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Percentage of "creepy" DD on the internets


unsparingcuddle
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Hey, from some time spent around these parts it seems that many of the littles around here have had some issues of being exposed to "creepy" DDs in various places. I'm wondering if this is an epidemic that is happening more often than not or perhaps the experiences were few and far between yet so strong that they made a lasting impact. 

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Guest now_in_3D

You bring up a good point. I'm an older daddy (42) and often get nervous when chatting with a little because I worry that they'll think I'm a creep. In my opinion the stigma of being a creep carries over to even those that are well intentioned regardless of the actual number of occurances happening out on the interwebs. Once it too often for a lttle to have a creepy encounter and I think it can sour future interactions.

 

On that note, I also think that it can go in the other direction too. Daddies can get discouraged from talking to littles by those littles that try to take advantage of someone. Those that only want attention, or turn out to be cam girls, or men disguising themselves as little girls. All of that can be damaging to the dynamic for both sincere daddies and sincere littles.

 

My two cents anyway.

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I'm relatively new, and I'm not on FetLife or any other kink sites at the moment. But, from what I gather, its not just Daddy Doms, it's Doms in general. It's seems like an epidemic to me. The internet allows people, Doms and subs alike, tO portray themselves as whatever they like.

 

I read an article recently that suggested that only 1 in 10 online dominants are actually true dominants. I think it's More like 1 in 20. This site is different though. I haven't seen many creepers, and fakes seem to drop out quick. Just my 2 cents.

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You bring up a good point. I'm an older daddy (42) and often get nervous when chatting with a little because I worry that they'll think I'm a creep. In my opinion the stigma of being a creep carries over to even those that are well intentioned regardless of the actual number of occurances happening out on the interwebs. Once it too often for a lttle to have a creepy encounter and I think it can sour future interactions.

 

On that note, I also think that it can go in the other direction too. Daddies can get discouraged from talking to littles by those littles that try to take advantage of someone. Those that only want attention, or turn out to be cam girls, or men disguising themselves as little girls. All of that can be damaging to the dynamic for both sincere daddies and sincere littles.

 

My two cents anyway.

I agree, there's a lot of fakery on the internet and I would imagine the "nervousness" you speak of might create a creepy vibe. As for cam girls, are they really resorting to posing as littles? I haven't picked up anyone online ever in the traditional sense of being a pick up artist. I have had relationships start from online interactions, but that was never the intention so it involved us getting to know each other before feelings developed, minimizing any creepiness in general. I never really thought about how creepy picking people up online seems on the surface and I would imagine many are genuine, but it's always revolved around me being demiromantic in that I'd have to learn about someone before anything went down. 

 

I'm relatively new, and I'm not on FetLife or any other kink sites at the moment. But, from what I gather, its not just Daddy Doms, it's Doms in general. It's seems like an epidemic to me. The internet allows people, Doms and subs alike, tO portray themselves as whatever they like.

 

I read an article recently that suggested that only 1 in 10 online dominants are actually true dominants. I think it's More like 1 in 20. This site is different though. I haven't seen many creepers, and fakes seem to drop out quick. Just my 2 cents.

I would imagine that many men like the idea of being a dom for what they think it is, but really don't have the nuances inside them.

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Guest curious-babydoll

I've had my fair share of fake doms. Even more so when I was underage and more so looking for information. I had Multiple grown men say they were okay with me being underage. I was naive at the time. I didn't realize how dangerous they were. I know people on both sides of that: "littles" thinking being a little was just kind of sort of being subby/being cute and getting spoiled. Lots of topping from the bottom and no real interest in the lifestyle. and a few guys thinking saying they were a self declared "Dom" that they were entitled to all subs/littles. I know both sides that had the idea of DDlg ruined because of fake people in the community.

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I've had my fair share of fake doms. Even more so when I was underage and more so looking for information. I had Multiple grown men say they were okay with me being underage. I was naive at the time. I didn't realize how dangerous they were. I know people on both sides of that: "littles" thinking being a little was just kind of sort of being subby/being cute and getting spoiled. Lots of topping from the bottom and no real interest in the lifestyle. and a few guys thinking saying they were a self declared "Dom" that they were entitled to all subs/littles. I know both sides that had the idea of DDlg ruined because of fake people in the community.

Your examples of the grown men not having a problem with your age is creepy and I don't think that's debatable.

 

As for the "doms" feeling entitlement to ALL the littles, that is a classic case of undeserved arrogance and unfortunately it's very common.

 

Thanks for the share!

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Guest Pouty Kitten

I've come across tons of "Daddies" who are super creepy on FetLife. Most of the time, those "Daddies" or "Doms" are only in it for sexual reasons. That's the internet though =\

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Aren't there creeps everywhere? As I haven't been online looking for a dom, ever, I don't really have that much experience, but I was called " a worthless slut" on KIK yesterday by a DD from one of the group chats because I didn't send nudes. 

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In all truth you can find creepy people everywhere...

 

When I was in my young teens I discovered chatrooms and the like. There were plenty of adults who encouraged me to send nudes and the like... they didn't care that I was under the age of eighteen. So that was my introduction to the internet world.

 

Now that I am above eighteen (I still look under the age of eighteen...) there are quite a few people who assume I am underage and want to get nudes from me. That being said it's regular people doing this. So there are regular people who are just plain creepy.

 

I have come across several 'Daddy Dom's' who are just plain old mean people who don't respect my comfort. They've started off with trying to be my Daddy which is definitely not a good sign. 

 

I am sure there are creepy little's as well as mentioned above. There are people out there who only think of themselves. 

 

Although, if you don't look past that then you will never find the hidden gems.

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Okay, I'll weigh in on this. I'm an older daddy as well.  Sometimes that can be a red flag and it takes a while to overcome the assumption that I'm creepy (which I am not).  

 

The reason it seems like an epidemic is because of the anonymity of social interactions now.  It's possible to  say you're 25 years old, tall and handsome with lots of experience being a daddy, just to get nude photos or start an online sexual relationship. I think creepy men are going to take advantage of unsuspecting girls, no matter if they are Littles, subs or whatever.  FetLife seems to me to be some kind of meat market with guys just making lewd comments on anything posted by women.  I rarely visit FetLife unless I'm bored to tears.

 

It is sad that there is such an abundance of rude men that have no respect for women.  Chances are it's not going to get better anytime soon.  So girls, just keep you guard up and report rude advances or comments to the Mods.

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I've seen a TON on Fetlife-mostly those who think they are somehow automatically your Dom, which makes no sense to me. My profile clearly states that I am in a relationship. :( That's one of the many reasons why I am so glad I found you guys. I feel safe here.
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I'm wondering if this is an epidemic that is happening more often than not or perhaps the experiences were few and far between yet so strong that they made a lasting impact. 

 

It is something that has been occuring since fetishes/lifestyles and social media colided. Normally these types of people are either not going to local events much at all and/or are going to be much more discreet/creepy/douchebag-ish in public. So with the introduction of social media and lifestyles you have these same people seeking out people to manipulate.

 

If you need any proof that this isn't just a lifestyle issue, check out any dating website and ask girls about the type of messages they get. Girls get so many messages and unsolicited dick pics that it's mind boggling.

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I think in general creepy are everywhere ! Also there some times that creepy can be relative what one person finds wierd may not be odd to someone else. I am new to all this and I feel when they find out your new you get all the wierd ones comming at once like your fresh meat

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In my experience, what the creep factor boils down to is people wanting someone to submit to them without actually understanding in the ins and outs of BSDM as a whole. (Safe words, after care, etc etc). 

 

I don't think the experiences are few in number though. I've seen a lot of littles get harassed on tumblr & ive been harassed a lot on chat sites by guys who think they're automatically your dom because they say so. The interactions weren't so strong they made an impact (on me at least) there are just a lot of guys like that and it's more annoying than anything :p

 

I feel like the common factor with a lot of creeps that I run into are that they're just interested in a quick fuck,  and they dont care about about how BDSM or DD/lg actually work. 

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Guest harlequinkid

I've had a lot of bad experiences on Fetlife, some on tumblr, & some in chat rooms. Fetlife was the worst out of all of these; people did assume that they were automatically my dom because they were "nice" to me in their first message. I got harassed because I wouldn't post or send them nudes & because I wouldn't give out my IM/phone number/email address to them right away. I've had exes (who were interested in being doms) who were just down right abusive & didn't respect my limits.

 

& so now, I'm really scared to seek out a daddy dom & be in a relationship (of any kind) with one. It actually took me a ton of courage to join this site...but that being said, there don't seem to be a lot of creepy people here, & I feel rather comfortable being here. So I'm glad that I did join. :)

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Guest harlequinkid

Yes, unfortunately Fetlife, Alt.com, and Collarspace/collarme have turned into meat markets, collarspace being the worst in my opinion. Fetlife isn't all that bad though, it's actually more of a social networking site than a blatant dating site, it's just used by many people as the former. It's great for finding events and groups of like minded people, but as the lifestyle comes more into the light, all of these sites draw in more newbies, abusers, and horny folks - most of them not interested in learning, just interested in getting off.

 

That's why I like that this site has more of a focus on community, discussion, and friendship. You'll see that our personal section blows up daily, but many of those people never stick around on the site much longer than a day or two.

I didn't mean to say that Fetlife is purely bad, & I apologize if it sounded that way. I just meant to say that I personally had more bad than good experiences--enough that I didn't want to use the site anymore. I'm glad that it's helpful to some people, as far as finding events & such. 

 

I feel like this site does have more of a focus on community, friendship, & discussion; I really appreciate that!! 

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My worst experience has been on Kinksters chat. When I went in the main, I got ignored for the most part. The few times someone did talk to me it was either some guy telling me he was going to be  my Daddy (never mind that I have a Daddy and didn't hide that) A couple times it turned out to be someone who didn't get that it was a BDSM lifestyle room for adults.....and only adults.....and would start talking inappropriately about actual kids. That turned my stomach and got the chat ended, and the person blocked immediately. That is NOT what DDlg is and that is far from acceptable in the community...but these people didn't seem to care.

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  • 3 weeks later...

In all truth you can find creepy people everywhere...

 

When I was in my young teens I discovered chatrooms and the like. There were plenty of adults who encouraged me to send nudes and the like... they didn't care that I was under the age of eighteen. So that was my introduction to the internet world.

 

Now that I am above eighteen (I still look under the age of eighteen...) there are quite a few people who assume I am underage and want to get nudes from me. That being said it's regular people doing this. So there are regular people who are just plain creepy.

 

I have come across several 'Daddy Dom's' who are just plain old mean people who don't respect my comfort. They've started off with trying to be my Daddy which is definitely not a good sign. 

 

I am sure there are creepy little's as well as mentioned above. There are people out there who only think of themselves. 

 

Although, if you don't look past that then you will never find the hidden gems.

I agree with sublime about there being mean daddy doms my little had one before me and she doesn't like to do certain things because of punishments he would inflict. He'd punish her and make her call him so he could hear her cry. It makes me so mad and sad that she had to go through that. Why would any daddy dom ever want to hear there little cry? That's so mean.
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  • 2 weeks later...

I had my worst encounters on Fetlife, when I first signed up, and discovered BDSM and DD/lg. 
I didn't want to come across as a judgemental prude, so I added most people who I thought were nice enough to browser my profile and add me. 

SOME EVEN MESSAGED ME! 

Then guys started messaging me asking crude questions on the first message and telling me how they were a Daddy even though they OBVIOUSLY had no idea what the DD/lg dynamic was. 

Some of the things these guys said to me was disgusting. And I can't be bias, there were definitely women who messaged me with disgusting messages that really did scare me!

I ended up deleting and blocking all the males that had messaged me, and deleting all males from my friends list.

I have just started rebuilding my friends list, and now any male on my list is not interested in me at all sexually, one of my friends Daddies, or someone from here. 

 

There are creeps everywhere. You just have to deal with it and not let it get out of hand. 

Your safety comes first. <3 

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I once joined fetlife for a brief period of time (about two months) and found that my inbox was flooded on a daily basis with messages from men proclaiming to be a daddy and wishing to procure me whatever it is I desired. Many of the messages were crude (complete with cruder photos), some were idiotic with aspirations to be persuasive and sappy, and some were just pathetic. I find that a lot of the proclaimed daddy's on there have confused being a daddy dom with a sugar daddy. One man who I engaged with for a month or so definitely had the definitions mixed up to the point where when we met, he had brought expensive gifts for me and essentially tried to seduce me with money. I think that's the second most common scenario on fetlife, right under perverts who are just trying to look for an undercover fling. I did have a friendship with one other man on the site who initially did have a proper definition of what it meant to be a daddy. I expressed that I would like to be strictly friends online but as time wore on he became more and more demanding of my time and whereabouts and I stopped speaking to him. Many of the men on there have some dangerous character flaw ranging from insanely possessive to misogynistic. It's a site to be wary of and I would never return to it. 

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I'm on fetlife. I've joined mutliple groups. and I ask questions whenever I want to do research. I do reading and research whenever I can. Otherwise, I do let ppl know I"m not hooking up with them. but someone people are just stubborn. 

 

One dom got mad at me, saying I wasn't a real sub because I wouldnt give him extra respect. 

 

yeah. 

 

not ok

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Over the years, I've most definitely noticed that there are quite a few fake daddies and littles, although mostly fake daddies. It's a shame that some people use the daddy/dom title just to have an excuse to "talk dirty" and get what they want. It really has tarnished the reputation for a lot of daddies. I also feel for the older daddies who have to deal with the "creeps" who roam the internet. Honestly, it's sort of made me panic. I feel the need to hurry up and find a little while I'm still in my early 20's because I feel it just gets harder as you get older unfortunately :(

 

As for creepy/fake littles, they exist too and I've encountered a fair share. There was one little I had met online, and we became a long distance dd/lg relationship for a while. However, she became extremely needy and not understanding, texting me literally hundreds of times while I was at work or school and getting upset that I wasn't answering. I eventually told her this wasn't going to work out, and she became absolutely irate, to the point where she was threatening me. I blocked her, and she continued to text me from different numbers. Eventually it stopped, but it was very terrifying and has made me very skeptical going into a ddlg relationship ever since :/

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  • 1 year later...

In my experience, what the creep factor boils down to is people wanting someone to submit to them without actually understanding in the ins and outs of BSDM as a whole. (Safe words, after care, etc etc). 

 

I don't think the experiences are few in number though. I've seen a lot of littles get harassed on tumblr & ive been harassed a lot on chat sites by guys who think they're automatically your dom because they say so. The interactions weren't so strong they made an impact (on me at least) there are just a lot of guys like that and it's more annoying than anything :p

 

I feel like the common factor with a lot of creeps that I run into are that they're just interested in a quick fuck,  and they dont care about about how BDSM or DD/lg actually work. 

 

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Guest RedDragon
I don't think the identification of Daddy's has anything to do with it. I was on various dating apps and heard the same from many girls looking for vanilla relationships as well. Men and women are so very different in so many ways. It's what makes the union so special. Unfortunately, the ego is a large part of the male psyche and contributes to our ridiculousness when we allow it. Dom or otherwise, a man's ego and sexual appetite conspire to do terrible things when left unchecked. Look for a Daddy who shows you his patience, not just through words but through action (or the absence of).
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