Im not sure how to talk to my Daddy about this issue

[BunnyNotKitten]

My Daddy/Husband are a bit new to DDLG but we have always been heavy into BDSM, especially the sadist/masochist aspect of it. Now that we are trying DDLG, he and I seem to have very different expectations from it.

He has always been a sadist and most of our BDSM play has been based on that, but I would like to lean more on the "rules and guidelines" aspect of DDLG and S&M. The thing is, I feel like if I have to spell it out for him that I'm the one making the decisions and it puts me in a more dominant role than I'm really comfortable with being in.

So I'm wondering if anyone else has ever had this issue and how they approached it?

[Guest sour.angel]

I understand this!! I've been wanting to ask my Daddy for rules so today I made a small list as ideas. I know what you mean about not wanting to feel like the dominant role :/ but for me, I happen to know more about ddlg, so I feel like I get to teach my Daddy new things! once they themselves understand it more thoroughly, I feel like their dominance will naturally come out. maybe sending your Daddy some articles on ddlg could help guide him?? good luck! x

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

You are in a good place, there is a lot of knowledge gathered on this site.  So much, in fact, that is can be difficult to find what you are looking for. 

 

As far as how to bring it up to him, it would probably be best if you have a solid understanding of what YOU want. If you need some ideas, this topic has ten pages worth of rules from members with a huge range of strictness : https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2210-what-are-your-rules/

 

Approach him with respect, let him know that you want both of you to be on the same page, ask him for his ideas, then tell him your ideas, and finally, write down the things you agree on.  That way, it is something you do together rather than you deciding and then informing him (because doms loooooove it when you do that).