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The disappearance as if the moon is at fault


Guest Waiting4us

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Guest Waiting4us
A lot of whom I have met here at this community, start up and for a few days hold to the conversation as if they are willing to be the best friend kind but suddenly one day, first they tap the friendship request key to unfriend so that no more conversation can take place. Yes, I respect them for who they are but find it hard because if you have guts to say Yes to friendship request you should also be freely honestly able to say NO. It actually hurts the emotional me inside and makes me feel guilty and this actually troubles for few days and for weeks and maybe months too. Because if I was accepted as friend and was worth to talk too what made them see unworthiness in me.... At least they should be kind enough to say a BYE.
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I couldn't agree more. there is nothing more un-nerving than when somebody simply stopped responding to you or blocks you and you don't know why. It can make you question everything about yourself. but don't. Some people simply don't have the courtesy tell you they can't be bothered with you, or to take the time to explain what upset them. Just keep looking. There are lots of nice people here who will stick around for you. Edited by Kali
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I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced this - several times it sounds like. Though I see it much more commonly discussed here on the forums by Little's, caregivers get ghosted too and it can be just as harmful to us. Though we are the Doms in the dynamic, it doesn't mean we are impervious to the emotional pains of being invested and having that taken from us with no explanation or discussion.

 

I feel for you - truly. It's a big fear of mine to be emotionally invested but unable to explain myself before seeing the relationship crumble. I can't imagine the toll that this must be taking on you, but know you aren't alone here. If you need advice or support, we are here.

 

Take time to reflect and to learn. Grow. And stay true to yourself. You'll find those worth your time in the end.

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Guest Mister Tim

I have to agree with you guys.

There's a certain minimum of politness that everyone should show so if you don't want to chat with someone anymore you should also have the guts to say it.

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Guest Sweetkittenbj

Since both littles & CGs are experiencing this, has anyone thought about suggesting a 'no ghosting' policy to staff/moderators? If our community is one that isn't judgmental but is caring, I think it's a perfectly acceptable expectation that we're all going to act in a mature, caring fashion.

 

Rejecting someone, or discovering something that makes us uncomfortable about continuing a friendship & telling them isn't easy. But neither party grows as an individual if one half simply packs up & goes home.

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Ghosting is mean. Just say you don't want to continue.

 

You can add me. I am not on here all the time but I have a kik and I won't remove without a reason.

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Guest Sephi

Ghosting is hard to deal with. It hurts. I don't think that it is unreasonable to expect a good-bye from someone that you have been talking to more than just occasionally.

That being said, I think we all need to be acknowledge that sometimes people don't click, or someone needs to pull away for personal reasons, etc, and that those boundaries must be respected. You don't have to agree with the reason someone pulls away, but you must honor their space.

Anyways....it truly is unsettling for a conversational partner to disappear.

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There will always be reasons to leave, end friendships and relationships, but honestly, there is almost no reason to do it without notice. More so, if they remain on the website.

I've met my fair share of people on the web over the years that have done just that and it can be very annoying and often times (in your case) emotionally draining. Makes you want to close the door to new people at times.

 

My advice is to not let this deter you from enjoying yourself here and meeting new people. Find ways to discover these people early on if possible, look for little inconsistencies and red flags.

Over time (as painful as that may be) you'll be able to spot these types of people a bit quicker and save yourself a bit of heartache.

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