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Red flags,


PINKLILLY

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What are some signs of a DD who only wants to use you for sex ? Have any of you littles experienced a man who's dismissive towards you emotionally but very hyper sexual & very attentive towards you when your talking about sex ? If so, how did you know he wasn't serious about a DDLG bonded relationship? comments would be great.
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I have been talking to a lot of littles recently of some easy ways to spot red flags. My best suggestion is ask for rules. You can tell a lot about a daddy by his answer to the question. Asking about other things is good too.  "How many littles have you had?" "How do you deal with littles with mental illness" "what is your favorite part of being a daddy." questions like these are very important to ask. Being able to read the answers is very important too. But the most important thing and the hardest for a little imo is having the courage and confidence to ask questions. Especially without feeling like they are over stepping or being rude or they can't because they are too shy or by virtue of being a little. 

 

Hope this helps. 

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Asking for pictures when you've only known them for a short while is probably the first sign you should look for. Flirting or generally sweet talking is also another tactic I've had used on me (which I have been foolish enough to fall for). You might also be cautious of how distant a potential daddy may be, especially when you need them, but they always seem to be right there for you when they're horny. I would honestly take things slow and just get to know a potential daddy before you even let them get to know the more sexual side of you. If you feel like something is amiss or they're being too forward, back out as soon as possible.

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Asking for pictures when you've only known them for a short while is probably the first sign you should look for. Flirting or generally sweet talking is also another tactic I've had used on me (which I have been foolish enough to fall for). You might also be cautious of how distant a potential daddy may be, especially when you need them, but they always seem to be right there for you when they're horny. I would honestly take things slow and just get to know a potential daddy before you even let them get to know the more sexual side of you. If you feel like something is amiss or they're being too forward, back out as soon as possible.

I disagree with the picture part. But I do understand a lot of littles see this as a red flag. Part of wanting to pursue someone irl or online or in any community is phsycal attraction. I seriously hate that it's a thing with most people, even me but I have come to accept this as human nature. The whole asking what a little looks like, or asking for a non nude or anything similar really makes me feel gross. But I also don't want to spend  week, a month or more gaining the trust of a little and having them get super attached to all of a sudden find out she isn't the type of person I am looking for physically. My OCD is still going off right now as I type this. I feel so shallow. But it is pretty normal to have physical preferences. 

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TheDaddyest, I meant in terms of sexual pictures. Regular pictures, like to show what you look like, etc. is much more understandable. But I can't tell you how many times people have sent sexual pictures to me without my permission, or even just asked for me to do so, even if I don't know them.

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Guest mlkykit

Fairly easy to spot once you've asked them what sort of relationship they're looking for. For some people, DD/lg isn't a 24/7 dynamic and is only done in the bedroom, and here's nothing wrong with that. It's up to you to ask questions and have conversations before jumping into anything. 

 

As for predators who use the dynamic as a guise to look for easy sex, they typically wheedle to get their way and have no respect for boundaries - treating a "no" as "let me convince you..." or "I'll just try harder..." and asking for nudes right off the bat. Being overtly and excessively sexual is usually a sign as well.

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Red flags for any partner is the same regardless of dynamic.

 

If someone comes off as overly sexual right away, shows disregard for your personal boundaries, or is very aggressive those are red flags.

 

Its important to keep in mind that for some this is simply a sexual dynamic. AMD thats fine. If they make a pass at you and you tell them thats not what your interested in its their reaction that is a red flag, not that they made a pass at you. If they apologize and back off then no harm done.

 

Also pictures are rather important for many. A person may ask what you look like or for a non sexual picture. This is not a red flag. Asking for nudes right away is.

 

Also someone may accidentally overstep your boundaries. However if you say nothing or do not correct then how are they supposed to know what your boundaries are?

 

To be perfectly honest there's no way to really spot someone who has the wrong intentions toward you until you gage their reaction to you and your limits. If a person is truly out to use you they can be very manipulative. They will seem like a wonderful person until you realize you've been played.

 

Just take your time getting to know people as people. Not as caregivers or littles or partners. Just people without any title. If you never feel pressured or rushed tell them. If they respond badly they are not the right person for you.

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TheDaddyest, I meant in terms of sexual pictures. Regular pictures, like to show what you look like, etc. is much more understandable. But I can't tell you how many times people have sent sexual pictures to me without my permission, or even just asked for me to do so, even if I don't know them.

Yeah that's pretty scummy. Besides I don't understand guys logic about sending sexual pics to littles or girls in general. It's not something they want all the time or from random people and I can bet 99.9999 percent of the time the outcome from it doesn't lead to positive results. (such as a continuation of a sexual rp, dirty talk or anyone getting off.) I feel like guys need to understand this and realize that it's so much more gratifying to send those types of pictures when you know for certain a girl will appropriate them. (and it's so much more sexy to me in that situation. if you take longer than 5 seconds to think about the topic... getting someone in the mood to want that stuff and giving it to them is so sexually rewarding.)

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Red flags for any partner is the same regardless of dynamic.

 

If someone comes off as overly sexual right away, shows disregard for your personal boundaries, or is very aggressive those are red flags.

 

Its important to keep in mind that for some this is simply a sexual dynamic. AMD thats fine. If they make a pass at you and you tell them thats not what your interested in its their reaction that is a red flag, not that they made a pass at you. If they apologize and back off then no harm done.

 

Also pictures are rather important for many. A person may ask what you look like or for a non sexual picture. This is not a red flag. Asking for nudes right away is.

 

Also someone may accidentally overstep your boundaries. However if you say nothing or do not correct then how are they supposed to know what your boundaries are?

 

To be perfectly honest there's no way to really spot someone who has the wrong intentions toward you until you gage their reaction to you and your limits. If a person is truly out to use you they can be very manipulative. They will seem like a wonderful person until you realize you've been played.

 

Just take your time getting to know people as people. Not as caregivers or littles or partners. Just people without any title. If you never feel pressured or rushed tell them. If they respond badly they are not the right person for you.

This post is so true. I am very sexual but it's definitely not all about sex to me. I met my current little while having  a lot of issues with my previous one. She apparently told me about her anxiety towards sexual activity and I didn't mind because I was taken, looking for friends and if we did date it wouldn't be a huge issue as I have dated even asexuals in the past for long term and respected their sexual boundaries. It took a month more for me to break things off with that little, and i had forgotten any mention of sexual anxiety and after awhile me and my currently did some sexual stuff in addition. long story short a week after I pushed her too hard. She was totally silent about it and was actually going to go threw with the situation. But I eventually realized how she felt on my own and we talked it threw. I apologized profusely. Things happen like that sometimes. In a good relationship  communication is key and so is forgiveness. 

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Guest Princessaj

Thanks for asking us to participate in your DDlg adventure.

 

I call it the "F" word....you may be thinking of one word, but I am thinking of others.

 

My new favorite "F" words are "FRIENDS FIRST."

 

If you just met someone, male, female any one anywhere in the world, your intention is to make a good impression, you wouldn't

immediately start talking about SEX!!!!! Of course, there are always exceptions

 

The topic of sex is not out of bounds, because I am very sexual and I attract/have attracted predators throughout my whole life.

I used to tell my parents if I was wearing a potato sack, I would still get cat calls.

 

If you met this person on the bus, crossing the street, getting a Starbucks, in every day life...If they behaved the way that "Poser's" and "Fake" DD's act online, you would turn and run.

 

Don't let the internet become a place where people you don't know start with sex. Unless you want that.

 

Perhaps, Use this test...When you are first texting, chatting, messaging, talking..make a list of 10 things that if your parents where in the same room as you on speaker phone, or looking over your shoulder seeing what he/she was typing to you, you could talk freely about these 10 subjects.

 

Don't be a "One Trick Pony."

 

Let them make an "Ass" of themselves, not us.

 

Hugs

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So true! One thing about me as a little though is I'm the type to play the game back lol. If I sense he's being manipulative, I'll just act as if I never knew .. the more oblivious you act the more comfortable they get and slip up, once they get sloppy it's easy to see them for who they are. Taking ones time seems to be the only way to truly see how much someone is in it for you and what they are there for. But I've also learned not to make assumptions , I'm new to all of this and simply have learned it's not much different than vanilla dating. every little should always protect herself. Sometimes you really do gotta but the little you AWAY & let the big you come out to see the situation clearly , as a woman. Thank you all for the comments and Advice! Xoxo

It sucks but if I where to put myself in a little's shoes I think you might be right about the whole time as the only true way to vet. I just love the sexual aspect as much as the sensual and personal and wish it could all be experienced as early as possible. With the little I am with currently I am not missing the sexual much at all though. Which is weird. I am kinda just happy to be together and am ok with waiting around. It might have to do with we had a few brief experiences and I am happy to know she trusts me enough already that it's possible to continue but time and anxiety are not on our sides.  

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Guest Sexynaughtydaddy
Good replies here. It also sucks when you meet someone online as a guy and realize that there is a little right in front of you, only to realize that they only call or message when they are horny. The first time may be exciting but, I don't like being led on either when I realize that they have no intention of meeting or developing a bond that they have spoken of...If it is just fantasy fine but, I'm upfront if I am not going to be emotionally available at that time. Let the chips fall where they may..
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