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Losing My Little Side.


Antoinette
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Hey guys. You may or may not recognize me, I go from being active to not active on this site and haven't properly used it in a while now. If you do know me, hey! If not I'm Antoinette and I'm generally quite an opinionated-helpful(?)-type person and you may see me around some more.

 

Now, onto the actual point of this. Since my break up with my LDR daddy from California I feel as though I lost my little side. I may have actually lost it before I broke up with him. I moved on quite quickly, onto a new relationship and a part of me is slightly ashamed to say that I had fallen in love with this person while I was dating my LDR daddy. I never allowed anything to come of the two of us until I had left Danny though (Danny is my ex). 

 

Both of us had recently came out of relationships and he's never been in a DDlg relationship, to my knowledge. It also might be worth noting that I haven't properly explained DDlg to him other than the paci/baby bottle stuff and how it's what my ex used to be into. I never expressed that it was something I used to like, or possibly still like - I'm unsure. Also, I'm not sure if it matters but my boyfriend as of rn is younger than me... I'm not sure if that plays a part in this.

 

I've been with Alfredo (my boyfriend) for two months. I know that isn't exactly a monumental amount of time but I can say that I love him, with certainty and I can say that he loves me. I experience a certain level of trust and happiness with him that I haven't ever felt before and I am extremely happy. But the problem is I don't understand where my little side has went. It's like she just up and disappeared. I somewhat miss the feeling of being little but I just... Can't get into it anymore and I don't know why. 

 

I suppose I just wanted to rant but if anybody has any idea as to why I have this mental... Block, could you please help? Thank you.

 

If TL;DR; I broke up with my ex daddy, quickly got with a new boyfriend who isn't DDlg, lost my little side (a while before getting with new guy) and am unable to find my little-side again.

Edited by xAntoinette
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I have went through spells where I felt like I lost it, convinced it was gone but it was a spell.....for a long time I used it to hide from stress and bad things happening to me because it made it stop some.....I am slowly finding it again but it is hard some days. I sorta fooled around with a inexperienced dom for awhile and very few little things were incorporated but that has since sorta fallen apart and that seemed to hurt my little space as well, I don't have alot of advice but stay true to yourself!

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i can't give direct experience related advice, but if you miss that part of you then i think you should try to be little on your own and find that part of yourself again before introducing ddlg to your boyfriend.

 

try having a little day or evening just to yourself. what kind of things used to trigger your little side? try doing those things! like watching cartoons, using a bottle or paci, cuddling stuffies, etc.

 

after you've found your little side again, bring it up with your boyfriend! just talk about it. be like "hey you know the thing that i told you my ex liked? with the bottles and pacies? turns out that i really like those things too, and i wanna explore that side of myself again." see what he says and then explain more about ddlg to him. or maybe ask if he'll research it on his own and tell you his thoughts about it later so there is less pressure on him to answer right then and there.

 

also, it's okay that he's younger than you. that won't affect his potential to be an awesome daddy for you c: there was a thread floating around here a few weeks ago and there are looots of littles with younger daddies

 

stay true to yourself!

and always remember this!!!

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I go through cycles. I call them my different selfs cause they are different people, even though it's all still me. Many "fall away", never to be seen again.

 

My point is, each self is there to have a need met. They fall away cause needs change.

 

People change, needs change, and sometimes something that was crucial to then isn't crucial now.

 

This is okay. As long as your happy, healthy and honest then you have nothing to worry about :). What you needed back then is different then what you need today.

 

My only concern is you aren't up-front about DDlg being something that was part of you. What if you cycle back?

 

Edit: age is just a number :) as long as everyone is an adult, and it's safe, sane, consensual, then your good to go!

Edited by Pinkyellowblue
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It might be that you are maturing and the lifestyle was a phase for you, nothing wrong with that. If at any point you miss any part of it, it's important that you acknowledge it as a need and talk to your partner about it. You should be ok with the fact that you might be into only some things and not others, don't feel obliged to fit a label and take on the whole package.

 

You do sound like you might be a itty bitty ashamed of your little side by saying "your ex was into it" and not directly admitting you were into it too. But it's actually a good move to not admit it until you figure out if you want to get back to it or just some parts of it, that way you don't put pressure on your new relationship since he is inexperienced in this area so you will have to guide him at first until he gets the hang of what makes you happy.

 

Overall I get the impression you are happy and that is really the most important thing, try to figure out if you keep those sippy cups and paci's out of habit or if you really like them. One way to do this would be to put everything in a box and away for a week or two and see if you miss them. If you forget about them then get rid of them when you find them again, but if you miss them then you should tell your boyfriend exactly that!

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  • 2 weeks later...

i can relate to losing the little side or perhaps misplacing it due to life circumstances. my little side was hugely important to me, but when i had my first child, my little side was misplaced. i now have 4 kids, and my little has been mostly missing during those 8 years. Toward the end of my 4th pregnancy, my husband/Master/Daddy started treating me like His babygirl again. i was over the moon and quickly slid back into my happy space (despite layers of guilt for wanting DDlg so badly, not sure why). Daddy backed off of that treatment in the months following giving birth, and i was left with a hollow inside.

i finally got up the courage to tell Him that i wanted DDlg, for real again. He was content to just be Master/slave. He thought it over and agreed to be my Daddy again.

Since then it has been harder than i would have hoped to get into my littlespace. i think there is a lot of guilt about asking Him to do this for me. It literally brings me to tears thinking about just how badly i want to be primarily DDlg (but also M/s - i don't want to give that up).

 

i can relate to the hunt to reclaim one's littleness when a relationship shifts or changes.

Sending hugs... communication with your partner - lots of little heart to hearts - should go a long way. It can be so hard to speak up, but Daddies can't read our minds. Sometimes we just have to be brave and lay out our truth to those we love.

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I can relate to this from the other side of things.  My last little lost her little side during our relationship.  She was in her early twenties over the course of it (I think your biological age is a factor, especially regarding brain chemistry) and went through some major life events including a depression.  We talked about it a lot and worked together to make her more independent and less reliant on daddy (me obviously haha), which is what she felt she needed.  I got to watch my little grow up and I got to help her do so, it was very rewarding.  I do miss her, she's about to move to another country, but I certainly can't imagine trying to keep her little for my personal satisfaction.  I'd say to make sure to let your instincts guide you.

Edited by 3toe
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