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Guest Prima-Donna

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Guest Prima-Donna
I was talking to my friend the other day when a girl wearing a shirt that said "baby girl" walked by. My friend scowled in disgust and whispered to me about how gross it was that she was wearing a shirt like that, and proceeded to tell about how awful ddlg is. I kind of just stayed quiet and didn't really say anything, but I'm pretty sad. No one knows I'm a little and now I don't think I'll ever tell anyone. She's one of my best friends but I always feel like I have some giant secret I have to hide at all times. Anyone else get kink shamed?
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I've been told that, as a male who identifies as a Daddy, that I am.... I won't use the word, probably against forum rules, but it starts with the letter "P", simply because of the lifestyle. Never mind that I actually have kids, or that I can tell the difference between healthy adult relationships and other. I just distance myself from those people, or block them if they are internet based and refuse to leave me alone.

 

I can't imagine my best bro treating me in such a way, which is why I just keep this part of my life between my partner and myself, and people online who are in similar lifestyles as I am.

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Don't worry about what others think or say about ddlg, people often fear or reject things they don't know anything about.  You are part of a community full of acceptance and love, and we're here for you.

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Meh...I think you just have to take it as it is. Your friend likely doesn't know anything about ddlg beyond some random Tumblr post she read and would probably change her tune if she knew "normal people" like her own friends were into it. And even if she didn't change her mind, her preferences are hers alone, and you're not alone or judged here for being who you are.
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My friends kink shame me a lot (however, I'm open about it with them because.. idk we all are open about ourselves to each other) But I don't really see it as shaming, just expressing preferences. I don't think you should take it too personally.

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It happens all the time. I had someone say "With your luck he probably has a Daddy kink" and she said it in the way that would be bad luck if he did, what she doesn't know is that he is and I love it.

I had another person say "I had an ex that was into the Daddy kink, and he'd just randomly call me mommy during sex and I'd think of his mom but I hated his mom so it was such a turn off"

I honestly no longer mind it. I did one time, and I cried cause I felt weird about it and didn't know if people thought I was a freak. I don't care anymore. I let them say it, maybe even respond "Oh that would be bad" but at the end of the day its not a problem, especially if it's coming from a friend. I care about my friends more then I care about being kink shamed. So what if its not their kink, it is mine, and they don't have to agree with it to be my friend, or for me to still love and care about them. If they don't know you're a little then she probably thought you share the same opinion as her and was talking more trash then she really thinks.

I hope things work out between you and your friend and that you're able to sort through your emotions and how you're feeling. I send my love =^.^=

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I've had the P word thing too leo... and also from an ex partner too!! now THAT was interesting.

 

The thing is, people hear "daddy", "little girl", and immediately have ideas in their head. If the names were different, people would be forced to look at it differently instead of with preconceived ideas because of the typical names.

 

 

but yeah, prima, dont take it personally what your friend said. she is currently uneducated and thats ok! :)

 

if you really wanted to tell your friends about you being a little, start with the good, small, cute points of that on its own. like the things you like to do, how you feel. they should understand you essentially just enjoying being child like.

 

leave out anything to do with a daddy until necessary. i mean even your best friend can learn what it is and not be freaked out, but it would help if they are open minded to just what a personal kink is in general :)

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Guest Sweetkittenbj
I think we get kink shamed a lot. I've lost friends because of it, but I've made some great ones too. I saw a great post on Tumblr shortly after I joined the community. It said "No one has to understand our relationship except me and you." And that's very true. As long as you two get it, who gives a flying eff what everyone else thinks.
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This is a difficult situation especially when it is a friend. I would assume that they simply do not know much about it. There are three ways to handle it really join in temporarily and try to extend the conversation to a discussion of what it really is or at least find out what they think it is. Confront them with your identity or by challenging their own preferences as a way to make them think. or lastly ignore it. The last option is the most difficult at times because it requires a very self confident person (not only in general but in specific to their kink). In short if they are your friend you will know how to best address them and if you can or should try correcting their perceptions. 

 

You could for example say at least she isn't walking around with her pants down to her ankles. Or tying some poor guy up to a bed and wiping him. Both of which are ok with consent of those involved. ;) If you choose something your friend does or is into it can come across as joking while still making the point that you shouldn't judge others. 

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My friends all used to make jokes about DDLG and Daddys. I was really disheartened by it all, and feared that I would never be able to come out and I'd always have to hide who I was to my closest friends. It drive me crazy, and I eventually just cam out. They were way more accepting of me when I explained what it meant to me. When people don't understand something they can react really poorly towards it. I would say your friend just doesn't understand. If she was a true friend she would listen and learn. 

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In the future this is a perfect moment to open a dialogue and education someone. You don't have to out yourself but just say "yea, I heard about ddlg but to my understanding it's very different than what most people think". We get a bad wrap from general society and sometimes it's honestly as simple as explaining what YOU think ddlg is to maybe change 1 person's mind. I'm sure your friend would not have been so cruel if she knew you were little.... Friends should accept you as you are..... So maybe give her a break on this one. Education and knowledge is the greatest tool we have in the war against ignorance.
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I personally think we need to have thicker skin. So what if they "got it wrong" or hateful or what other reason? You live your life, they live theirs. Stand for yourself if attacked personally but let people what they want. Even us her, kinky minded people, are into some things and turned off by others. So to each their own. Once you let go of the need to please people you'll be happy.
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Guest itsybitsyfairy

When you're apart of something that strays outside the controversial box of things that people consider "normal", it comes with constant, and usually, brutal criticism and opinions. I had to grow a bit of a rougher shell because those little comments got to me for awhile, but now, I just block it out completely. It's honestly just something that you learn to grow with in this community. 

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Guest itsybitsyfairy

When you're apart of something that strays outside the controversial box of things that people consider "normal", it comes with constant, and usually, brutal criticism and opinions. I had to grow a bit of a rougher shell because those little comments got to me for awhile, but now, I just block it out completely. It's honestly just something that you learn to grow with in this community. 

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