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Lost little needing help


SpaceWhiskers
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I am going to start of with saying this is going to be a bit wordy, but I have quite a bit I want to get off my chest.

 

A few days ago I fell in to a weak moment for me after I came to the realization that the biggest project that is currently going on in my life is finished. I am a furry and just finished my full body suit of my fursona Dream Chaser that has taken about four months to build and was starting to feel really lost not knowing what to do. In this state I ended up telling my two closest friends one of my deepest darkest secrets I have to date. So secret that I have never fully disclosed this to even my mother that that I normally tell everything to as we are just normally that closes.

 

That secret is what happens to be my little space. Now I have known about this for about two years now since becoming a furry, as a few of my friends are very open about their personal life on social media and have been able to make comparisons. Now since talking to my two friends, I have realized with a little bit of soul searching, I have discovered that I have been this way for about ten years now Just didn’t know there was a name for it. The problem is early on in my endeavors I was caught a few times by my parents. The results were always the same, getting scalded at and taking to a psychologist. Resulting in me always being embarrassed about this side of me and always suppressing it as I was always told it was wrong.

Now that I have gotten older I find it harder and harder to suppress it and usual succumb to my guilty pleasures enough to soothe me but usual feel worse afterwords due to always been told this is wrong.

 

Now with telling my friends they have been the first to people to actually understand and not look down on me for being a little. Now the question is where do I go from here? This is a side of me that I am tired of hiding but it is going to take sometime for me to feel comfortable again after suppressing this for nearly 10 years.

 

Not going to lie tho, after realizing this it made so much since as I have notice that for the last six months to a year that when I don’t have to be an adult any more, I switch straight in to little mode once I am comfortable, just most never leaves my head to stay conspicuous. The other thing has been that I have always been a person that craves direction, other ways I am useless which has been something I have grown to live with but never been truly happy.

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First off let me say furries absolutely fascinate me, I know it doesn't necessarily have a lot to do with the topic at hand but props to you for being so open about being a furry - I feel like with meme culture (which I openly participate in and enjoy, don't get me wrong) furries endure so much ridicule and shame - so props to you.

 

Anyway, onto the topic at hand. It is perfectly normal for you to have these emotions, to feel somewhat guilty but I can assure you that with time, as you explore your little space more and more the shame will dissipate as you realise you're not doing anything wrong or hurtful. You're merely regressing to a head space which makes you feel more comfortable or gives you an escape - and what is there to feel guilty about that? 

 

I don't know if it was ever mentioned when you visited psychologists but age regression is a very common coping mechanism for people with all different types of trauma and mental illnesses, it's quite common for psychologists to even encourage this headspace in order to help their patients cope. So yet again, what's the point in feeling guilty when it's actually encouraged by psychologists?

 

I truly believe that as you slip into little space more and more and as you continue to learn about yourself you will realise that it's honestly nothing to be ashamed of and you'll grow more comfortable with it. Just don't suppress your little side, allow it to come and go and when you're having feelings of guilt ask yourself why? What happened that was bad? Did you hurt anybody? Did you do anything wrong? Just attempt to get your mind in a rational place where you can acknowledge that nothing you did was worth those emotions. 

 

Good luck!

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I just wanted to say thank for the response. Sorry it took so long but I do suffer from a bit of social anxiety when it comes to stuff like this.

 

While you are right the furry thing is a bit off topic. You may be right furries do tend to have a negative stigma attached to the name. But it is one of the most accepting groups I've been a part of. I just love the community, they are just so open about everything. It's always been a place where I feel comfortable with being myself.

 

You are right it's just going to be taken the time to really explore and discover myself while I'm in my little space. I pretty much wrote this to open up a dialogue with the community. Because I know that is what I am really going to need in the near future. I have always had strength through community.

 

 And the psychiatrist was never for age regression. It was for a situation in my childhood that looking back at everything may have been the start to all of this. But I was so confused at the time I really didn't tell them anything and it didn't last long. Honestly I have always wanted to go back to get there opinion but don't necessarily have the money to pay for a psychiatrist but I got good friends.

 

I'm really looking forward to see where this all leads and for me to finally become comfortable with this side of me. :)

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Thats been been the big battle I am currently faceing. I finally came to terms with myself that I am a little and been this way for awhile now. It just now really trying to find the best way to explore this side of me that I have hidden from for so long. It is an an exciting adventure, I learn something new about me every day.
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