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Questioning my little self


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i can relate to this!! i remember the heady frenzy of discovering my little side and the intense state of excitement and, for me personally, arousal.

After having children, my little side was harder to get in touch with - as was His Daddy side.

W/we shifted O/our dynamic more strongly to M/s (Master/slave) as W/we re-integrated BDSM into O/our daily lives (around the time i had baby #3!) For years i longed for and missed it and finally i told Him i needed the DDlg part back.

It has been a slow go for Him to get back that headspace, and for me to trust and let go and be little again. But it has gotten better and i am finally starting to feel like my needs are getting met.


Communication is SO important. Daddy had no idea i was missing DDlg so badly until i told Him! Even if right now, today, it is hard to get in that headspace for obe or both of you, if you keep the conversation open, maybe you won't have such a long road back like i did. ♡

He will never know your feelings if you don't share them with him!


Having kids puts a lot of grownup responsibility on you and your partner. It was SO hard to feel little when i was making my days all about caring for a baby! Be patient with yourself, sometimes pieces of relationships ebb and flow. A little lull after a baby arrives can be overcome. They do become a little less all-consuming as they get bigger!


Hugs to you!!

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Disclaimer: Personal opinion etc.

It's normal in ANY life to feel this way at times. As humans we have succeeded through exploration and discovery, so at times we tend to crave change, and we always get more excited about newer things. This is something all people from all walks of life need to learn to deal with in their own ways, some people take up a new hobby or just have a holiday, others might have a fully blown midlife crisis.

In relation to being in a DDLG relationship, I think basically that this issue does not directly relate. This kind of thing will happen regardless of how vanilla or not your life is. If you still feel more comfortable with the DDLG life then a normal life than stick with it, otherwise it may be time to reconsider.

Either way, like I said, this problem is independent of DDLG, and any number of things could help. Maybe try new things during 'playtime' or just a nice date night. If it continues then you may even want to seek professional help, sadness that does not go away is depression and should be taken seriously.

Sometimes a little break is all you need too, hopefully other people can give you more good suggestions.

I know how much life in general can get you down at times, being able to get through these times is what really matters. I also have a young child (20 months) and I know how hard It can seem at times, I hope you feel better soon.

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The excitement of something new is always going to fizzle out. Due to things, well, not being new anymore. That doesn't mean you have to scrap the lifestyle completely and start anew, it just means that you're passed the initial newness of it all. 


If you don't feel satisfied in your relationship I would suggest that you discuss it with your partner and also talk about things you can both do to improve that - perhaps the daddy role hasn't been as fulfilling for him as he'd like to and he wants to talk about that but he's too nervous for whatever reason. You just have to talk. But, don't talk when you're in little space, talk to one another as adults.


Have you ever considered surprising you DD with things that he might like? Thinks to aid his Daddy space? So I don't know even things that are as simple as a coloured picture for him, or a little hand written letter. I'm not entirely sure, as I don't know what kind of a daddy he is. You could always do that. Because, it's nice to be on the receiving end of the gifts - and littles very often are, but I think a lot of us seem to forget that daddies like receiving gifts too! It's not just a little thing, we should spoil daddies too.


But overall, I just think this can be fixed with a little communication and a little more effort from both sides.

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Thank you all for the suggestions! Communication is definitely something we have to work on, always need to improve it even after 7 years. I've always been the one to bottle something up, I don't like to talk about my feelings and problems. Always been that way since I was younger and living at home. I guess I need to work on my little space too though, do it for me and not just together. And a babysitter for us time is probably definitely needed. As for his daddy space I don't really know much about it. He hasn't mentioned a lot, we focus on me mostly. But that is a very good idea about giving him presents from my little self. Thank you all for the suggestions, I lumped all the thank you so into one because time to type with my son running around is limited haha



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