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my daddy embarrassed me :(


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i really need some advice. a few nights ago i guess i did something that daddy didn't like. he didn't tell me at the time of the behaviour that he was put off by it. he brought it up the next day, but in a shamey way. he was actually kind of mean about it and i'm so embarrassed now. i felt immediately embarrassed when he was talking about it, but I still feel embarrassed and it's been a few days.


i want to talk about it with him, but at the same time i want to run away and hide forever and pretend like it never happened. i'm so confused! it definitely has impacted our playtime because now i'm constantly thinking about it, focussing on making sure I don't do that again (even though I've done it before sometimes and it never was a bad thing, or even a thing at all.. daddy never said anything about it before- good or bad). Also, now im so focussed on any of my behaviours, most of which happen in the "heat of the moment" - im so scared now to do anything that daddy hates and will make him mad. Although, he didn't seem mad, just turned off (I guess) and really mean about how he expressed himself.


I need some help. I don't know how to bring up a conversation about it, or if I even want to :( I don't want to feel so embarrassed about it all forever though.

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Have an adult conversation about it. It's not fair that he brought it up in a mean way, he should've said it in a kinder manner. If it was something he didn't enjoy he should have expressed that as an adult, not in a childish way - that's not fair to you. Express how that made you feel, how it's currently making you feel. It's unfair of him to do that to you, to make you feel like that. 

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I agree with Antoinette. You gotta talk with Daddy. You can have the conversation in your big space or your little space or both depending on your Daddy.  With my Daddy, I am able to slip in and out of my big and little spaces as well as my other spaces and the conversation remains the same, meaning he takes me serious no matter what. Sometimes it's easier for me to explain my feelings to him as his little than as big me.

One thing you should also ask about is if Daddy likes to embarrass you and if he doe what he means or intends by it. my Daddy embarrasses me a lot but I know now, that it's his way of showing me that he is paying attention to me and he has apologized when it's too much and too far.


Good luck.

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There might be an orange flag here. Self-esteem is something essential. 

Should this sort of situation where you are wary of not being a good girl when you never can predict what is going to be considered good,become common I would call it manipulation ...

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There is defiantly a breakdown of communication in this instance on both sides; the lack of communication and inconsistent verbal expectations on your Daddy's end, and your fear of talking about it. 
Fear is a barrier that creates immense levels of ineffective communication. Regardless of if you recognize it or not; you are communicating. Only 7% of communication that you share is verbal, and your Daddy is defiantly picking up on the tension. Attempt to clear the air and effectively communicate as adults. Try not to use 'you statements'. We tell the person what they did or didn’t do, whether it was right or wrong or what he should or shouldn’t be doing. Such statements, more often than not sound like accusations and blame.



"You hurt my feelings"  

Instead use the phrase
"I feel like my feelings were hurt."

Get in touch with your emotions and share them. They are valid and should not be dismissed.

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