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Rejected by my best friend :(


star-strucky

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Mkay so I have a best friend and her name is Samantha and we have been friends for about four years and recently I got into a ddlg relationship (not really that recent, more like 6 months ago but still). Ever since I met my daddy she has had it out for him. She has never met him yet calls him really mean names (creep, psychotic, pedophile, etc), straight to my face because of our relationship dynamic. We do have a 10 year age gap but we are both adults so I am not exacly sure why she has her panties in such a twist over this. 

For a while, I just ignored her and would refrain from bringing up the subject, until two days ago; I sent her a youtube video with the theme of ddlg/abdl acceptance and she flipped out. She said a bunch of awful things about the community. And in response I basically told her that this lifestyle is a piece of me and then she just wouldnt talk to me. So I do not know what to do. Any thoughts?

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Golly i am so sorry she responded this way. It must be hard for people on the outside to not get that ddlg is separate from pedophilia. They just don't understand. Maybe after you 2 have had some cool off time, message her and say how you value her friendship, tell her she seems to misunderstand what it's all about but is she willing to try to work past it and be your friend? She seems to not be acting very friend-like. Is she acting like she is concerned you are living an unhealthy lifestyle or is she just bashing you? Try bot to lash back from hurt feelings and just reach out to her. It sucks to lose friends, but your true friends will stick around through adversity.
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To be fair, 10 years is quite a lot since you're only 18. I would be VERY concerned for one of my friends if they told me they had an SO that was much older than them (especially cause you're young, but look who's talking). Though I would like to think that I would handle the situation more... tastefully than your friend, but try to keep in mind that she probably does have your best interests at heart, even if she's expressing it in a hurtful way.

 

I would say you should sit down with her and talk face to face. Tell her that being little is an important part of your life, and you don't want to lose your friendship because of differing viewpoints. Explain what being little means to you, and even give some examples of how being little is different to everyone. There is no pedophilia because everyone is of age, your dom doesn't like little girls, he likes big girls who act like little girls. If she's your age, she should be able to keep her mouth shut for a little while while you explain this to her. Especially if you tell her how important it is to you.

 

Worse comes to worse, if your friendship means more to you than sharing your littlespace with someone, you could ask her to pretend that she never knew. You just wouldn't talk to her about it anymore.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you. Confrontation is the worst, and potentially losing close friends is awful.

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At first I thought my friend took me as a freak (in a bad way) due to her lack of input. After talking more with her, she said that it was basically just my personality/who I am which she already knew about. Her and I both like things such as tea parties, stuffies, cartoons, dress up.. so on without terms put on it necessarily. She knew I was a pet fox prior, but not completely the kink side of things. We're both weirdos, so things don't usually weird us out that much.. I thought maybe she could misunderstand. Don't underestimate the power of communication and being confident in who you are! A true best friend accepts you for who you are, though it may be tough to see people come and go. whom you've shared good times with.
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It's unfortunate that thus community and lifestyle is still so misunderstood. The age gap itself is hard for some people. I'm 45 and my first little was 21. Although presently single, I have never told anyone about my lifestyle. I know what the reactions are likely to be.

 

Most people simply won't accept the gap, lifestyle, or both. It's why most if us tell noone.

 

I'm sorry your friend has taken the typical response. But as lilpetpet said, give her time, and reach out.

 

Maybe also guide her to these forums, let her see what it's really about.

 

Whether she accepts it or not, I hope you manage to maintain your friendship.

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I am really sorry to hear what happened. I am 38. My SO is 21.17 years difference. When I met messaged her, I was just messaging any female on a particular site I am on that was into the ddlg lifestyle, as long as they were 18+. Knowing how young she was, when I looked at all the females I messaged, she was actually one of the last people I figured would message me and hoped wouldnt message me. I was actually shocked when she did and even more shocked when she was ok with the age difference. Surprisingly, we had a lot in common. She reminds me of a myself when I was her age. Sadly, I have to keep our relationship quiet from people around me (the ddlg end of things). Just like your friend, most people in my area give the same reaction. I actually had a few females, while searching for a mate, send me messages back saying that what I was into was sick, twisted, pedophilia and that they would call the cops and have me arrested. Believe me, I am not one of these guys who sends dick pics and is horny. When I search and send messages I have the utmost respect for females. So to hear that type of thing come out of their mouths, I knew it was directed at the lifestyle I was looking for and not my having sent something possibly offensive. Your friend could be jealous or probably, and sadly, part of that crowd of people who for some reason are violently against your lifestyle. There is always the possibility that she had something bad happen to her by her father and she finds it sick that you would enjoy something with a "daddy" figure. I would let things cool down and maybe not mention again but just let it come out in a subtle way. If you are adults, I dont see why age should be a problem. I have seen in my own life, and in others, where those with a huge age gap get along better than those closer in age. Finding the right person is not about looks or age but about the two of you making a connection. In the end that is what bonds you together.

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I personally don't think she's a true friend if she doesn't accept part of you but it depends on how much being little matters to you-I'm a 24/7 little but the few friends I have as well as my family are super supportive-if they weren't I'd cut them out of my life without hesitation.
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My Daddy brought up me telling my best friend about the nature of our relationship and I freaked out. I was like "how would we even explain it?!?" And Daddy said "we would sit down and just explain it. Simple as that". Later that day she and I were talking about all kinds of random things then talked about how her and her boyfriend had tried some new things (her ex husband never wanted to even try tying each other up) so she's always so happy when her and her boyfriend do new things and explore. She knew I'm into some stuff but didn't know about Ddlg. And I told her because it was a natural point in the conversation. I was broken up with in my last (vanilla) relationship not long before I met my Daddy and part of what I liked so much was being able to have this type of relationship that I've wanted for so long.

 

She responded very well and said "whatever makes you happy and if that's what the two of you want." And we talked about it a littl, like why that appeals to me. She knows of my childhood and how I am so she wasn't surprised and thought it made sense that I would want a Ddlg relationship.

 

I'm sorry your best friend was so negative about it! Hopefully if you give her time to calm down she will be willing to talk to you about it and try to see it from your point of view. Use this site if she's willing to do some reading, many people put things much more eloquently than I could've put it on my own. I quoted a bit when I talked to my best friend because other people have said things in ways I wouldn't have been able to figure out properly.

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Your friend has alot of misconceptions about ddlg. She doesn't really know what she's talking about. Sometimes you can try to educate someone but some people will never learn, so don't try too hard.

 

Being a little is a part of who you are so even if your friend does not agree with it she will have to accept it if she wants to stay friends with you.

 

You shouldn't let her call your Daddy names, that's being disrespectful, in a similar way to how calling LGBTQIA+ people names is disrespectful. If she keeps doing that you should reconsider your friendship or take a break from her, it could take a toll on you and/or your Daddy psychologically.

 

You are who you are and your best friend can't change that.

Edited by DarkAvatar69
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