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Just a few questions:)


Megs-is-frisky
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Hello my fellow Littles!

 

I have known that I have wanted to be a Little for a while now, but my husband was a bit apprehensive about it. He said he felt weird about degrading me in any way because he has too much respect for me, which is absolutely sweet and kind.

 

Over the last few weeks I had noticed our sex getting a little rougher each time, and I enjoyed every last minute of it! I think he noticed that and this past weekend he offered me a contract to be my Daddy! :)

As you can imagine I am quite excited about this.

 

I have been told to make my expectations of him this week and this weekend we will discuss and make our contract:.

This brings me to my question as I am still fairly new to the lifestyle.

What does your contract look like? What are some of the expectations you have of your Daddy/Dom? What does he expect from you?

Do you have any good tips or advice for me?

Any little bit would help!

Thanks in advance!

-Megs <3

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Guest Daddyskitten65

I have had a couple Daddies and never had a contract...it was always just discussion of what we were comfortable with and looking for from the relationship. I've had rules before and those were written with punishments but that's all. Maybe start with some simple things and ease in.

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to be honest, your mentionning of degradation, rougher sex, and a contract.. sounds more like BDSM than DDlg, but that is ENTIRELY up to you two :)

 

whatever you enjoy, however you enjoy it, what works for you, i wish you all the best!

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My best advice is for you to think long and hard about what exactly you want. Be completely honest with yourself and him! Don't hold back! 

 

My relationship with my C/G leans more towards slave/master kind of a 50 household style but with all of the nurturing (and fun :p) and guidance of a DDLG relationship. So his expectations and my expectations are hand in hand with each other. 

As time goes on you may find that what you both expect from each other is different or growing even more. Make sure you have an open and honest flow of communication so your contract can be updated and will fit you new needs. 

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12727-a-starting-point-for-rules-rewards-punishments/

 

That was our Rule list nearly a year ago, by now it has evolved and it is quite a bit different. As we grew as individuals and as a couple, our needs and expectations grew. 

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to be honest, your mentionning of degradation, rougher sex, and a contract.. sounds more like BDSM than DDlg, but that is ENTIRELY up to you two :)

 

whatever you enjoy, however you enjoy it, what works for you, i wish you all the best!

 

DDlg is inherently BDSM. I think you mean it sounds more like a D/s type relationship. 

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DDlg is inherently BDSM. I think you mean it sounds more like a D/s type relationship. 

I wouldn't say that that is strictly true. i can definitely imagine DDlg without bondage, sadism, or masochism. what the OP sounds like she is describing is *definitely* within the purview of a D/s relationship, and it could be also DDlg, but it could just as easily *not* be DDlg. i myself didn't read anything other than the name of "Daddy" that made me think they are DDlg.

 

as far as a contract goes - i don't know if it's strictly necessary but i would just ask honestly for what you want, and if you don't know, that's ok too. people grow and change.

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I wouldn't say that that is strictly true. i can definitely imagine DDlg without bondage, sadism, or masochism. what the OP sounds like she is describing is *definitely* within the purview of a D/s relationship, and it could be also DDlg, but it could just as easily *not* be DDlg. i myself didn't read anything other than the name of "Daddy" that made me think they are DDlg.

 

as far as a contract goes - i don't know if it's strictly necessary but i would just ask honestly for what you want, and if you don't know, that's ok too. people grow and change.

 

DDlg is generally recognised as a sub-category of BDSM. Hence the uh, domination part. Hence the Daddy Dom. At it's core DDlg is BDSM, but if you choose not to incorporate 'BDSM-type' behavior cool, that's your dynamic. It doesn't change the 'roots' of DDlg. 

 

Sorry if this comes across as mean-spirited, people can get that vibe from how I talk/type, so I'm just clarifying here that I'm not being that way.

I'm just putting my opinion out there.

 

EDIT: I'd also like to add that the separation of BDSM and DDlg generally comes from the misconception that BDSM has to involve certain things (whips, chains, pain, etc.) and I think we can universally agree that that's not true. It's more than that. Generally DDlg is seen as BDSM not because of physical attributes but rather the power exchange involved. DDs holding the (most) power whereas littles have the least, in most cases. That's just how I see it anyway.

Edited by xAntoinette
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 DDs holding the (most) power whereas littles have the least, in most cases. That's just how I see it anyway.

No unless my understanding is somehow flawed the DD only has as much power as the little gives them. So no in reality it is the DD with the least power

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No unless my understanding is somehow flawed the DD only has as much power as the little gives them. So no in reality it is the DD with the least power

If they took more power than their partner consensually gave them, it would be abusive. I'm not sure I understand your logic here. The sub agrees to be a sub, but it's not like it's plausible in any other way. It's not like the dom can just take their partner and force them into submission. That's wrong and abusive.

 

Subs give up their power to their Dom, so the Dom is the one in control.

 

I also want to apologize for this thread going a little bit off track, but I also think it's good for OP and others in the community to have discussions like this :3

 

Edit: @Megs-is-frisky, you keep mentioning a contract, but from what I've seen, rules and punishments are way more common than a contract. Contracts are (from what people have said) more of a D/s type relationship in a different sub-category of bdsm (rather than this one). That doesn't mean you're not welcome or don't belong here! By all means stay and learn more of the lifestyle!

 

Here's a (sfw) forum topic that might help. It's a masterlist of rules. Some littles have rules for their daddy, but I've noticed that most don't.

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2210-what-are-your-rules

 

General advice: don't let anything happen if you wouldn't let it happen in a vanilla relationship. Have a safe word. Have a word or phrase that means "I don't want to be your sub right now, I want to be your partner." so you two can sit aside and talk about what is/isn't working. Just because he's your daddy now doesn't mean he can do anything you don't want. Everything is consensual.

 

Good luck! I hope you're both happy (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*

Edited by cuppycakes
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What I posted was basically the short version of what we are hoping to achieve from this lifestyle.

We are definitely dd/lg yes we are rough and that's the way we like things, but I am also looking for the nurturing child like side of things too.

I feel like this dynamic is going to help our relationship grow and florish. And I 100% expect us to evolve over time. My husband has several mental disorders, bi polar, depression, and anxiety are the biggest. And we both feel as though giving him an outlet for his anger (consentually of course) during sex is a good way for him to let that out.

And as for the nurturing side of things I think his will be good for me, when he has his bi polar mood swings and freaks out, he is much more perspective and willing to console me, rather than just an apology.

 

I really appreciate all the comments and advice.

I was leaning more towards the contract because that's what I was told worked for someone else I know. But it seems as though rules and punishments might work out a little better for us to start off with, and work out way from there.

I also definitely agree with the power exchange comment, I am giving him the power to dominate me and do with me as he wishes and he is giving me the power to be little and not have to worry about everyday life for a while.

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