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Little Illy
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Guest D͛r͛a͛g͛o͛n͛sP♡ptคгt®

I very much agree with this! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's given me a little bit to think about too. ^.^

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I wholeheartedly agree and good on you for writing this.

 

I've thought similar things along these lines but never this cohesive and well thought out. Very well put.

 

I also feel this message is much stronger coming from a Little in the community.

 

How do we get this added to 'Resources'? This deserves to be in there so direct newer members to if necessary. It can't be said enough.

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Guest Dominik

Thank you for your thoughts. I didn't know that so many people here are accused to be fake, but that's maybe because I am still a newbie here.

 

I like what you were writing, not only because it comes from a little, but also because you study psychology, so you know what is going on in our heads better than I do.

 

And you are right: I read some postings here and then I thought: uhm, do I as CG now have to like this also? Or to to this? Like you wrote: "Only real CGs would...". So what you wrote is very encouraging me that I do not have to do and like everything.

 

Thank you for the time to write this down. I am sure you were thinking already for a long time about that.

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Guest littleloveslars

I love this. Very well thought out and articulate.

 

In addition, i think it is very important to note that being a little does not exempt you from responsibly. For example, being a little does not mean you play all day and do not have to work, clean, or adult in some way. It does not condone bad behavior, laziness, or rudeness. I have noticed a certain type of "fad little" that is usually new to the community, and seems to really want to live the lifestyle because they have gotten the idea that being little means they dont have to accomplish anything. With or without a partner, it is very important that the littles of our community empower themselves to be brave, strong, and accomplished. Not only because littles need to be able to stand on their own two feet before entering into a relationship, but because the stigma surrounding our community is that we are all sugar babies and sugar daddies with an incest fetish. The truth is, we are a diverse group of open minded, open hearted individuals. We are here to encourage and help eachother. So while I agree with Bree 150%, I want to challenge the community to grow more together, to accomplish more together, and to help eachother more. This lifestyle is not just about babytalk and spankings. It is so much deeper and more meaningful than that. Thanks again Bree!

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Guest daddy's_little_shadow
I think it's also worth pointing out that, in some cases, when people refer to "fake Daddies", what they really mean is abusive. We cannot deny that there are abusive people out there that get into DDlg to take advantage of the control they get over a person. Whether or not the term applies is up to the community to decide, I guess. I would just call them what they are: abusers, but that's just me.
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Guest littleloveslars
Im not sure that calling anyone a certain label is productive. If you come across a person in the forum who absuses you or mistreats you, my opinion would be to talk to forum staff and provide them with proof in the form of screenshots or photos. That way the individual can be removed from the forum if need be. It is always okay to ask for support from the members of the forum, because we are here for you! But ultimately we cant do anything without staff intervention.
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Guest daddy's_little_shadow

Im not sure that calling anyone a certain label is productive. If you come across a person in the forum who absuses you or mistreats you, my opinion would be to talk to forum staff and provide them with proof in the form of screenshots or photos. That way the individual can be removed from the forum if need be. It is always okay to ask for support from the members of the forum, because we are here for you! But ultimately we cant do anything without staff intervention.

I was speaking in terms of relationship abuse outside of the forum. I'm sorry. I thought this was speaking about the community as a whole. I must've misunderstood. : /

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100% agree with everything very well said and very well spoken. Littles we are adults it's up to us to use our common senses and own up to our faults too and vice versa. It always takes two to tango and a relationship doesn't always have to end badly due to incompatiblity. Which I have to agree incompatibility is the reason most relationships end, not because one persob, CG or little was a fake.

 

Incompatibility in a relationship could also be viewed as a great opportunity for learning and growing. Sorry if that's all a bit jumbled, just woke up lol.

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Thank you so much for this. It needed to be said and I've yet to see anyone do it as clearly as you have done it here.

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And you are right: I read some postings here and then I thought: uhm, do I as CG now have to like this also? Or to to this? Like you wrote: "Only real CGs would...". So what you wrote is very encouraging me that I do not have to do and like everything.

 

Thank you for the time to write this down. I am sure you were thinking already for a long time about that.

 

I'm glad this helped - That is the point of this post, you liking what you prefer and disliking something doesnt mean you are not  a valid CG, never forget that! :heart:

 

 

I think it's also worth pointing out that, in some cases, when people refer to "fake Daddies", what they really mean is abusive. We cannot deny that there are abusive people out there that get into DDlg to take advantage of the control they get over a person. Whether or not the term applies is up to the community to decide, I guess. I would just call them what they are: abusers, but that's just me.

 

You are absolute right - which is why I brought that up in the beginning. Any abusive Daddies would be considered fake - because they are predators looking to hurt and take advantage of a little. And why I mentioned there are legit fake people and bad people that come to this community :) I just wanted to point out that a lot of those accused really aren't bad/fake but rather the situation is misunderstood. I completely agree with you.

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I love this. Very well thought out and articulate.

 

In addition, i think it is very important to note that being a little does not exempt you from responsibly. For example, being a little does not mean you play all day and do not have to work, clean, or adult in some way. It does not condone bad behavior, laziness, or rudeness. I have noticed a certain type of "fad little" that is usually new to the community, and seems to really want to live the lifestyle because they have gotten the idea that being little means they dont have to accomplish anything. With or without a partner, it is very important that the littles of our community empower themselves to be brave, strong, and accomplished. Not only because littles need to be able to stand on their own two feet before entering into a relationship, but because the stigma surrounding our community is that we are all sugar babies and sugar daddies with an incest fetish. The truth is, we are a diverse group of open minded, open hearted individuals. We are here to encourage and help eachother. So while I agree with Bree 150%, I want to challenge the community to grow more together, to accomplish more together, and to help eachother more. This lifestyle is not just about babytalk and spankings. It is so much deeper and more meaningful than that. Thanks again Bree!

 

To be honest - I have been itching to write about the fact that some (NOT ALL) littles see this lifestyle as a way to never need to take responsibility in life. But... ya know, only  one controversial topic at once. Heh...

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Been saying this for months! Lol

 

Me too, Dolly. And a lot of people I know have as well. Thats what gave me the final push to write it. Its so annoying to see it happening so much...

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Guest Maccyx

I have only been involved in THIS little community a few days but the term fake likely has a universal, though potentially ambiguous meaning depending on who you ask. In my opinion, you nailed it when you referenced your 'original' usage of the term - someone with ulterior motives from the getgo who doesn't actually care all that much if at all about the person they are aligned with. I personally never thought of using it as a term to describe baby girls/littles/subs etc. and assumed it to be an almost exclusive term to be used against Daddies/Doms/CGs. From what I have seen thus far it appears on the surface that people are indeed more genuine in this community, but I have seen it countless times in others. Have I had encounters with women who have been less than genuine or forthcoming? Yes, I have, but I'd likely use less PC terms than fake to voice my opinion of them.

 

Where it starts rubbing me the wrong way is in the examples you set forth concerning unrealistic expectations and the application of said label when those expectations are inevitably not met. As a Daddy Dom I cannot be 'on' 24/7 and to be honest I never want to feel as if I have to be. First of all and most importantly I want my girl to be a best friend and confidant, and I don't rush things. I do not want to be referenced as Daddy on day one - I want to get to know you as a person. Yes, I have had relationships come to a quick ending before they even got off the ground because of that and I'm completely fine with that. According to your checklist that could lead to me potentially being labeled a fake. It's my opinion that if either party is trying to falsely accelerate the process of building rapport and trust that it is absolutely destined for failure. Secondly, Daddies/Doms/CGs are people too as you pointed out. My last relationship broke down after nearly two years together because I hit a rut and got depressed. After everything I had done for her she bailed when for once I needed a little care and understanding. Pardon the language, but that seriously fucked me up for a long while. Does that give me the right to call her fake? No. It never entered my mind. In fact I have silently forgiven her for it. She just wasn't built to handle what I was going through at the time. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it doesn't make her a fake.

 

Predators...they are the fakes, and I'm actually glad you used that term because there are predators on both sides of the fence. Men typically get the bum rap and deservedly so. It can make things difficult for more genuine guys after a girl has had one or two bad experiences(or more), and frankly who can blame them?

 

In closing I would agree with the notion that there are indeed plenty of 'fakes' out there, but I'd also agree that the term gets thrown around to the point that it diminishes the true meaning.

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Guest littleloveslars

I'm new to this whole Little thing. But umm.. this kinda just intimidated the heck out of me. >.<

What specifically intimidated you?

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I agree with the original post, sometimes things don't work out and publically calling someone out as "fake" is an easy way to seek revenge.

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Guest Mister Grey

I think these thoughts are very important.  

 

I see the phrase “Alternative Lifestyle” stamped on this community and other, referring to how we are outside the norm, problem is I don’t feel outside the norm, since this is normal to me.  

 

I have the right to feel this way, other have the right to feel that way and in reality, “the norm” is actually a pretty small group because every person has their own quirks, their own desires, their own kinks. 

 

I know a little that doesn’t like to color.  She doesn’t use a paci.

 

is she any less a little because she doesn’t hit every usual little characteristic?  Is she fake?

 

I dont think so.  Just because she is different from another little doesn’t diminish her feelings, just like being part of a Master/sub relationship/ or a Daddy Mommy/ little relationship doesn’t diminish someone else from a “norm” relationship.

 

not adhering to every facet of a lifestyle doesn’t make a person fake, it just make them who they are.  And it that is not compatible with who you are, thats ok, just move on, respect each other and go out and find someone that is much more compatible with your own thoughts and feelings.

 

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I'm new to this whole Little thing. But umm.. this kinda just intimidated the heck out of me. >.<

 

I'm sorry this intimidated you, that is the last thing I ever want anyone to feel from one of my posts. 

 

I just want to reassure you that there isn't anything to be intimidated by, just things to be on the look out for. And in every relationship, we need to be on the look out for things. This community, as a whole, is a very loving, caring, supportive and all-encompassing one. There are just a few quirks here or there, but that doesn't diminish it in any way. Just like any other community :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

That was epically awesome, or awesomely epic, or both!

 

I've been promoting this same general idea in other areas of life. As a society, I feel we've gotten too quick to judge and label each other. We've lost the basic respect for each other as fellow humans. All of us are unique, and yet, if someone isn't just like us, or just like we think they ought to be, we judge them to be inferior and label them as such. Someone who parents differently is a bad parent, someone who drives differently is a bad driver, someone who worships their God differently or not at all, has different political views, different educational goals, life goals, etc., all labeled as something derogatory and condescending. Being different doesn't mean they are stupid, dumb, ignorant, or fake.

 

None of us are perfect in probably any category, let alone EVERY category of Life. We need to forgive others as we want them to forgive us, often for transgressions we are each are unaware we even committed. That "bad driver" that cut you off, might have realized it too late and feel very bad about it. That might be the first time in 5 years they've done that. Guess what, at some point in your 40-60 year driving history, you're going to accidentally cut someone off too. We all need to stop assuming the worst about each other, in every aspect of life, online AND offline. :-)

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