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Daddy changed his mind about me


Hearteyes
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He wanted to get engaged

We even picked out a ring. And i got really excited and kept talking about our future

But now he says we should just date instead and often leans more towards being a harsh master than a caring daddy

I talked to him about my feelings about it and this kinda is just the way it is. He doesnt think its smart to marry me right now anymore and i respect that if he doesnt want to

But i just feel broken

He just went to bed and left me alone

Did i do something wrong ? From a daddy's perspective is there anything i could do better to show my obedience even though i feel like my heart was just broken ?

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If you tried to talk to him about this situation and he's just left you alone, something is up. You should not feel that this is a situation where you need to prove your obedience to him - he's not being a nurturing Daddy, he's being unhelpful and uncommunicative. He should be there proving to you that though he changed his mind, he does have strong feelings for you - and then explain his reasoning.

 

Is he around the same age? I had a lot going on in my life at 18 too - and once the reality of big decisions start to set in for a person they can freak out a bit internally. He may just need some time to process the idea of marriage. He could very well still really care for you, but be having trouble processing the idea of marriage right now.

 

How long ago did you both go looking for a ring? It's one thing to ask someone to marry you, but it doesn't actually start to feel like its going to happen until you start doing something about it - like looking for a ring. You see the ring and start to think about the things that might change, and it can really snowball from there - particularly if he's the type of guy to not talk about his concerns with you.

 

Keep trying to talk to him about it, he may just need some time to process. Don't let him drag you around emotionally though, you have nothing to prove here. If he still cares for you, it shouldn't take him long to realize how he's hurt you but it might just take a moment for the panic of reality setting in before he can see it.

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Oh honey. You sound like you need a million billion hugs and all kinds of cuddles right now. I'm so sorry you've been made to feel broken, I can honestly say I know how that feels.

 

Now, I want you to know that your obedience is not what's causing this. I am sure you are a wonderfully obedient little, don't blame yourself for this. There is something going on in your daddy's head right now, something that is making him distance himself from you. I don't know what this could be, and the only way you'll find out what's going on in his head is by having a more in depth conversation with him. I know you said you already talked to him and told him how you feel and that he basically made it seem that things are the way they are. You have to step outside of sub-space and speak to him like a grownup, let him know that he has left you feeling broken and that you need to feel more of an emotional connection from him. Tell him that while you understand that he's not ready to commit to marriage at this point, that it doesn't make it okay for him to suddenly switch up how he's treating you without talking to you ahead of time and getting your consent. You just have to communicate with him as an adult. If he's not willing to listen then you may have to decide if you really want to stay with a partner that doesn't respect you enough to listen to your wants/needs and make sure they get met.

 

No matter what you do, I wish the best for you. Remember to look out for yourself and make sure you're taken care of. Sending you hugs and love and positive thoughts <3

Edited by MachoPrincess
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