Jump to content
DDlg Forum & Community Spring is Here !

collar me red


Recommended Posts

So I am a newbie who is currently enjoying my new found happiness. I am trying me best to do lots of self studies and reading up on things I don't under. Like can some please explain to me the uses of collars? What is the right amount of time to wait until you are collared. What happens in Polygamous relationship? Are more rules added once you are collar.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Collars are a sign of ownership. Generally used in more heavy BDSM dynamics but sometimes also used in CG/l. Its a very meaningful way a dominant shows that a submissive belongs to them.


Regardless of collars rules are always changing. Adding or removing rules as a relationship continues to develop. If you dont include rules in your dynamic you can still wear a collar. Rules and collars are not related.


I have no information about poly relationships as its not something I've ever been interested in. What I can say though is that those who are poly and happy are open and honest and communicate with each other. Once you start hiding things the relationships fall apart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In my belief there are two different types of collars. There are Play collared than there's is the collar done when a Top ask if we may collar you. Now with that being said.

A play collar is a collar for play or for just wearing for your own purposes. It's fun or cute or maybe because someone is into pet play alongside other links.

A true collar I see the bdSM form of marriage. It's a Top saying as you have submitted to me I will submit to you with all that's I am. It's a sign of a Top saying I want you forever and that will never change. Usually with this there is a ceremony held☺️


Now there is no set "time" on when these things should be gotten or achieved everyone is differently and believe different things. It's works the same For poly as it does mono. My advice to you is follow your heart. You will know if the top you choose to submit to is the one for you, your forever Top. ☺️ Collar given as long term collars can also be bracelets rings and necklace as to wear in public.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm still learning the ropes as well, so what I have to say may not be solid, but I do know there's all sorts of different collars. The different types of collars I've heard of are protection collars, consideration collars, training collars, play collars, and formal collars. I'm not sure what distinguishes them from one another, though despite just telling people. If you find out, let me now! I'll dig into it too. I think these websites will help answer your questions. 





Edited by Strawberry Sprinkles
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LordEmtheDinosaur!

Collars are a sign of ownership that says I belong to this person or I own this person depending on which side of the slash you are on. For someone who is really into and active in the scene (local communities) things like consideration collar, protection and formal collars are more common. In long term or even married relationships it's not really a thing. Why would you have a consideration collar to consider if you want your wife to be your little? 


Collars originally were a very serious thing, it was considered the kinky equivalent to a wedding ring. They were a big thing, the same way you take a length of time of dating before deciding to marry the person, the same way you'll take time before asking/accepting a collar. However, things have changed and unowned submissives wear a collar and collars are given out at the start of kinky relationship. There is no right away to regard a collar, it's different for everyone. 


Some people date for 3 years before marrying and some wait for 10, the same way it takes a different length of time for people to want to collar/accept a collar. It also depends on the type of collar. Someone who you play with often may offer a play collar for when you guys play together which is different from a formal or day collar. 


More rules could be added once you are collared. It depends on your relationship. Being collared sometimes mean you get presented with a contract, previously discussed and agreed on. Being collared sometimes mean another step in your relationship which can mean more rules/rituals etc.


In polyamorous relationships (polygamous relationships are usually associated with religion and include one male and at least 2 females which isn't representative of poly relationships in BDSM), it depends on how many people are involved and the level of relationship with other people. Each set of relations/couple will have their own ideas on if/when/how to collar.


There are collaring ceremonies and you can even change/add/leave out things or you can invent your own. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's true that there are many different meanings behind various collars. However, I personally dislike the concept of "consideration" collars, as it strikes me as something that can be used as a means to manipulate a submissive, little or not. I remember a UK Dom going into detail about this in one of his talks on Youtube. Though Scribe is an old guard kind of Dom, I agree with his assessment about what he refers to as "velcro collars".


In my opinion, the act of a Dominant giving a collar, and a submissive accepting one should be seen as a serious commitment. Play collars and self-collaring are both fine, of course.


But, if a Dominant straps a collar on a submissive right away and says, "Well, Im considering you..." that to me feels like the kind of thing a collector would do. We know that there are tons of people out there who claim to be a Dominant for the purpose of fulfilling a power fantasy or to artificially feed their ego. These types will hand out collars willy nilly and use that as a means to prevent a submissive from moving on or talking with other Dominants.


I feel that if a Dominant is willing to hand out a collar after a few conversations, that suggests that the collar holds no importance to that Dominant. That's just my opinion on the matter.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are many, many types of collars. They aren't always even a collar, as stated above.


My husband has collared me. My "collar" is my wedding band, which is inscribed with "his loyal sub" inside. This isn't because of a lack of commitment or even for others to see. It's a reminder to myself about my place in life. His says "her loving Dom" inside. His is for the same purpose.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...