The spark is gone.... Rant.

[Suzie_Q]

Me and my Daddy Dom have been together for two and a half years now. When we started, we had rules, guidelines and a very healthy sexual relationship. However, he has had commitment issues. Even though we have had multiple attempts at moving in together, it still hasn't happened... we live two and a half hours away from each other. We alternate weekends. I go to him every other weekend, and he comes here every other weekend...

 

We used to do so many fun activities together! Yes, we have had our ups and downs. We usually recuperate and everything will be fine... however, it is because I put in so much effort to make things right again. I'll send pictures, I'll pretend that I am so happy until I actually feel happy... I'll go above and beyond to cater to his feelings and needs... but I don't think I have it in me to do it again.  our relationship has dwindled down to purely vanilla until he doesn't get his way at this point. Again. There is no foreplay for me... there is nothing. He thinks he can just go and I'll get turned on. Every weekend is all about fishing, since he loves it so much. Don't get me wrong, I like fishing too, just probably not as much as he does.... but EVERY weekend is all about fishing. Even this weekend I asked if we could go to MY favorite fishing spot and he originally agreed... but when it came down to it, it was a no. I have tried to negotiate and find things we can both do... but it's just at a dead stop now.... and its such a turn off. I hate purely vanilla relationships. They just don't do it for me. I am exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. I work 12 hour days and I just want to relax sometimes on the weekends but driving around for hours and having him dragging me out fishing is just not always the relaxation I need. I told him this year I'd like to go to the beach a good bit, I've even mentioned it when I go up to his place because he lives right by the beach... but then he doesn't want to and gets offended when I'd like to go to the beach even if he doesn't want to go with me, so I have had 0 time there.... summer is going to be over soon and I have spent yet another summer doing everything HE wants to do and nothing that I have wanted to do.

 

I just don't know what to do, or even if I have it in me to fix our relationship once again... I need it to change. I need it to get back to what it was before.. but I can't be the only one trying. He doesn't even say the things to me that he used to. I'd like to say that I haven't changed, but I probably have at this point. I still send him the morning texts he wants. I still send pics. I still say all the things I used to... but I don't get anything back. At this point, I feel like he's just using me for a blow job a few times on the weekend.... and I hate feeling like that. I don't even get the pleasure I used to, even when he tries... the spark just isn't there anymore... and I want it back, or to move forward... 

 

 

Just ranting I suppose. It feels nice to get it out.

[Guest daddy's_little_shadow]

Have you tried telling him any of this? My suggestion would be to sit down and talk it out. If things can't improve, then I'd say just move on. There are others out there who are willing to make things work.

[Sleepless]

Have you communicated all the things you've written here with him?

 

Honestly even if you have, consider just showing him this post. Maybe if he sees your feelings laid out clearly he will realize that your relationship is at a turning point; change or end. Upon realizing that your relationship will either have to change for the better or come to an end, he will be able to make a decision to put in more effort or allow your relationship to end.

 

I know showing him might be scary. After all the time and effort you have put into him the prospect of possibly losing him would be terrifying. But it is something you should do, the sooner the better, so you're not spending the rest of your life miserable like this.

 

One other thing to keep in mind is that he may disagree with your views/feelings and try to argue. My advice on that would be to hear him out, listen to his side of things. He's only human and showing him all of this might make him feel guilty; sometimes when people feel guilty they try to argue and prove they have no reason to be guilty, but if they have a good heart eventually they will stop arguing and start doing something to make things better. Be patient and be forgiving, but don't let him walk all over you and keep being inconsiderate. Stand your ground and demand change, whether that change be the end of the relationship or for the relationship to get better.

 

Sending you positive thoughts and air hugs! <3