relationship right now, it would work out badly for everyone involved. Sure, I miss the time together, the care, the intimacy, but I can't concentrate on that right now or I will just slip deeper into depression.

 

I have been concentrating on me. Working out, eating right, bonding with my boys, time with friends, time on my projects (specifically my 67 F100), and family. I am keeping myself busy so I don't have time to miss all that stuff. It is hard but there is an end to this tunnel.

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  • 4 weeks later...

As a little I will say you caregivers have issues as well. As the top guy said, you need to care for yourself and take a break here and there. Sometimes for a long while. This is that perfect time to do so and recharge. Go out into town, visit your favorite place to eat or hang, and relax. You need in, love. Let the daddy life rest for a while. Let your heart heal.

Also, having self image issues isn't just for us females and littles. A lot of tough, manly man people fight that every day and it's completely normal. As for the one bowl of Cheerios for a whole day, you shouldn't do that. That's never good to do. :( 

Please eat more. Pretty please with a cherry on top. :)

 

I hope your heart heals and that you soon feel so much better. If you ever need to message someone, feel free to hit me up. 

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Guest blumonkey

Get plenty of sun

As previously stated get some me time and do hobbies, enjoying you dong have all the work that a daddy has to do nonstop... like spending the day off knowing you don't have to be tethered to your phone 24/7 for little emergencies (daddy I ate too much candy and now my tummy hurts!)

Date vanilla ... again knowing you have much less obligations

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