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littles/doms with bad pasts/ how to cope?


Little0ne
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hi hi

 

i was just wondering if any littles or doms have a bad past and how ddlg/ mdlb etc has helped them? 

 

my mum has a severe mental illness which made me feel very alone when i was younger and i felt like i had to grow up a lot faster. without having the praise as a small child i found ddlg to make me very happy to finally feel the way i wish i was when i was little. 

 

Has anyone else had this issue, if so how do you go with your daily routines?

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It's not uncommon these days for people to have bad past, myself included. One thing DDlg has done for me is allow me to acquaint myself with my inner child and start the healing process. It is also they way my brain finally stops overworking and I can breathe, lots of defense mechanisms and other things at play in there. I also have a really aggressive inner critic and DDlg, especially when I am regressed allows me to tune it all out.

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Id have to say your description of your child hood sounds a lot like mine. And i was already part of the ddlg community and then i started therapy. They had me work on my inner child which is a healing technique they use and its actually really common. It's just interesting how they are so hand and hand and how being in a ddlg lifestyle can heal someone
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It's not a bad past, per say, but a harmful way of thinking. I've always been a bit naive as a person and because of it, I've felt my IQ was less than average and have been shamed for it in the past. Allowing myself to be in touch with my inner little helped me realize its okay to not quite understand the world yet. I can take as long as I need to.

Edited by Strawberry Sprinkles
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Guest mollymoo

I have been healing with my ddlg relationship in a remarkable way. I feel sometimes like I'm...very damaged, to feel the way I do, but Daddy's reassurance and love has meant all the world to me. It means so much to be able to move forward and find that I love myself as much as he does. Our roles have really established lasting happiness. I feel like I can leave behind the crap that held me back if I move forward with him and with my other loved ones. I'm glad to know there are others out here with similar crap pasts. You guys are awesome. Know that. 

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Due to trauma in my past I had essentially ended my childhood - full stop - at around 7-10yos, different things during those ages. Because of this I have not quite learned how to process some things nor how to express them. I have also created a very grey and concrete image of myself and my expectations of myself. The DDlg dynamic seems to be way for me to slowly recover from this. Im currently in my first DDlg relationship - one year in October - and so far I can see how it will help me realize things I never was able to when I was younger. How some things are okay and how some things can be flexible. It is also a way to help deal with some other mental blocks I have - having someone I can rely on at this level (Which I have never had before) has allowed me to realize I do not have to do things alone. I can count on Daddy for help from the smallest things like him being happy for me getting a new book to the most difficult things like when my depression is at its worst and I can't get out of bed. And to everything in between. 

 

In my opinion the CG/l dynamic is the most intimate one out there. Because of this, finding the right CG has allowed me to restore some things in myself that I lost long ago. That bond with another human - which should have been parents - is now being rekindled in my partner. That saying "faith in humanity is restored" can metaphorically be applied here. "The ability to trust," "The ability to feel validated," and "The ability to be ME," are more apt descriptions. 

 

Long story short - from a psychological POV, CG/l is a very common dynamic to utilize when dealing with childhood traumas. And this is for a variety of reasons. You are definitely NOT alone in having a past, there are thousands before you, in your situation and will be thousands more. Just remember, the dynamic will mean something different to you than it does to me or anyone else. And that doesn't make it any less "real" - it makes it YOUR dynamic. And that is how it is SUPPOSED to be. 

 

Don't fret, there are plenty of us here if you ever need support or reassurance. You are definitely not alone. :heart:

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I'm dealing with C-PTSD and dissociation too (and several anxiety dissorders/depression) I do have little sides in me that never fully grew up. Otherwise I can put myself totally in regression and "safe" little space. I think it is the best thing in the world having a daddy to call your own and having little friends too who understand you and to do nice things together ^_^

I know where it came from but I would not live without this! It is the most magical world ever to exist. Sorry to hear you guys suffer from this too.

 

Big huggieess!

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  • 1 year later...

I mainly grew a love for this lifestyle due to the trauma of my dad abandoning me as a baby. My dad was never there for me, and that alone made me feel unappreciated and unwanted. When i tried out being little with my daddy, I found myself adoring everything to do with DDLG, and its soothed my anxiety and depression a lot. Whether im being little or a big boy, daddy is always there showering me with kisses and reminding me that im always gonna be his baby boy :3

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