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not being interested


Guest Lucio
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So.. i dont know if anyone ever really made a topic about this, but here goes. 

Pretty much every conversation i start in PM's start out fairly well. everyone is polite and although it doesnt always start off as smooth as it could, its not at all annoying or particularly bothering. BUT i notice that after just a few messages i just get blatantly ignored. at first i thought "oh well im sure theyre just busy or are relatively new and forget to log in etc." but after talking to about a dozen people the thing happens. a few messages here and there and then *poof* theyre gone. its honestly beginning to be quite frustrating at this point...

Are you peoples (CG/mid/little whatever you identify yourself as) also running into this "issue"? 

Thanks for reading and have a great day :):p

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Maybe not always after just a few msgs, but yeah.. I do. Messages here, kik, skype, whatever. It can happen eventually.

 

I'll even give people the option and say hey, if you dont wanna talk it's cool just tell me, not that anyone ever takes it LOL. I ask because I'd rather know than be left hanging. It's all good just let me move on to better things you know?

 

I think I've ended up ghosting on like 2 people but I feel bad when it happens, but I try to tell everyone the score if I dont have much time or similar. It's almost always a time thing for me!

 

I've even had someone specifically try to work me on the basis that they thought I'd give them care packages. That was interesting haha.

 

I've come to the conclusion that people do this, no matter where you are.

Here, dating sites, apps, everything. I guess it's easier to have no manners than tell the truth :)

Edited by DavCentral
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Maybe not always after just a few msgs, but yeah.. I do. Messages here, kik, skype, whatever. It can happen eventually.

 

I'll even give people the option and say hey, if you dont wanna talk it's cool just tell me, not that anyone ever takes it LOL. I ask because I'd rather know than be left hanging. It's all good just let me move on to better things you know?

 

I think I've ended up ghosting on like 2 people but I feel bad when it happens, but I try to tell everyone the score if I dont have much time or similar. It's almost always a time thing for me!

 

I've even had someone specifically try to work me on the basis that they thought I'd give them care packages. That was interesting haha.

 

I've come to the conclusion that people do this, no matter where you are.

Here, dating sites, apps, everything. I guess it's easier to have no manners than tell the truth :)

man, it sucks to have to admit this is true. as you said, its okay if someone doesnt want to talk, just let us know.. its just kinda dissapointing but hey, it is what it is. 

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Not only that, but a lot of ittles add me just to never say a word.

It's bizarre.

hahaha yup same here! ive had a couple of times where i get added and then dont get a message so i'll just go ahead and send the first message myself.. i mean, do some people actually expect you to message them when they add you? thats like showing some sort of interest and then expect the other to just do the rest.. so confusing.

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Guest Fros†beard

hahaha yup same here! ive had a couple of times where i get added and then dont get a message so i'll just go ahead and send the first message myself.. i mean, do some people actually expect you to message them when they add you? thats like showing some sort of interest and then expect the other to just do the rest.. so confusing.

Yeah, I'm not gonna break the ice if someone wants to add me.

I mean, there must've been a reason, something that got their interest. Right?

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Guest Volkmane1985

Similar to me, chat to Littles for a bit and then after I send my recent message to them I get nothing.  Now I could send them another message but why should it always be me?

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Yeah, I'm not gonna break the ice if someone wants to add me.

I mean, there must've been a reason, something that got their interest. Right?

Im generally pretty upbeat so when i get a message im like ooehh a person that added me? lets talk! :D may not always be a good knack to have i suppose.. maybe i come off too strong?

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Similar to me, chat to Littles for a bit and then after I send my recent message to them I get nothing.  Now I could send them another message but why should it always be me?

yea at some point there has got to be some mutual interest.. 

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Guest DaddyBuddha
Desire is the cause of sorrow buddha says, no expectation no disappointment as dr. Becker says =p.. Personally if i get added and i got get a msg, blah that's fine by me. I can keep a conversation going forever but if the other person is not putting the same effort as i do. They are not worth my time. As you know, the most precious thing in the world is time. Once it goes, there's no coming back. So I'd like to invest my time with someone who's worth it =) moral of the story, be happy, be positive and things will work out. Don't let it get you down.
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Desire is the cause of sorrow buddha says, no expectation no disappointment as dr. Becker says =p.. Personally if i get added and i got get a msg, blah that's fine by me. I can keep a conversation going forever but if the other person is not putting the same effort as i do. They are not worth my time. As you know, the most precious thing in the world is time. Once it goes, there's no coming back. So I'd like to invest my time with someone who's worth it =) moral of the story, be happy, be positive and things will work out. Don't let it get you down.

i get your point, but it doesnt necessarily bring me down, it just raises questions. maybe people are too shy or dont want to hurt any feelings by saying they rather wouldnt talk anymore.. its like a mystery haha

 

 

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This happens to me, too! I don't let it get me down. 9 times out of 10 that person was boring anywayyy. :p

well i mean it depends who i talk to. when their profile says theyre more energetic etc. i can be like EYOOO WHATS UP MY NOODLE but usually dont wanna risk scaring people off haha

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Similar to me, chat to Littles for a bit and then after I send my recent message to them I get nothing.  Now I could send them another message but why should it always be me?

 

I've needed a gentle nudge that their msg was there because its shown up with multiple other alerts and i missed it.

 

I guess that depends if you think they need it or if you were cold shouldered.

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Guest Volkmane1985

Just had this one:

 

A Little contacts me this morning because they liked my Ad, seems eager to chat but I'm unable to chat to them properly till now.  I finally get to chat to them and turns out they've been chatting to a guy who wants to be their Daddy who imposes rules on them for when they talk to me.  Essentially they give me the impression that they've already decided to go with the other guy without even giving me any chance.

 

Wow, thanks for wasting my time.

 

Muted them on kik and deleted the conversation.

 

Urgh.

Edited by Volkmane1985
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Just had this one:

 

A Little contacts me this morning because they liked my Ad, seems eager to chat but I'm unable to chat to them properly till now.  I finally get to chat to them and turns out they've been chatting to a guy who wants to be their Daddy who imposes rules on them for when they talk to me.  Essentially they give me the impression that they've already decided to go with the other guy without even giving me any chance.

 

Wow, thanks for wasting my time.

 

Muted them on kik and deleted the conversation.

 

Urgh.

dick move....

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Guest Fros†beard

This happens to me, too! I don't let it get me down. 9 times out of 10 that person was boring anywayyy. :p

It's not that they're boring. It's more that about 99% of the time, they simply can't hold a conversation to save their lives.

They'll be responding exclusively with acronyms and one to three words. If you ask what's up, they'll say "nm" and that's literally it.

I'm the kinda person who absolutely needs intelligent conversation, so on the other hand, it's convenient for me as they filter themselves out.

 

Thank Cthulhu I found someone I really like, off this site.

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It's not that they're boring. It's more that about 99% of the time, they simply can't hold a conversation to save their lives.

They'll be responding exclusively with acronyms and one to three words. If you ask what's up, they'll say "nm" and that's literally it.

I'm the kinda person who absolutely needs intelligent conversation, so on the other hand, it's convenient for me as they filter themselves out.

 

Thank Cthulhu I found someone I really like, off this site.

honestly, that really really bugs me. when you try to be interesting/funny and just hold up a convo and they (i mean people in general not just on this site) respond with max 3 words its just beyond me..

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honestly, that really really bugs me. when you try to be interesting/funny and just hold up a convo and they (i mean people in general not just on this site) respond with max 3 words its just beyond me..

 

Real human contact and healthy curiosity about someone else is rare,that's why it is so valuable. When you see it you can tell it !

 

A technical point here is,it seems you can't add anything to a friend's request. I am puzzled. I have sent requests and received no reaction,and myself received requests and did not react because nothing is added to give a clue as to why on earth ?

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Guest PrincessKittyx

It's not that they're boring. It's more that about 99% of the time, they simply can't hold a conversation to save their lives.

They'll be responding exclusively with acronyms and one to three words. If you ask what's up, they'll say "nm" and that's literally it.

I'm the kinda person who absolutely needs intelligent conversation, so on the other hand, it's convenient for me as they filter themselves out.

Thank Cthulhu I found someone I really like, off this site.

Yeah, I can't imagine myself getting serious about anyone here. But I like meeting people, so I just don't get up in my feelings about anyone I meet here. I did for a second the other day and I got burned. Just shrug it off.

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Guest JoeKarr

Look, as it goes, that's how these things progress.  If you can't keep someone's interest engaged then they kinda just loose track of you.  You shouldn't take it as a judgement on how "crap" your personality is.  Mind you, I've had to learn this repetitively myself, so I'm not immune to the cavernous doldrums of feeling bad about myself.  But, don't let your lack of connection define your self worth (yes another fortune cookie saying from an old Asian at his computer eating Lucky Charms and watching Craked.com videos).  I did use this site to try and make connections before, but it seems to have skewed more towards the younger set.  No big deal.  All things ebb and flow within the context of temporal time.  But, keep putting yourself out there and don't take rejection as a personal attack (notice I didn't say "personally" because I know how hard that is to do).  But seriously, you can't connect if you're not out there with everyone else.  And, as you've seen, you're not the only one out here getting emotionally singed.  We all burn down here.  Anyways, best of luck to you.  And if all else fails, just follow one of my favorite Disney character's genius mantras:  Just keep swimming. 

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In my many years of online dating, in the last year or so, things have changed I think. More and more people are "matching" on dating sites and/or apps and then not even messaging. When they do, you get 3 or 4 messages in and they stop replying. It's not like it went on long enough to get boring and I'm not the type to say something offensive when getting to know someone.

On Tinder profiles I often see the ladies have put "what's the point in matching with me if you're not going to message." So both men and women are guilty of doing it. I don't know why though, the only theory I can come up with is that we live in such an instant world that they like the initial interaction but then get bored. Let's face it, people are now fixated on getting "likes" on pictures on Insta, Facebook and whatever else, they're getting more desperate for attention, so on a dating site, they get that initial attention then it quickly fades. Just my theory anyway.

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One possible use of personals and everything here,is disclosure to someone you have met IRL ...

If you are able to go to some social event planned by members here,it is perfect. If you are not,chances of meeting someone,starting from scratch are low I think. However I can very well imagine myself mentioning ddlgfrorum in an IRL-born conversation. DollDirector has discovered the concept of enhanced dating lol ! 

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Online stuff is littered with part timers, bored people looking for a distraction for a few hours, days, weeks. People who want a quick, anonymous thrill. Players, cheats and just people who are all brave online then freak out and bolt. And about another hundred types besides. All part of the "fun" . Just accept it happens, nothing you can do about it, and keep going forwards.
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