Is it always a BDSM thing, or is there a community for like non domination age play and caretaking?

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

My post makes you think I need to educate myself more? That could be because I said I was entirely new and asking where I could find information on it that would be relevent to me in my original post, right

I'm also perfectly entitled to call violence nasty, I don't like it. If you do that's your deal but I can actually find it repulsive, it's my own sexuality and ethics I was talking about not yours or others'.

I come in peace, I'm not looking for condesention from anyone, just have some questions. Which, granted, I see might be annoying to people fully immersed in the subculture, if you find my newbie questions annoying perhaps just leave them for someone who isn't annoyed by them to answer? 

Yes I will surf this site a bit more, thanks for that.

 i don't see any reason for you being as assumptive as you're being, i was just doing

what everyone else was doing, i just am very forward and honest. and you said you were

entirely new but had this awful idea of what you thought ddlg and bdsm was and i was

just correcting it, there's nothing wrong with me doing that. and it's not violence if it's

between two consenting adults - what you're doing is called kink shaming and in a

place like this i wouldn't recommend it, which is also why i suggested not calling

someone's kink icky or yucky despite your sexual ethics or whatever else you thought

gave you good reason to kink shame someone else. i came here, answered your thread

and questions with good advice ( enough so that a handful of people liked it which i can

only assume would be agreeing with me ).

 

no clue what you mean by i'm fully submersed and thus annoyed by newbies, you sound

as if i offended you, which wasn't my intention at all. i love that you came here to ask for 

the proper information and way to go vs a place that would tell you the toxic and wrong

information. believe it or not, we were all newbies at one point and looking for guidance and

assistance. so, it'd be best not to try to pull a negative tone out of a place like this where people

are usually very welcoming and open with just about everything. i'm an honest person and i

don't sugar coat anything, i have no intention on changing, i'm one of the handful here who

will approach threads this way and have no intention of changing, diversity isn't bad. 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

My post makes you think I need to educate myself more? That could be because I said I was entirely new and asking where I could find information on it that would be relevent to me in my original post, right

I'm also perfectly entitled to call violence nasty, I don't like it. If you do that's your deal but I can actually find it repulsive, it's my own sexuality and ethics I was talking about not yours or others'.

I come in peace, I'm not looking for condesention from anyone, just have some questions. Which, granted, I see might be annoying to people fully immersed in the subculture, if you find my newbie questions annoying perhaps just leave them for someone who isn't annoyed by them to answer?

Yes I will surf this site a bit more, thanks for that.

I'm honestly bothered that you have referred multiple times to sadomasochism as icky, yucky, violence and abuse. I understand you're new... I get that you're asking for advice and I have no issues with that. I do, however take offense to you agreeing with the common persona that DDlg or BDSM is abuse and even coming into a community that clearly supports such relationships and referring to them as abusive.

 

There are better ways to express your disdain for kinks than the words you've chosen to use. They're hurtful. As you hopefully will continue to seek out more information, please keep this in mind.

 

Now to answer your question. DDlg is very diverse and many participants believe there is no need for BDSM in it. These people's feelings are not invalid. Any relationship can be what you make it. For me personally... I believe some degree of power exchange is always shown, however minimal it may be. This isn't necessarily a common opinion but it is mine. This does NOT mean you have to incorporate any physical punishments into your dynamic. Truthfully your dynamic should be molded to fit your needs, whatever they may be.

[Harley_Quinn]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for me. This is probably a bit of overshare but you are strangers on the internet so here goes, I was physically abused as a child, and what I'm looking to see if I can find in this "scene" is the type of relationship that's very loving and nurturing, along with age play, I like the bedtimes and sticker chart and dressing up cute and feeling safe to go into a little persona and have nice, light, fun, sexy times lol. It doesn't seem to fit the BDSM label as I understand it, though I have brought it up/tryed to do it with a boyfriend in the past but he wasn't into pretending I'm a little girl so I just dropped it. I'm trying to find "my people" to learn about this from, I'm thinking the majority of this scene are different to me in that they like punishment and pain or etc, but surely I'm not the only one who likes it sweet haha. Ok sorry if I got a little defensive earlier to, I'm not really used to talking about my unusual sexual desires with a bunch of people, at all.

I was abused as a child as well. I have severe PTSD due to this.

 

Me and daddy have set up numerous ways to not use Sadism/Masochism when I am not in a safe space. We also can't be daddy and little when I'm not in a safe place. These methods range from safe words to just sitting talking doing nothing.

 

If you want to be into this community, the relationship you have with someone, seems to me to be based on a lot of communication. For instance you can't date someone and expect them to not want to punish in some way. You would need to set clear boundaries, rules etc.

 

It's honestly the only way to make any type of BDSM relationship work. Communication is key

[DollDirector]

Yes,in DD there is dom.

Keep informing yourself,as everyone advises,and perhaps it won't,but perhaps it will come as a surprise to you that you want it.

There are many types,very far away from the crude things you may have seen on porn sites or elsewhere; It's these sites that are lying to you,not this one.

[Guest The-Professor]

I've noticed that quite a few littles share a link to their tumblr page. I normally go visit their tumblr to see what she enjoys posting there. Well, personal tumblr pages really bring forth the huge diversity within DDLG. It seems like there's about three predominate mindsets within the community.

 

First, You have the pure vanilla simple, sweet, almost child-like littles who are enjoying basically the same things which a young girl would also enjoy and post. These are your 'rainbows and unicorns' mindsets which might not mention anything sexual anywhere on their page.

 

Second, are the deep BDSM pges where almost everything on the site are of extreme posts and images which are definitely not what you want your parents or friends to see. This is the hardcore fetish mindset where DDLG is most definitely entertwined with full BDSM play.

 

Third, is a combination of the two. This mindset is normally closer to the vanilla one but does have some elements of the hardcore one. Usually the majority of the posts are pretty tame and child-like but there are the occasional references to the sensual and erotic. These littles are far more into DDLG but they also enjoy the sensuality of the daddy/little interaction. I'm not really sure but I do get the impression that this is the mindset of the majority of the tumblr posts I have viewed. Since I don't have a sadistic streak at all, this is the area which appeals to the daddy in me the most.