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Desperate Daddy in need of help


Taken101

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Okay so I made a post a while back about not fully being comfortable in my relationship with my little. Happily for the both of us we have worked this out and are back on track!!

 

An old problem has gotten worse again and my little has started having anxiety attacks and low self esteem. It's a long distance relationship so I'm limited in the ways I can help. A random long paragraph every couple of weeks to let her know I love her, good morning messages, long Skype calls, bedtime stories....I'm running out of ideas. This is in and out of little space but mostly out. Constant reassurance as well. I need some help on what I can do. I'm planning a visit to see her in 2 weeks but I need something to help right now.

 

Any and all constructive advice is appreciated!!

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Being a little with anxiety... you're doing the right things. If these thoughts interfere with daily living, she needs to see a medical professional and possibly take medication. Being on anxiety meds doesn't mean she will always be on them. Even if you weren't long distance... anxiety sucks and she likely has little to no control over it. Continue assuring her, but there isn't much else you can do.
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I agree with @Daddy's_Babygirl and just want to add that it's not your job or place to "fix" her. Anxiety and self esteem issues are both very real things with real consequences, and they don't just go away if you tell her you love her every night. That still doesn't fix the problem that she doesn't love herself. I'm not saying that these things are bad, because they're not and you seem to be doing a great job, I'm just telling you don't assume you can handle this by yourself. While having a great friend to vent to and reassure her is going to help, it won't fix her anxiety. She may need professional help. If you're worried about her, if this has been happening for an extended period of time, please ask her to see a doctor.

 

Medication for my anxiety was one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I know a lot of my friends feel the same way about therapy. Thank you for being there for her, and keep doing what you're doing! (♥ ´͈꒳​`͈)

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Its ironic how close this is to my situation. I found my Daddy in Colorado about a month ago. We reconnected after knowing each other in middle school and then began dating. We were both having some issues of me going away to Kansas for the summer because of both of our anxiety and trust issues due to our pasts. But while the summer went on my living situation hit the fan and now I am stick in kansas to finish out school. (We are seeing each other in 2 weeks too) Now we are in a long distance relationship and he and I both get extremely lonely sometimes and I have been having anxiety attacks and panic attacks lately and sadly there is no way for him to help from so far away. But I kmow he loves me so much and it helps to easy my attacks.Me and my Daddy agreed we would give each other a few of our things when we do see each other so when he or im feeling anxious we can feel like we are with each other! Maybe yall can do this or exchange things that smell like each other or research anxiety coping mechanisms and see what works. For me I use a stimulatory tactic. I name 5 things I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell, amd 1 thing I can taste. I hope this helps and good luck!
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Agree with others that all you can do is be there and it sounds like you are doing the right things. I have anxiety and low self esteem issues. It can be a long road of medication trials and therapy to get on track and stay on track, but if she will seek out mental health professionals it really will help.
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A random long paragraph every couple of weeks to let her know I love her, good morning messages, long Skype calls, bedtime stories....I'm running out of ideas.

 

What sort of things is she anxious about? Is it related to her past, or a general anxiety about the relationship?

 

I personally have fairly crippling anxiety (really makes a Daddy feel incapable of being one, let me tell you!) and doing some of my own research I discovered Magnesium supplements. This wasn't so much a fix for my anxiety as my anxiety is caused by a lack of it in my diet. Taking a dose before bed each night is like flicking a switch for me its incredible.

 

I'm in no way saying this works for everyone or that taking an over-the-counter supplement can take the place of a qualified doctors opinion because it cant, but when I was at my worst and willing to try anything to make it stop I wasn't able to get into see a doc right away. I did some cursory research, spoke to a pharmacist about it and had something that day that gave me a level of clarity that I had never understood before. For this reason I recommend looking into it and asking a doctor about it.

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Being a Little who lives with anxiety, major depression disorder, Bi polar disorder and ADHD I completely understand the struggle; but!

Your little needs to take the steps they need to get better. They should see their doctor to get this sorted out and not rely on you for everything.

There are some things daddies can't do, or shouldn't need to do for their little. Mental health is not one of them. Not only are they putting pressure on you to fix this, you won't be able too. There is a chance you won't even be able to help once you are there. Mental health issues last a long time, and unless they are willing to see a professional for help, then they are doing this to themselves. Sounds harsh, I understand; but take it from someone who's been living with these mental illness since they were 8 years of age.

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