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How do you go from being a Dominant to being Strickly a daddy.


1Gr8Daddy
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I want to thank everyone for their input and advice in advance Incase I don't get the chance later.

I've been a Dominant for many years and up till a year ago never had the feelings nor the opportunity to love a little.

Me and my little first met when she Decided she wanted to be Submissive.

This worked great for me up and until I found I was madly in love with her.

There came a day when I realized she was acting just like a little girl. This did throw me off but excited me as well.

Now the reason I'm asking for advice is she is Bipolar which I think just adds to her actions and I love it. My problem is.

When I tell her to do things.

When I expect her to do what I say when I say she always does it at her own choosing as she finds shinny things constantly.

I'm on the road quite often and sometimes can't see her for days and then it's the worst.

When we're together I couldn't ask for anyone better.

She does call me daddy all the time which is her choosing. She changed my contact from sir to. My daddy. She does like to color and she likes the new doll so I'm not thinking she's doing this because it's something I want. Her being my beautiful little Sub was sufficient.

Back to my question.

Being as I'm new to the daddy little girl and have been in the Dom/Sub lifestyle.

How can I be a better Daddy for her without getting so upset because she doesn't obey and when she does its at her choosing. Her always getting frustrated with me. Us arguing all the time.

We do love each other and we're going to make this work so any advice to make it smoother would be appreciated.

Do I concentrate on being a daddy and forget the Dom for now. ?

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Definitely focus more on the daddy part, you can still have your dom side, but when she's in her little space you just have to act more carefree to an extent. Just be goofy and play with her if she wants you to. Do what she wants to do, you can tell her to do some things. Just don't be so dominant about it. Sorry if this doesn't help much. I can't really put it in words that well right now, little busy but I saw this and I've been in your position before so I thought I'd give the little bit of incite I could. 

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Guest PrincessKittyx
I like both aspects. And I like being punished (spankings, sent to bed early, no dessert) when i misbehave. And i often will misbehave just for the punishments. But maybe one day when she isnt in little space I would probably have a grown up discussion on the stuff she wants/needs. Every little is different. And we all want slightly different things.
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As someone with Bipolar I'm confused as to what you mean when you say you think it adds to her actions - what actions? And why would you love that? Even when someone is in an intense high from their Bipolar it's not something to love, it's a horrible, horrible mental illness.

 

If you're both arguing a lot I suggest taking a step back from your roles as a daddy and as a dom, and she taking a step back from being a little and sub. Have an adult conversation about what you both want and also about what you both need. You won't get anywhere talking to her if she's in little space - it needs to be an adult conversation. And the conversation needs to be had.

 

Also, daddies are inherently the dominant ones in the relationship dynamic of DD/lg, hence the Daddy Dom, so while it's not your standard D/s relationship, it has elements of domination and submission so you don't have to choose one or the other. You could even have both dynamics, but at the moment that sounds like a clusterfuck for you two, excuse my language, seeing as you're both already arguing.

 

I'd also like to add that she seems like a Brat type. Which, I'm sure you know but if you don't, is a type of submissive that enjoys misbehaving and testing their Dom through behavior that breaks rules or is disobedient. It seems like this is the type of submissive she is, from the limited information I've read about her. Brats can be hard to deal with, especially if you don't understand why they're acting out and you put it down to something more deep than what it really is, which is usually a cry for attention - much like actual children when they act up. 

 

Good luck. 

Edited by Antoinette
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Does she identify as a submissive or as a little? (or a middle, etc.)  Find out from her what she wants/needs at the moment. Talk about your needs as well, and eventually you can start to move forward and figure out what kind of dynamic works for the two of you. If you're going from a D/S relationship to a DDLG relationship there needs to be some sort of plan. Why the switch? Are you two done with D/S or are you just adding in DDLG? How much of each do you want? Are you just in an experimentation phase? Is this permanent? There are so many questions that could be asked, but without knowing the two of you and what you both want and need, it's really difficult to tell you exactly what you need to be or not be, other than yourself, but make sure you allow her to be herself as well, even if she might not feel the same way about DDLG that you do.

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Guest chilldude

I was a dom originally too. The key difference is you need to be softer, and least for some of the time. A little tends to be more sensitive than a submissive, and requires more emotional nurturing. A submissive is a grown woman, who is throughly independent yet wants to be led. A little girl might also be submissive, but like a child a little girl has more fears/doubts/etc. You need to be a sense of security and reassure her of your love. 

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Guest infinitecases

You don't need to forget the dom, you can incorporate both things into your lifestyle in a way which works for you. Just know when to be kinder and more lenient and when to be more dominant. When she's feeling little, she's most likely more sensitive and tiny things will impact her in a different way compared to when she is not feeling little. A daddy can be many things but I think most importantly, just learn to read what kind of space she's in and then change your tones accordingly. Every little is different in what they need and want, but I personally find that when I am little, or when I especially want to feel little, the one thing I want is for my daddy to be softer and to pay attention to me! Being a daddy is a lot just about interacting with her little space, reassuring her and encouraging her whilst also giving her rules and guidelines. Since you already like her being little, maybe just enjoy the activities she participates in and show her you love her little side. 

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I like both aspects. And I like being punished (spankings, sent to bed early, no dessert) when i misbehave. And i often will misbehave just for the punishments. But maybe one day when she isnt in little space I would probably have a grown up discussion on the stuff she wants/needs. Every little is different. And we all want slightly different things.

 

Thank you PrincessKittyx's. Your advice is greatly appreciated. One of the problems I'm having is trying to determine rather she's misbehaving for the punishment or because that's just who she is and finds to many shinny things. So to speak.

I did sit down with her last night and we discussed it and I think she is more interested in the being my little girl.

Now I guess it's a matter of me being understanding patient and figuring out when to punish and when to let her slide on things. Any advice.?

Edited by 1Gr8Daddy
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As someone with Bipolar I'm confused as to what you mean when you say you think it adds to her actions - what actions? And why would you love that? Even when someone is in an intense high from their Bipolar it's not something to love, it's a horrible, horrible mental illness.

 

If you're both arguing a lot I suggest taking a step back from your roles as a daddy and as a dom, and she taking a step back from being a little and sub. Have an adult conversation about what you both want and also about what you both need. You won't get anywhere talking to her if she's in little space - it needs to be an adult conversation. And the conversation needs to be had.

 

Also, daddies are inherently the dominant ones in the relationship dynamic of DD/lg, hence the Daddy Dom, so while it's not your standard D/s relationship, it has elements of domination and submission so you don't have to choose one or the other. You could even have both dynamics, but at the moment that sounds like a clusterfuck for you two, excuse my language, seeing as you're both already arguing.

 

I'd also like to add that she seems like a Brat type. Which, I'm sure you know but if you don't, is a type of submissive that enjoys misbehaving and testing their Dom through behavior that breaks rules or is disobedient. It seems like this is the type of submissive she is, from the limited information I've read about her. Brats can be hard to deal with, especially if you don't understand why they're acting out and you put it down to something more deep than what it really is, which is usually a cry for attention - much like actual children when they act up.

 

Good luck.

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Antoinette. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's not a very terrible illness. I feel for her all the time. When her doctor retired it was i that went about finding her another one. It's i that calls her constantly and reminds her to take her meds. And it's i that puts up with her different moods and actions.

Excuse me if I may not have said it correctly.

It's hard for me to explain but I do love her no matter that she has an issue with Bipolar and being as she has it she does need more attention more understanding guidance nurturing. A Daddy then many others do.

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Does she identify as a submissive or as a little? (or a middle, etc.) Find out from her what she wants/needs at the moment. Talk about your needs as well, and eventually you can start to move forward and figure out what kind of dynamic works for the two of you. If you're going from a D/S relationship to a DDLG relationship there needs to be some sort of plan. Why the switch? Are you two done with D/S or are you just adding in DDLG? How much of each do you want? Are you just in an experimentation phase? Is this permanent? There are so many questions that could be asked, but without knowing the two of you and what you both want and need, it's really difficult to tell you exactly what you need to be or not be, other than yourself, but make sure you allow her to be herself as well, even if she might not feel the same way about DDLG that you do.

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Dr_Disco's.

Thank you so much for your input.

I have been a Dom for many years and when we met it was her wanting to be a Sub.

We both did and do enjoy it but it was on a certain day that she had misbehaved that I noticed the little In her.

We sat down and dis used it and things started to making sense to her. It was her that thought she might be a little after we talked. She didn't know any such thing existed before.

You asked rather we were giving up the D/S or just adding in the ddlg.

That's really what I'm asking.

I guess. Lol

She does like me being firm.

She likes the fact that I care love and want to guide her.

I do this in both roles.

Do I be more lenient when it comes to her being punished.

And if so how far.

Remember we met and fell in love being D/S.

How easy can I be without her missing and needing a Dominant.

I'm sure some will say it's going to be 50/50 thing.

I don't see it as being that easy.

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You don't need to forget the dom, you can incorporate both things into your lifestyle in a way which works for you. Just know when to be kinder and more lenient and when to be more dominant. When she's feeling little, she's most likely more sensitive and tiny things will impact her in a different way compared to when she is not feeling little. A daddy can be many things but I think most importantly, just learn to read what kind of space she's in and then change your tones accordingly. Every little is different in what they need and want, but I personally find that when I am little, or when I especially want to feel little, the one thing I want is for my daddy to be softer and to pay attention to me! Being a daddy is a lot just about interacting with her little space, reassuring her and encouraging her whilst also giving her rules and guidelines. Since you already like her being little, maybe just enjoy the activities she participates in and show her you love her little side.

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infinitecases.

Thank you.

I guess what your saying is I do still need to be more patient and understanding.

That there is much I need to learn about her. Which i have been trying to do.

Do I discuss her being bad. Misbehaving.

Disobeying one time then spankings. Twice before spankings.?

What I'm being told is be more lenient and understand she's a little.

To what extent do I let her get away with things.

Being as we met her wanting the Submissive lifestyle. Could I be to easy on her.?

How do I know when she's being bratty. Misbehaving for the spankings or its her Bipolar issue which I do not feel I can hold against her and discipline her for.

Thank you for all your help and advice.

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I would like to thank everyone that responded to my post and as this is the first time I've ever gotten onto any type of social media. It is very important to me I get this figured out.

Excuse me if I'm not doing things proper.

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If you're both arguing a lot I suggest taking a step back from your roles as a daddy and as a dom, and she taking a step back from being a little and sub. Have an adult conversation about what you both want and also about what you both need. You won't get anywhere talking to her if she's in little space - it needs to be an adult conversation. And the conversation needs to be had.

 

i agree with this. you need to have a talk when you're both NOT in dom/sub or daddy/little space. maybe discuss the rules, boundaries, limits, changes, how the both of you should pace and adjust to this new discovery in your relationship...

 

i'd like to commend you for reaching out and asking for advice on this matter. :) i think it's great that a daddy goes to such lengths to learn and adjust for his little one, not just assuming things and doing whatever.

however, a relationship is a two-way process. Like how you are taking steps to develop your relationship, your partner should also understand that she can't suddenly expect you to cater to her new-found needs. that's why an adult conversation will be really helpful. :)

 

Best of luck!

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I would say if there is alot of arguing going on the you both need to step out of the DDlg dynamics and talk about issues that are there. Littles will misbehave and that is where the DD draws the line if what ia tolerated and what ia not. That where you do need be the dominant of the relationship and dish out a form of punishment. But like I first said maybe you both need to step back and have a talk. Communication is important.
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With my girl, i am more relaxed about taking care of her. I let her have some freedom, but she is not allowed to work or get her motor license. She also knows that, i will not spank her for minor things instead i take away her tablet (hulu for anime), and put her in time out on the bed with just her fav stuffed animal for comfort. My method has been met with great success and she is really good about it. The important part is, pick your battles. She will test you but dont overreact so she trusts you as well respects you.

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i agree with this. you need to have a talk when you're both NOT in dom/sub or daddy/little space. maybe discuss the rules, boundaries, limits, changes, how the both of you should pace and adjust to this new discovery in your relationship...

 

i'd like to commend you for reaching out and asking for advice on this matter. :) i think it's great that a daddy goes to such lengths to learn and adjust for his little one, not just assuming things and doing whatever.

however, a relationship is a two-way process. Like how you are taking steps to develop your relationship, your partner should also understand that she can't suddenly expect you to cater to her new-found needs. that's why an adult conversation will be really helpful. :)

 

Best of luck!

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Alice18. Thank you very much for your thoughts on this. I have taken everyone's advice and we did try to discuss this. The problem is. Another one. Lol.

She's very new to the D/S and now with the little being thrown in there. She's really not sure what she wants. She admits she wants the love and cuddling. She admits she does misbehave at times but she's not sure why.

I think. And I'd like some feedback on this.

Think that no matter if she's being a little. If she's just misbehaving. Or if it's because of her Bipolar that she's being bad. That she should be punished.

Am I to your way of thinking doing right by giving her the discipline that in the beginning of our relationship is what she wanted. ?

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I would say if there is alot of arguing going on the you both need to step out of the DDlg dynamics and talk about issues that are there. Littles will misbehave and that is where the DD draws the line if what ia tolerated and what ia not. That where you do need be the dominant of the relationship and dish out a form of punishment. But like I first said maybe you both need to step back and have a talk. Communication is important.

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DaddyPenguin's. I agree with your statement and everyone else's about communication. This has been one of my more struck rules from the beginning.

That communication honesty and trust is what we have to have. We have discussed it and as she's new as well as I am I am setting rules but don't want to be near as strick az I would be in a strickly D/S situation.

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i agree with this. you need to have a talk when you're both NOT in dom/sub or daddy/little space. maybe discuss the rules, boundaries, limits, changes, how the both of you should pace and adjust to this new discovery in your relationship...

 

i'd like to commend you for reaching out and asking for advice on this matter. :) i think it's great that a daddy goes to such lengths to learn and adjust for his little one, not just assuming things and doing whatever.

however, a relationship is a two-way process. Like how you are taking steps to develop your relationship, your partner should also understand that she can't suddenly expect you to cater to her new-found needs. that's why an adult conversation will be really helpful. :)

 

Best of luck!

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