Help???

[EriSol211]

So I recently got into a relationship with someone, and I would really like to tell her im a little but i dont really know how to go about doing it. Ive never told anyone before so its new to me. I think she'll understand but im not quite sure. Any advice?

Edited August 17, 2017 by EriSol211

[LittleBabyKitty]

Depends how recent the relationship is.  I would say just do little things (coloring, drinking juiceboxes, cuddling stuffies at night, etc) or whatever it is you DO to make you get into little space.  I'm naturally little when I wake up, and before bed, but sometimes I'm little throughout the day if my Daddy says or does something to put me in that space....

 

Anyway, yeah...do your usual little stuff in front of her, and if she reacts like she's weirded out, then do you really wanna pursue that relationship?  If you wanna color--then color!  Ask her if she wants to color with you.  If you wanna eat little snacks or cuddle with stuffies while you two are hanging out, then do it!  If she asks you why you do these things, just tell her it's part of who you are, and sometimes "little" you comes out.  Try to educate her about it in a calm, non-defensive way, even if she gets judgey about it.

 

Don't apologize for it or "tone it down" for her.  Just be you.  99.9% sure she's  already seen these little tendencies in you, and she's probably fine with it.  You know her better than any of us do, so go with your instinct when it comes to approaching this subject with her.

 

I hope everything goes well for you and her!

[Guest Volkmane1985]

This might not be helpful but you could say that you wanted to show them something and load up this website?

[Guest StonerBaby]

Showing her a website about it may have a different result that what your looking for...she may be weirded out and leave..or possibly assume you want her to be little because of the ratio of female to male littles...i pretty much did like littlebabykitten said...just started showing more of that side of me and it was accepted as part of who i am..doesnt change the things i like as adult me..its best to be open and honest..be open to boundaries about it if its something completely new to her so she has time to process and accept things

[SkunkPrincess]

As LittleBabyKitty said, be little! Don't go over the top but do something like coloring and ask her if she wants to color with you. After a while she is used to it and then slowly tell her about being little. She will be used to it already.

[Guest Volkmane1985]

Hmm perhaps they aren't the right person for you?

[BonBeau]

Ah i was planning to talk to her about it later today but the topic came up at lunch and she said she thinks ddlg is "discusting" so now im really debating telling her or not.

Sorry to hear that happened. Sounds stressful. Since you are a little, dating someone who not only doesn't like it, but is disgusted that might mean they aren't the person for you. If someone is disgusted by something about me i feel the person isn't a good fit. Also, that they may not have the same values that i do. For me, I want to know those things early on so I don't get attached to them when they aren't s good fit for me.

 

Sometimes people think things a disgusting when they don't know anything about it so the big question is are you interested enough in the person to discuss it and decide if that's something she's open to doing. With that, you would ideally tell her because it's not fair for you to do that work alone. It's really hard to hold something like that in, especially when you're trying to form a romantic relationship. You deserve to be with someone as your full self.

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

Hey, welcome to the forum.  Unfortunately, people can have negative ideas about something they don't understand.  This is one of the reason I discourage the use of labels when telling someone about any kind of kink/lifestyle.  I can color, skip, blow bubbles, and wear all the fluffy pink dresses I want and my family won't care.  But if I sit them down and say, "I am in to DDLG, which is an offshoot of BDSM," the first thing they are going to do is google those terms.  And then freak out and lock me in a cellar somewhere.

 

Here are some older topics that discuss this same line of thought, hope it helps:

How do I tell my husband: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16903-how-to-tell-my-husband/

Have you ever told anyone: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2424-have-you-ever-told-anyone/

How did you introduce DDLG into your relationship: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/1530-how-did-you-introduce-ddlg-into-your-relationship/

Did you come out as a little: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15891-did-you-come-out-as-a-little/

 

Good luck!

[Untwisted]

Exactly that about labels.  I'd been "doing ddlg things" long before I discovered that there was a name for it.
Labels have their uses as a rough guide, but there's no one true way and one person's interpretation is going to be different to someone elses (don't get me started on "fake vs real"!).

Just do the things you want to do but don't make out that it's all part of some lifestyle.  Over time you could maybe bring it up and say that all these things you do are what ddlg is to a lot of people, or just leave it and not worry about the label at all.

Hope it goes well for you.