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long distance relationships


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LDR's appear to be all the rage on this site. Is that out of necessity? Do some of you people prefer long distance? I've had a long distance vanilla relationship and... I wasn't impressed haha.

 

I'd like to hear from those of you with long distance DDlg experience and get your thoughts on the subject. What you like, didn't like, if it's what you wanted or not, anything related. Thanks!

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LDR can be hard at times. But with a real bond you can deal with it.

 

But there are more than one reason for LDR. Out of necessity when you found the right one but are just too far away..

 

Or when one or both don't feel like taking it to the next level (yet).

 

In the end distance is pretty relative. Flights are cheap and when both really fall in live and want it to be more than a LDR you can still move.

 

Personally I don't mind starting with a LDR when meeting and more is something to be expected for the future.

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Guest MichaelTucker71
I agree with Mr. Bear. With me personally, I am a bit guarded and need some time to get completely comfortable. I am in no way opposed to travel/moving if the dynamic of the relationship warrants it. I don't want to jump into a meeting to find out the chemistry isn't there in person. That happend to me before and I don't really care to repeat it if possible.
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Guest Senpai Dragon
For the most part, I am in what I would consider my first LDR, as up until now everyone I have dated has been in same town, or close enough to still see daily if needed. I have noticed with the LDR aspect, it takes lots of effort on both sides to make a real relationship from it, and I noticed what has been built is a closer and stronger bond because of it. The main thing is communicate and find things to do together. There are alot of things can be done to share time, so embrace it for what it can build and its great. Use the time to really learn your partner.
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I HATED, HATED, HAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEEEEEED the idea of LDR. So much so I wrote this gem - https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12713-mandatory-ldr/ and advocated against it for so long. I hated every aspect of it, I grew annoyed when people had LDRs fizzle out after a week and then complained about it endlessly. I was THAT person with LDRs.

 

...until I met my Daddy. Who literally lives on the other side on the world.

 

Now I am very grateful for LDRs simply because it has brought us together. But I can say, without a doubt, permanent LDR is not something I could survive. My Daddy and I were in an LDR for 5 months and then I flew over to meet him. We had to know how we would click in RL for the sake of our relationship. Now we know we match on every level, I came home to wrap things up so I can move in with him. But being apart from him after seeing him? Being back in a LDR is probably the worst form of torture I have ever had to emotionally endure - which, not to go into detail, is kinda saying something for me.

 

I honestly give kudos to those who can do LDR on a permanent basis because I am simply not strong enough. I can't do it. It has been two months since I came back from my Daddy's and if feels like two years and it hurts an amount I didn't know was possible.

 

But even with all of that negativity - I now see the merit in LDRs, I now know why they can be so helpful. If I hadn't allowed my mind to open up to the idea (and same for my Daddy, he hates LDRs also) then we never would've considered each other. And that is a reality I don't want to think about.

 

As for this forum, I think it is a convenience thing - our community is so sparse and spread out, I think in most cases an LDR is almost mandatory. At least in the beginning. Which is why we probably see so many here.

 

My opinion, now that I have been enlightened, there are many reasons why people are drawn into LDRs. But no, its not mandatory. It is simply the only option or their personal preferences :)

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Guest StonerBaby

Idk about the rest butfor me starting long distance helps me get to know my partner and share things it would normally take me much longer to share in person..the ultimate goal in long distance for me is to eventually be with my Daddy * blushes* and I finally found that for real , moving in with my Daddy in a few weeks...

 

 

I know from past experience with ldr that a lot of people just say they want the relationship but its more of friends with benifits til they get bored n ghost out..

 

Ldr can be difficult but if your completely open and honest then it can work...but it requires a bit more effort than in person and a lot of people can't handle the intensity of it with ddlg added..the term "needy and clingy" is a real thing for littles ..we get that way n get insecure when that isn't taken care of

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Personally I am fine with a relationship starting out as a LDR as long as the option or goal is eventually be in person.

It is definitely harder starting out as you are required to put in effort in the non traditional ways. But there are so many ways to interact with technology that ia does make it easier to do things together even if on the other side of the world.

You can build a bond just as if you were in same city. I think the bond is stronger or can be stronger starting out LDR. In some cases it can be better for those littles or even caregivers that have been hurt in the past redevelop a relationship a little slower.

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For me at least a ldr can be very annoying depending how far away they are and if there is a time difference but at times its better esspetially if one or both have trust issues like me where they try to push people away the distance limits how much they can push
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Guest infinitecases

I think LDRs are quite prevalent on this site only because it's difficult to find someone who is a little/daddy etc in your area if there are no meet ups or communities for people to attend or maybe they're most comfortable with exploring this side of themselves online? Lots of people end up then finding someone online who could be thousands of miles away hence starting an LDR. 

 

I don't think an LDR is often a preference - I would much prefer to live with my daddy but if you love them and they live far away, an LDR is worth it :) Of course, they are very frustrating at times and difficult but I guess it really just depends on the person you meet because, for the right person, an LDR won't sound terrifying at all.  :)

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Guest Mittens

LDR is something I strive for in the beginning of a relationship. Relationships are built off communication and you aren't distracted by looking at her beauty or being sexual with her. You get 100% focus and can learn everything about the person. It's no different than going on a date and sitting at a dinner table and talking with her without the food.  In fact you can both sit at dinner tables and skype to each other as if it were a real date. You are talking, you are communicating, you are getting to know the person, their mind, their way of thinking. Being in person or being online makes no difference, the same information is being gathered. It seems like these aren't things you focus on much, if you need real life relationships. I know how important things like sex can be, but it's not all of a relationship unless that's all the other person wants too. But then we get into clicking with someone, and at that point genres groups or anything else doesn't matter. You are now you, and unique rather than "labeled". To me I like to get used to the person, it gives me time to plan for the future and see what to do, when to visit, when not to. It also builds up emotions. With my now ex, we have so much love and affection for each other that we wanted to see each other a month after meeting. It built up so much and finally being able to hug her and kiss her was the most wonderful feeling ever. Where with my real life ex's it was just.. nothing impressive.  There was no build up at all, there was no rush of feelings and that longing to hug and hold and kiss and caress. But, that's me.

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