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My Reason for Enjoying DDLG


e^πi
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I grew up having bad experiences with men. Not any of them were treating me well. I thought I needed a good boyfriend. A man that I "deserve", one that would do anything for me etc. And so I did grow up. And I did find men would give there arm for me. I found men that wouldn't lay a finger on me.

 

But I felt like a fraud. I do not feel deserving of having everything just for being me. So these men were making me feel like I was at the top, and to make up for that, I would cut. It doesn't make sense to me to be treated so well and loved so hard like that. It had to be balanced out with pain. Some girls can adjust to that after coming from a rough upbringing but I can't. I need a man who will take away my self harm by letting me earn my affection through following rules.

 

I have been self harming since I was 14 years old - I am 18 now. So it's not that new to me.

 

I have been in one DDLG relationship for a short period of time and I liked it.

 

This is for me.

 

I want to be cared for and admired, but I want to work for it. I am capable of being a really good girl. I can do so much.

Edited by e^-π
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Guest infinitecases

I think a lot of people feel like how you do. I don't like being called a good girl unless I really have been one, sometimes I feel I don't deserve it and get upset when Daddy calls me it or sometimes it reassures me that I'm not as bad of a person as other people say I am. 

 

I think you need to find a good balance between a man who puts you up on a pedestal and only knows how to be nice to you and a man who fully mistreats you. I think a good relationship comes from having a nice daddy who loves you and cherishes you but also knows how to tease you etc? I've met guys who always acted as if I was amazing and better than them but that's really not what I wanted because it's like they're not treating you like a real person! 

 

DDLG is great that way with its endless love and care but punishment too if it's really needed. 

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I grew up having bad experiences with men. Not any of them were treating me well. I thought I needed a good boyfriend. A man that I "deserve", one that would do anything for me etc. And so I did grow up. And I did find men would give there arm for me. I found men that wouldn't lay a finger on me.

 

But I felt like a fraud. I do not feel deserving of having everything just for being me. So these men were making me feel like I was at the top, and to make up for that, I would cut. It doesn't make sense to me to be treated so well and loved so hard like that. It had to be balanced out with pain. Some girls can adjust to that after coming from a rough upbringing but I can't. I need a man who will take away my self harm by letting me earn my affection through following rules.

 

I have been self harming since I was 14 years old - I am 18 now. So it's not that new to me.

 

I have been in one DDLG relationship for a short period of time and I liked it.

 

This is for me.

 

I want to be cared for and admired, but I want to work for it. I am capable of being a really good girl. I can do so much.

I can understand this, it kind of makes me a little sad though. I understand what it feels like to "Earn" love. I also know what it feels like to question a relationship because I didn't feel like I earned it. It's a very hard frame of mind to escape from.

Thank you for being open and posting this. I wish you luck, and if you feel you'd like someone to talk to feel free to ad me.

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This is a really tough situation for you to balance, and I really hope that you are able to find a way to do so. It'll take a lot of communication but so long as you and your partner(s) are happy to talk it out then it will work well with the DDLG dynamic.

 

I think its really important that every title, pet-name and compliment is earned by either party in a relationship otherwise they essentially mean very uh... very little. But that said, its really important to note that whilst you may not feel you deserve a compliment or such that in the eyes of your partner, you truly might.

 

As a bit of an example - lets say you are just doing your thing one day, being Little and all the usual things that entails. Your partner has had a really crummy day and though you don't realise it, you being Little with them is really helping them relax and de-stress. They call you a "Good Girl" - what are you to think? Did you deserve it?

 

My point here is if you don't believe you deserve a compliment that's given to you by your caregiver, question it. Perhaps you have actually done something inadvertently that meant the world to them. Knowing the answer can only bring you closer together.

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