tokki Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 okay so im super talented at pushing people away i honestly don't mean to do it to be mean to them but it happens so often that when someone says they no longer wish to speak with me i feel sad and a bit mad at myself but my reply to them is okay i understand and sometimes i just reply with i figured i know they get mad at me it never ends in a good way they ether get mad at me and don't reply or i just stop talking to them i just stop replying i honestly don't now how i have any friends and to be honest i only have 2 friends the rest i pushed away because i didn't feel like i deserved to have friends because i wasn't ready to have any friends and i know it's not what i really want but something in my head always agrees wit the part of me that thinks im not worthy of friendship or to be loved i know that i start pushing people away as soon as i feel they are starting to get close to me i just feel like sooner or later they'll figure out how broken i am and they'll leave me so most of the time im scared to talk about what really is wrong with me because deep inside i still don't want to change i have tried to change before but i know im just lying to myself and that im really i honestly don't even know why im posting this i just feel like i want to get this out in the open and maybe then i'll feel better or maybe im just been an attention seeker and want people to feel sorry for me which is what i honestly think anyone would think just by reading this i would maybe think the same way one of the reasons im posting this is honestly cause i would like to know if anyone has ever done this and how they changed this horrible habit because by now it honest has become a habit of mine to just retreat when things get to serious i typed this out so many times and deleted it i just couldn't bring myself to post it but hey why not right haha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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