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Running out of ideas


Guest greenhoney
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Guest greenhoney

My Daddy and I have been in a relationship for nearly two years, and have done the dd/lg dynamic since the beginning of january. I discovered my little self while in a relationship with him, so i have no prior experience to a dynamic like this, and it's a similar situation with him. Due to my living situation, and the fact that we have a little bit of distance between us, we can't really see each other. Our daily communication is 110% through messaging and IM. 

 

The issue i'm having is that sometimes I get really needy when I'm in little space. Because we cant video chat, or even see each other, he has trouble when I'm like this. I've explained my needs, and what I want, but he still has trouble and when I try to talk about it, he gets angry. He says he doesn't know how to do all that mushy stuff through IM and doesn't really want to because it's "too much effort." 

 

I really don't know what to do, or how to make things better. Does anyone happen to have any ideas? 

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It's interesting that you mention feeling really needy in little space and go on to mention this is where the communication struggles. I would imagine that even outside little space, partners (in general) can be various degrees of needy. Also it seems as though you've made your situation very apparent. I'm not defending his reaction towards your concerns, however it appears as though he may not know how to "fix it" which could be frustrating him. Of course it doesn't help that he shuts down when you try to explain how and he puts in in the too hard basket. I am curious though what the difference is between 110% messaging communication and needy little space communication.

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well, bluntly speaking, he can't give what he can't give. you can both talk about it and hopefully come to an understanding. if it can help, either or both of you should compromise. i'm speaking from experience coz i'm also in a LDR and it just sucks sometimes! for example when i badly need a hug, but he's not physically there. there's just no way he can fly over here or get on a magic carpet to give me the hug that i need. TT^TT

 

*hugs* hang in there!

if he can't IM, then how about calls? even long love letters, perhaps thru emails.

he can send you a gift. or vice versa! :D

you can play games! you just need to be creative~

 

to what extent is considered "mushy"? maybe you have different mindsets about this... 

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You have a void. You have 3 choisesfill the void or change your needs or suffer the pain u r having.you have no chance of changing him. Why would he changed.he has what he wants and needs. What I would recommend I'm not sure u want to hear..
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i notice a good number of littles not understanding that their cg needs time to mold into this world, you can't force it and you can't ask too much because you feel a certain way, you've been together for 2 years, i'm assuming you guys are in love with each other so don't be that kind of little who have a little companion to their cg. at the moment he will give you what he can because he's new just like you, baby steps little one baby steps.....

 

give him some time and don't scare him with asking too much of him to fit your needs.

just put yourself in his shoe and imagine how you can't do too much of what he sees in himself right now, would you rather he takes your hands with baby steps till you reach what you both want? or forcing it and getting upset because you can't go from 0 to 100 of something you don't understand and not used to?

 

stay safe and be happy  :heart:

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Guest greenhoney

Thank you everyone for you input. I do realize i need to be patient, and im working on that. instead of being frustrated by the situation, im trying to just be happy we can talk at all ~ 

 

:3

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