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How Do You...?


TwilightSparklez
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I'm a little as such I regress fully to varying ages usually around 5-8 and my littlespace is very sacred to me. Just because I do have slave tendencies but that doesn't mean when I'm in little mode you can't be full on Dom with me, I need that space at that time to be exactly what you would do when you interact with a child, cause that's my most vulnerable me.  What I have so far encountered, is that while searching for a Daddy I come across many Dom's who identify as Doms but seem to be more nurturing and caring and have had babygirls and/or "littles" before. I try to explain to them what I need especially when I'm smaller me and they tell me everything sounds good and they are not shocked. But once we start dating they get unnerved if I unconsciously regress, which I apparently do. And then after adult time, which rarely happens in a new relationship but has a literal couple of times, I automatically slip into little mode and they freak out then as well. Sorry if that's all a bit ranty. 

 

So my question would be how do I explain to them what they are really getting into and really determine if they are right for me to give a chance to from the start? Thank you.  :)

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Honestly understanding someone takes time, so it's no surprise you both freak out, it's your first time together after all, you could be a pro at such a thing and still have an awkward first time with your current partner. So I know it's hard not to panic when things like that happen, but what you both need to do is to learn from it, yeah he won't know what to do at first and might avoid it, but if you show him what you need and he's a good Dom and if you are a good little, he will get the hang of what you need when you regress. That's what I think anyway.

Also I'm a little with slave tendencies and background too! :D I thought I was the only one.

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Guest Ginger

Hiya *wave* I'm sorta like you, in a way. My Little Space has me all bouncy, happy, laughing and I'm non-sexual with it. It's kind of just my personality as it's something I don't consciously slip into. I had two past 'Doms' who thought that was ok and we pursued a relationship. However, they both got very upset when I'd slip into my Little Space at stores or at home. They said I was being childish (of course) and they felt I was more of a 'Little Sister' than girlfriend material. Long story short, I broke up with both of them. I've also got slave and pet-play tendencies so that added to their dislike of me.

 

What I'd suggest doing is what I did with my fiance. Go on a few dates/outings and just be yourself. Tell them it's kind of like a trial period before you really commit to anything with them. Explain what might happen (your Little Space) and just be open about it. It's not something you can really help, it's just you. If they say, "yeah, yeah, that's cool." and act abhorrent to the idea of it when it actually happens, you can just stop their little 'trial period' and cut things off before it gets serious. I think I went on seven or eight little dates/outings before I agreed to date my fiance seriously. He'd seen me in a work setting, where I'm almost always in my adult mind set. Sometimes I'd slip into my Little Space and he caught onto it really fast, calling me "Little One". The rest of the guys in the shop even got used to it after awhile.

 

So it just takes time and probably countless mistakes with guys before you'll really find the right fit. I used what happened in my previous two relationships to help guide me towards what I really needed. I actually sat down and made a list of all the 'Red Flags' they'd thrown up and I just didn't notice it at the time. That really helped.

 

I sincerely hope you find the right Daddy, Little Lady. All the luck to you!

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Hiya Himedere-Chan and thankies! I have tried working with them but sometimes a month in is a bit long to still be getting freaked out or maybe I am wrong? And its a bit more like Ginger said, I explained things and what it would look like and tried  to work things out but instead of getting upset at me they would freak out as if regression was a new concept and quickly become opposed to the idea or try to set times. I mean they supposedly have had littles before. But glad to know I'm not the only one with slave tendencies I was starting to question myself here!

 

Hiya Ginger *waves back* I love that you have pet-play tendencies to and its nice to meet another with slave tendencies! I have an inner snow leopard I bring out to play sometimes so I sortta understand you. I totally relate to everything you said. I really like the specifying this is a trial period and the red flag list is one list I don't have but will now be making.

 

Really  nice to meet you both and thankies for the advice and warm wishes. :heart:  :heart:  :heart:

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I think this is a bit easier for us Middles cause sexual and kink things are kind of part of being a curious, hormonal preteen...

I wish I could give advice to Little Littles but I can't actually even seperate my Sub/Pet side from my Little side!!! They exist as one...

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Guest wumpawizard

Ginger pretty much hit the nail on the head in its entirety. It takes effort and of couse, a few men/women to find that person that meshes with you and can understand who you are and how you are, and wishes to work with you on it. You can't just "back out" and try to set times or control Little Space/regression as for some littles they don't control it/fall into it subconsciously or have triggers that will just set them into littlespace. Being a Dom is one thing, but you also in this dynamic have to be a Daddy too. Listen, and talk to your littles, folks! Communication, trust, and mutual understanding are very key elements!

 

Before I ramble too much, keep your chin up! There's plenty of fish in the sea, even if it takes awhile to find the right guy, but I'm sure you'll find a Daddy that will love and care for you. :)

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